July 6, 2023
It is clear that
bragging about grabbing women by the pussy, two impeachments, getting creamed
attempting a second treasonous term, inciting an insurrection, getting indicted for espionage with
several other major felony indictments looming, have not dampened the abject,
cultish fealty the majority of the Fascist Party faithful (You know…morons) unwaveringly
bestow upon their lard and slavior.
Trump’s lead among
primary voters has only widened since his latest crushing blow, according to
national polling. Every single primary rival has lost ground in the past two
months – even those who had no ground to lose. No one has lost more ground than
Florida Governor Ron DeFascist.
Assholes can’t resist a dickhead
Indictment For The
Win
We have it on good
alternative authority that President Joe Biden and his team are hard at work
trying to find a way to peel off some of Trump’s support among the
not-too-bright/not-beholden-to-the-law crowd in case Trump is the Fascist Party
nominee once again. Biden’s advisors have come to the conclusion that their best
bet is for the president to get indicted in order to woo some the 70,000,000
idiots who are likely still planning to vote for the disgraced,
twice-impeached, twice-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and
Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president.
Lock me up! Lock me up! Lock me up!
Team Biden is well aware that no matter what, Trump will still have more indictments under his elastic, stretched-to-the-limit belt than Biden could ever hope to amass in such a short time. Even if Biden does manage to get himself indicted, he will have his work cut out for him if he hopes to get close to the 70-plus counts Trump has already racked up, and Trump is only getting started.
Nonetheless, the Biden campaign is busy holding focus groups to determine which possible indictment would attract the greatest number of nitwits. Should he expose himself in public? Start inviting spies from China and Russia to his resorts to show off classified documents? Shoot someone on Fifth Avenue? Incite a coup against himself?
At the moment, cartoon
character/hot air buffoon Donald Trump is riding his indictment wave like a
bitch. The worse it gets for the Inciter In-chief, the better he does in
the polls. This shocking shithead is only four points behind Joe Biden right
now. will his next three or four indictments have the same effect? Will he take
the lead after his first conviction? Will he become forever-president after his
third or fourth? Inquiring minds want to rip their own heads off.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled heebie-jeebies.
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