On the eve of Trump’s visit to Alaska to meet
with Putin and without Zelenskyy – despite him saying he is meeting him in
Russia (because his dementia is raging out of control) – Trump announced on
social media that he was positioning nuclear submarines closer to Russia
Yes, he announced it on social media. You
know, because that’s what a fucking president of the country formerly known as
America does – glibly waggling his tiny, albeit nuclear dick around on social
fucking media.
Annie Jacobsen, in her excellent beach
feel-good read Nuclear War: A Scenario, was asked, “How close are we [to
nuclear war] right now, given the leadership in this world?” Jacobsen replied,
“We are always one button-push away from nuclear annihilation. If that line is
crossed, it’s end-game in 72 minutes.”
We cannot
have a doomsday gap.
Today’s Question For The Day:
Is it possible that Trump could become so
desperate to get out of the Epstein expose that he is willing to start nuclear
combat toe-to-toe with the Ruskies?
If you haven’t already had this thought,
apologies.
Whatever Else You May Think, It Was Sure Better Than Today
August 15, 2025
Another day, another Trumpian disaster. Therapist-in-chief…oops,
The Rapist-in-chief continues his non-stop-onslaught against truth, justice and
the American way. He and his malignant marauders don’t even bother hiding their
contempt for the law, the Constitution and you. Trump’s Fuck-You presidency
will not stop dismembering democracy until something or someone kneels on his
neck…metaphorically, of course. Right? When George Floyd was stopped from being
alive, he was an innocent man. Donald Trump is very likely the most guilty man
in American history. And America is now in a positionsimilar to George Floyd on that horrific day.
But we would like to take this momentto remember a less tragic event.
Given that this is summer and the one month that has no commonly
recognized holidays, we at Paying Attention™ have been
called upon by a higher power to make our own. This was easy since there are
two august events in August that are near and dear to our hearts and minds –
Resignation Day(s), which recently came and went, and the Woodstock Music and
Arts Festival.
Though Resignation Day(s) arrives first on the calendar, Woodstock
preceded the former in real time. Both of these events provided hope for the
future of humankind in my eyes, and in those of many of my generation at the
time. What fools we were.
Being in a rather lazy mood, or maybe it’s more burnout than
anything else, the gang here at Paying Attention™ agreed it would
be best to wander aimlessly down memory lane as we celebrate another favorite August
holiday around here. If nothing else, may we recommend cranking up a few of the
tunes featured below.
Whatever you decide, Happy Birthday Woodstock. Here’s what
appeared at Paying Attention™ on this day in
2019…
When Boomers Roamed the Earth
August 15, 2019
Max Yasgur was an upstate New York farmer and the largest
milk producer in Sullivan County, New York in 1969.Yasgur was a Republican who supported the
Vietnam War, but he went against the wishes of his sleepy rural community of
Bethel, and rented out his farm for a weekend music festival in August of 1969,
thinking it would be good for the local economy and would help bridge the
contentious generation gap.
What could be so bad about having a few thousand kids listen
to music in the fresh air for a few days?Though the local folks for the most part wanted nothing to do with a
bunch of hippies coming anywhere near their peaceful environs, no one imagined
the size of the crowd or the ultimate notoriety of what was about to engulf
them.It was like an invasion, a caravan
if you will, of unfamiliar outsiders, whose differences frightened these simple
people.In the end, it was, as Max
Yasgur would tell the crowd on his farm, “three days of fun and music, and
nothing but fun and music” that rocked the world.Literally and figuratively.
I did not make it to Woodstock.I really wanted to go, but I was not of
driving age and my parents would not let me.Especially now that I have fewer days to look forward to than the number
I have already seen, I cannot blame them.
I did see the movie the moment it came out because I was not
willing to wait for it to come out on Netflix.And I played the album many times on my cheapo turntable which I
foolishly set up on my suburban back lawn (Surprisingly, that album still plays
almost perfectly).Since then, I have
been a bit obsessed with what many have called “three days that defined a
generation.”
The Woodstock Music and Art Festival began on this day 50
years ago [in 2019]. The line-up of
musicians was and is legendary, if not unequaled.From Richie Havens to Ravi Shankar, from
Janis to Jimi, The Who, Santana, Sly & the Family Stone, Joe Cocker, Joan
Baez, Creedence, the Dead, CSNY, Country Joe and many others.
Here are a few of my (many) favorite performances.I'll probably throw a few more choice tunes
on here over the next couple days.
Richie Havens – Freedom
John Sebastian – I Had a Dream
Max Yasgur
The Ultimate Star Spangled Banner
It is said, “If you can remember Woodstock, you weren’t
there.”
Take one guess who out-schmucked a very tough
field today. Hell, take a half a guess. That’s all you’ll need. The king of
psychotic shitweasels Donnie Trump has done it again. He is still desperate to
find something to take everyone’s mind off his love affair with professional pedophile
Jeffrey Epstein and his obvious fondness for psychotic sexual predator Ghislaine
Maxwell – who Donnie wished well and then ordered moved to a year-round summer
camp for the criminally inclined, that is, the wealthy (and I’m guessing
overwhelmingly white) criminally inclined. One problem though; the Texas minimum-security
happy place for felonious fuckwads is for white collar criminals, not sociopaths
who trafficked and sexually abused teen girls for a decade.
Donnie’s latest gambit, which is likely to
titillate his racist cult members comprises fabricating a crime wave in heavily
black Washington, D.C., apparently masterminded by the homeless. Or something. It should not be lost on anyone that Trump is obsessed with harassing cities with Black mayors and large non-white populations.
Despite
all the data that shows significant decrease in all categories of crime in D.C.,
Donnie stuck his face sphincter in front of cameras and microphones to lash out
at the non-existent crime explosion in what should have long ago been the
nation’s 51st state.
Compare these numbers* with Trump’s crime rate
and a very different picture emerges
Here’s some of what president Lying-Sack-Of-Shit
barfed up at his press tantrum
Our capitol city has been taken over by violent
gangs and bloodthirsty criminals, roving mobs of wild youth, drugged-out
maniacs and homeless people.**
Not one syllable of that was within a thousand
light years of the truth. Undaunted, he went on and on, bleating and repeating
his verbal-all-caps clap-trap, but hey, at least he called the homeless
“people”; that surely comes as a surprise.
In order to combat this mythical uprising, Trump signed
two executive orders federalizing the D.C. police for 30 days. By law, any
extension beyond that period requires congressional authorization. Trump of
course, is no fan of congressional authorization. He has wrested control of the
D.C. police – you know, the ones his hench-monkeys brutally assaulted and tried
to kill in Trump’s name during his attempted coup on January 6, 2021. Who he pardoned
unconditionally immediately after his second, soon to be fatal inauguration.Because, you know, he’s all about law and order.
Not only that, Trump has sent in hundreds of FBI
agents and more than 800 National Guard troops into our Capitol. and tanks. Tanks. You may recall
that Trump sent exactly zero support into Washington, D.C. whileexuberant tourists his minions
beat the crap out of law enforcement and trashed the Capitol. And while the
insurrectionist-in-chief watched with bated breath while wishing he could still
get it up. Because, you know, he’s all about law and
order.
However, our dogged reporters and nimble interns
have learned that Der Furor may have changed his "mind" about how to
deal with the hoax he is determined to sell us.
“Instead of sending in the armed troops to quell
the non-violence and rid Washington, DC of its homeless menace, I am
considering simply paving over the homeless. It worked for that horrible Rose
Garden. All that disgusting grass is finally gone, I wish I could have made it
golder, but after purchasing enough gold to do that, I decided that all the
gold should go to your favorite president. I know what to do with gold. Better
than anyone. If paving over the homeless – and by the way, being homeless is a
choice and for all we know, they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats,
they’re eating the pets of the people who live there – if burying them under
concrete doesn’t solve the problem, I may have to use nuclear. I don’t want to,
but I’m allowed to. Or maybe I’ll send the lovely and talented Ghislaine
Maxwell over there to straighten things out.”
____________________________________________ *Actually, violent crime in D.C. has dropped another 26% in 2025; it is
at a 30-year low. It is Trump that is clearly high on his own supply.
**Actual quote, presumably penned using immigrant blood by Stephen Miller.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Keep
on schmuckin’!
It
makes me want to wallow in Watergate, revel in recollections, call a plumber
and just sit in silence for 18½ minutes.
But
here we are, saying goodbye at the station, summer vacation, is taking you
away. Have a good time, but remember, there is danger in the summer moon above.
Will I see you, in September, or lose you to a summer ICE raid because you got
so tan the overpaid*, under-trained, under-brained, masked morons racially
profiled you in error?
Bye,
bye, so long, farewell.
He's As Mad As A
Hatter And We're Not Going To Take This Anymore
The
Mad Bladder was wandering around the White House, got lost and ended up on the
roof. The press below yelled questions up to the mental-patient-in-chief who
shouted stuff no one could hear while making incomprehensible hand gestures,
before walking away, propelled by his horrific, high-velocity farts.
Here
some of the questions hurled up at Mr. Happy-Go-Fucky:
Sir,
why are you on the roof?
Mr.
President, what are you doing up there?
Come
down and talk to us.
Apparently
this fuckwad has nothing better to do that ruin the White House grounds with
masses of concrete where once was grass, having installed
grossly-overcompensating flagpoles, planning a complete unnecessary, unwanted
classlessly-garish over-sized ballroom and whatever he is planning to do to
ruin – more permanently – the rooftop he just stumbled around on. After all
that’s why we elect our presidents – so they can redecorate the White House.
All that other stuff is just for show.
Hey
America, get off my paved-over lawn
_______________________________________________ *Did you know that thanks to Donnie’s Big Bad Bill making ICE one of the
largest armed forces in the world, they are paying new recruits up to $100,000
to make America white again? I shit you not.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
No More Shopping Days Left Before Resignation
Day(s)
In case you forgot where we left off
August 9, 2025
If there could be anything better than
impeaching someone like Richard Nixon (once) or Donald Turmp (twice), it would
be indicting someone like Donald Turmp and finding him guilty, perhaps even
LOCKING HIM UP. With Nixon, it was said that the cover-up was worse than the
crime. That might be true. After all, at least according to Nixon – before
everyone learned it was his idea – Watergate was nothing more than a
“third-rate burglary.” Donald Trump on the other hand is the personification of
attempted (so far) murder.
In the case of Turmp, there has, at least not
since the bombing of Ft. Sumpter, been anything worse than his long-planned
attempted coup. That is, until he retook the White House in order to exact
revenge on everyone who ever stood against him and end democracy in America. No
one thought Trump could be worse than he was in his first term; well everyone
hoped he couldn’t be any worse, but of course, he could and he did. And he’s
getting more worse by the day.
Anyway, we were not supposed to be talking about
today today. We’re supposed to be talking about this date 51 years ago. There will be plenty of time to talk about today tomorrow. And the next day. And the days,
weeks and months after that. For now, enjoy the holiday.
Frank Zappa – Dickie's Such An Asshole
(circa 1973)
Those Who Don’t Learn From History
Are Doomed To Fuck It Up For The Rest Of Us
Before we regale you – or perhaps gale you for
the first time – with this year’s brand-new verses of the old holiday favorite ‘Twas
The Night Before Resignation, on Day 2 of Resignation Day(s), here are a
few highlights from the ghosts of Resignation Day(s) past.
Just a few more hops down
memory lane before the main event, but you would be forgiven, if not advised,
to skipping ahead to a few new verses for Resignation Day(s) 2025:
2013
Pardon me for not forgetting.
Pardon me for not letting it go after all these years. Pardon me for dragging
you into my obsession. I just can’t seem to quit the man who tarnished America,
no easy feat, and then quit rather than face the music. I don’t care if he’s
dead, I still want to impeach Nixon. It’s never too late for justice to be
done. I know it will never happen in this case, but that doesn’t make it right.
Those who do not learn the
lessons of history are doomed. Period. And that’s the way it is. Good night and
have a pleasant tomorrow.
2014
Thanks Ed, that was a treat as
always. I hope you don’t mind if I add a verse or two for today’s holiday
season…
Once more it’s that season, now
Obama’s the one
New Impeachers are restless, and each has a gun.
They are angry and senseless, and each one is White
No need for good reason, they just want to fight.
So let’s watch in amusement, as they trip o’er their tongues
As they sputter and spew and expel from their lungs
All the hot air and spittle, all the BS and blight,
Keep it up silly Crackers, and to all a good-night!
2016
Tiny
hands, tiny brain, tiny what-the-fuck-ever,
You will lose very bigly and be president…NEVER
Go prepare your next bankruptcy, it’s what you do best
You whiny Tweet-aholic, and sanity’s pest
2017
The
endless lies and insanity assaulting us all, By
Constitution, our right and our duty - this Chrump thing must fall. So
I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight, More Impeachment to all,
and to all a good-night!
2018
Impeachment, resigning
once more fill the air,
Now dash away blob with your FAKE orange “hair”,
This Chrump works for Putin, and amplifies hate, He’s racist, he’s fascist; ain’t America great?
Though mostly Chrump’s
tweeting and golfing galore, He’s doing great damage,
let’s show him the door. Fake “hair”, phony
color, his face sphincter speaks, Let’s vote like we mean it and be rid of this freak.
Colluding, conspiring,
with Russia, oh no!
Won’t tell his own people what he said to our foe.
This treasonous cretin makes us all sick and tired,
Let’s pray the next Congress will tell him, “YOU’RE FIRED.”
2019
We heard from The
Mueller, in a manner of speaking
He said there were crimes, he said there was sneaking
He all but said, “Congress, it’s time to impeach,”
He said indicting and punishing was out of his reach.
Still helping the
Russians help him get re-elected, With his treason,
stealing children from their parents and torturing them, denying climate
crisis, treating international allies like dirt and generally threatening
global stability, we all are infected His crimes are
innumerable, his racism steady Impeach The Mother
Fucker Already!
2020
‘Twas the night before Resignation
So we had our
impeachment, if fell with a squish,
We thought he would go down, did not get our wish.
Chrump escaped, abetted by old Moscow Mitch, That dastardly, reptilian son-of-a-bitch.
Only one thing might
stop this walking crime ‘gainst humanity, This shit storm
perpetrated by this terrestrial manatee. A second Chrump term
will kill America, no doubt, So, on November the 3rd,
VOTE HIM THE FUCK OUT!
2021
‘Twas the night before Resignation (In 2021 it just gets verse)
Twice, there were Turmp crimes, and
all through the House,
There were cries for impeachment, “Get rid of this louse!”*
The crimes were all proved, beyond shadow of doubt,
Witnesses, videos. Throw the bum out.
The country was nestled and nervous
and scared,
Of the mad orange man, with the fake orange “hair.”
He bragged about crowd size and hands and whatever,
He promised to fight and stay president forever.
And despite all the evidence, and
all the convincing,
Still half the country’s all his, the other half wincing.
It was easy to see that this Turmp was a fascist,
Who put any against him on his miles-long blacklist.
They impeached him not once, they
impeached him then twice
The Senate stood by him, we never got to say, “Atsa nice.”
‘Cause he stayed on in office, swore he’d get re-elected,
But the voters said, “Fuck off! Go to hell! You’re rejected!”
The sorest of winners, could not
handle such losing,
So he riled up his MAGAts, to believe his delusing,
Go take over the Capitol, it need not make sense,
And while you are at it, try hanging Mike Pence.
Never cared ‘bout America,
repeatedly treasonous,
One can’t help but wonder just what the reason is,
Always siding with Putin, and threat’ning Ukraine
To get Hunter Biden? This fucker’s insane.
He whined and he moaned and incited
insurrection,
All because he’s psychotic, no one wants his erection.
Turmp still thinks he’s president, or will be reinstated,
His tiny brain and reality are for sure unrelated.
Can the Democrats somehow get
brains, spines and balls,
And stop the Turmp Party from having it all?
They unsuccessfully impeached him not once but twice,
There’s nothing left, but to impeach his ass thrice.
_____________________________________________________________ *Actually, the cries
were “Impeach The Mother Fucker Already!” which didn’t rhyme with house and
would have thrown off the rhythm completely.
‘Twas the night before indictment,
and all oer the place
America on the precipice of wars civil and race.
When all of a sudden, we heard such a clatter,
When Merrick Garland said finally, “Something’s the matter.”
Though now Turmp is gone, well not
really but sorta
And at least we can’t feel his tiny hand on our aorta,
He is out of high office, the vote saw to that,
But Turmp just won’t accept it, his head is too fat.
He keeps whining and calling to get
the votes changed
Turmp can’t let it go, he’s a fascist, deranged.
He deserves a subpoena, or at least an indictment,
For his scheming and plotting and his violent incitement.
Actual photos of two toilets in which Trump flushed
documents
For his eating, burning, shredding
and stealing of documents,
And even mixing some in with his voluminous excrements,
The White House plumber (not Nixon’s) needed always be near.
For Turmp’s flushing of documents, no punishment too severe.
On Rudy, on Hawley, McCarthy and
Gaetz,
On Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and oh how they hates.
They want a White nation of Christians, not Jews,
Their divorce from reality is surely not news.
Two impeachments, one term, there has
not been one worse,
And the cause of such angst, and such torturous verse.
Drag him off by his feet, or his “hair” or whatever,
Let him back in the White House? Oh fuck no! Oh fuck, NEVER!
2023
We’ve now had some indictments, p’rhaps justice is nigh,
Trump can’t keep his fat trap shut, is he stupid or high?
He confess to crimes, and he threatens the judges
Trump must have a death wish, he just never budges.
Trump declares many things, not one is a fact,
Like saying he’s protected by the Presidential Records Act.
He keeps claiming this thing, his head’s a latrine,
That act does not mean what he thinks that it means.
Donny Douchebag’s still running, for to stay out of jail,
And our justice moves slowly, at the pace of a snail.
We must hope that Jack Smith, can in court be successful,
And get orange jumpsuit and bars surrounding this asshul.
Will the Fascist Party nominate an indicted or convicted
felon,
Who atop his shoulders sports a hollow, festering melon?
Will Trump serve as president from a crappy cell,
While the rest of America, slides into hell?
Only time will tell if there’s life after Trump,
Or our democratic republic ends up mildewed and buried in
the trash heap of history, in a rotting, smelly dump.
There’s no telling how dimly America’s light might flicker,
Before we just hope Climate Crisis ends it all quicker.
That is all for this year, there’s too much crazy shit,
So much stupid and criming, and dumb fascist twits.
Trump’s impeachments were foiled by McConnell, et al,
Despite that the House had him grabbed by the balls.
For us, now it’s back to news, needles and pins,
And the soul-crunching fear that Trump somehow wins.
Let’s think and let’s pray, and then hope and then vote,
So that Trump is pariah, when history’s wrote.
So, without further ado, or a
don’t, or a maybe, Paying Attention™ brings you our 2023 installment of the
Resignation Day(s) festivities.
‘Twas the night before fascism, just
kidding, it’s here
As Trump steamrolls democracy in just half a year
With the Court in his pocket, the House under thumb
With dementia in head, and a cult full of scum.
With ICE and the tariffs, with DOGE
and tax cuts
And a cabinet consisting of whackos and nuts,
Between Trump and John Roberts and Project two-five,
Does anyone think our democracy can survive?
"Now
Vengeance! now, Tariffs! now, ICE and Epstein!
On, extortion! On, MAGATs!, oh my what a scene!
We see Trump ascending, and democracy fall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
“Now
Hegseth! now Bondi ! now, Noem and McMahon!
On, Brainworm! On Gabbard! Oh my, such a scam!”
On Rubio! Now, Patel, on JD and Oz,
A worse bunch of fucknuts there just never was.
Can we make
it to midterms, we there still be a vote,
Or will Trump and his “judges” seize power and gloat?
So enjoy this resignation season, we’re desperate for some fun,
If Jeffrey Epstein has his way, we might just have another one.
Those Who Don't Celebrate History Are Doomed To
Regret It
August 8, 2025
As always, Paying Attention™ suspends our
regular coverage of the day's fascist follies to celebrate one of the truly unique moments (36 hours, actually) in American
history. These days, there is much to cover every single day as we find ourselves in
another unique period in our nation's fragile maturation. The fascist insurrectionist and 34-time convicted felon who ran on getting revenge, and the biggest boatload of hatred, bigotry and lies finagled his way back into the White House, determined to put a stop to the Grand Experiment that was American democracy. It was never perfect, not even close, but it paved the way for something better. Much better in fact than where we find ourselves at this moment in history. Nonetheless,
we hope you have some free time to celebrate this momentous holiday.
There is so much shit hitting so many fans so
often that we didn’t even realize Resignation Day(s) season was upon us. We’ve
barely had the time to sleep or feed ourselves since November 5th let alone put up our Resignation
Day(s) decorations. Nonetheless, we must at least post something to honor this
very special holiday.
Nixon seems so quaint now. Sure, he was a narcissistic, vengeful, paranoid drunk, but he was not a fascistic psychopath bent in the destruction of democracy, America, the environment and civilization in general. Nixon was at least part mammal. The new guy is unable to access anything other than his lizard brain, and even that is badly damaged.
In any event, we leave you in the capable
hands of us from last year. From everyone here at Paying Attention™.
Told you so
The favorite holiday of
everyone here at Paying Attention™ is upon us once again. Sure, many people
prefer July Fourth, or Festivus, or some of the older, more mainstream
holidays, but Resignation Day(s) have long held a special place for everyone
here since that fateful night, August 8, 1974. We were enjoying a pleasant
evening in the Philadelphia suburbs watching the great Bonnie Raitt perform at
the Ambler campus of Temple University. A little after nine o’clock, Bonnie
stopped the show to announce that the war criminal, lying crook, anti-Semite,
and all-around vengeful, paranoid malefactor Dick Nixon had announced that he
would be resigning as of noon the very next day. As a great cheer went up from
the audience, Raitt played Auld Lang Syne and then finished her planned set. We
went home afterwards and celebrated in style. Oh, frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
Dick Nixon’s idiot henchmen got
caught breaking into the Watergate offices of the DNC by security guard Frank
Wills, whose life was ruined because he did his job by reporting the break-in. Nearly
47 years later, Donald Trump’s idiot henchmen got caught – though they made no
attempt to hide anything – breaking into the Capitol to shit on the walls and
on democracy itself. It did not take a security guard to uncover this break-in.
Trump’s malignant minions were caught in the act by everyone watching the whole
thing on live tv. And they were, and many still are proud of it. Others claim
it was all a false flag operation perpetrated by the FBI. These people need a
nice quiet room with rubber walls.
A number of Ratpublicans have
suggested that Mike Pence, who aided and abetted Turmp for five years, was a
hero on that day and deserved a medal. Why? Because he, like Frank Wills, did
his job? Pence spent much of Jan 6 running away from his boss’ angry mob (a mob
Pence still hopes to woo for a presidential run). The same mob who wanted to
hang him by his neck. Pence eventually carried out his constitutional duty,
though beforehand Pence was hoping he could carry out Turmp’s wishes and
overturn the legitimate election that made it clear he and his boss had lost
bigly. Frank Wills died in abject poverty, unable to afford water or
electricity. Mike Pence thinks he is running for president…of an imagined
Christian nation where the Bible trumps the Constitution.
Today, many in the Fascist (nee
Republican) Party are clamoring for the
impeachment of President Joe Biden, for reasons that only exist in their badly
damaged brains. We, on the other hand, are currently enamored of a different
“I” word – INDICTMENT. The tsunami of indictments raining down on the former
guy are based on actual facts, unimpeachable audio and video evidence and
myriad confessions by numerous parties involved, including the ringleader
himself and some of his lawyers.
Can Things Possibly Get Any
Verse?
As we have done most years
since 2008 when a wonderful poem was rescued from obscurity, we present those
now famous stanzas with new verses being added yearly.
Here is the original long-lost
text as presented in 2008…
I stumbled across a bit of this
very old, well-known verse that I thought would be fun to share with everyone
at this special time of year.It’s an
age-old seasonal ditty and this being my favorite American holiday and
all.I’m not sure I remembered all of
the words correctly but I’ve rendered them to the best of my recollection, and
I may have been overzealous and inadvertently added a few verses that didn’t
exist at all.But, it’s full of holiday
magic and joy – a favorite of children and adults throughout the ages so read
it to your children and grandchildren to keep the tradition alive.Now without further ado, in honor of August
8-9, 1974, a moment in history, which our Founders would surely have savoured,
I bring you…
‘Twas the night before Resignation
‘Twas the night before Resignation, when all
through the house
Richard Nixon was cornered, like a trapped diseased mouse.
His burglars had screwed it tho they burgled with care,
His cover-up in ruins, soon the end would be there.
The Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads.
Sam Irvin with his gavel, exposed all the crap,
And roused our democracy from a long winter’s nap.
So all o’er the land there arose such a clatter,
Even the public could see what was the matter.
And there it was every day on TV like a flash,
Then everyone knew the president was trash.
It was hard to imagine this crook being regal
Tho he said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But his lies all exposed and the end of his career.
A great day for democracy, it happened so quick,
What could be worse than that horrid old Dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And all those were sentenced and each one by name!
"Now Haldeman! now, Erlichman! now, Mitchell and Dean!
On, Colson! On, Liddy!, oh my what a scene!
They all came a tumbling from the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
August 9, 1974 reimagined: Two
great tastes that taste great together:
Nixon’s very victorious shameful resignation and
Bush’s equally iconic/ironic MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We hope this helps get you in
the holiday spirit. Keep the party going while there remains any glimmer of hope for the
future. All the aforementioned crises are not going away any time soon. But we
can take these two days to reflect on the past, try to block out the present if only for a day or so, and duct tape our
fingers crossed for the future.
In the meantime, enjoy Day One,
but be sure to get some rest. You’ll need all your strength to get through
Resignation Day(s) Two.
It’s time for a little good-news-bad-news humor. Seeing as
this is essentially a one-way communication medium – at least in real time – I
will need to play both parts in the bit.
Me: Well you, I have some good news and some bad
news. Which would you like first? The good news or the bad?
You: Give me the good news first. I could use a bit,
any little crumb in fact, of good news.
Me: Okay. Now, I need to preface this by saying that
this good news we’re talking about is good news for Donald Trump. Do you still
want this first?
You: Well, that kind of sucks. While I’m badly in
need of good news, I don’t think I really want any news that might be good for
our sniveling shit-weasel in chief*, I’d much rather…well, never mind, just go
ahead and give it to me.
Me: Got it. But before I give you this good news that
is making you start to regret your decision to even be involved in this – which
technically, you’re not – let me assuage your fears by telling you that it’s
not all that good. So, here it goes: The good news is that Donald Trump does
not have the worst approval rating of any president at this point in their term
as president.
You: Okay, that’s not as bad a bit of good news as I
was expecting. So what’s the bad news – which I dearly hope is bad news for
Trump.
Me: Here we go – the bad news is, the only president
with a worse approval rating at this point in their presidency is the 45th
president who Jon Stewart called Fuckface von Clownstick, aka Donald Jackboot Trump.
And since you were so gracious as to play along, here’s a
fun fact: the only president with a lower approval rating than Trump at this
point in their second term was the man whose holiday we love to celebrate here
at Paying Attention™, old Tricky Dicky himself, the one, the only Richard M.
Nixon.
Two dicks – Icky & Tricky – in 1989
Just be glad I don’t have any knock-knock jokes to deploy.
__________________________________________ *Presumably, you would not use
that exact language, or even similar language, but I have to go with my
strengths here, so cut me some slack.
Stay tuned for the Resignation Day(s) festivities coming any
minute now.
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