No More Shopping Days Left Before Resignation Day(s)
August 9, 2025
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If there could be anything better than
impeaching someone like Richard Nixon (once) or Donald Turmp (twice), it would
be indicting someone like Donald Turmp and finding him guilty, perhaps even
LOCKING HIM UP. With Nixon, it was said that the cover-up was worse than the
crime. That might be true. After all, at least according to Nixon – before
everyone learned it was his idea – Watergate was nothing more than a
“third-rate burglary.” Donald Trump on the other hand is the personification of
attempted (so far) murder.
In the case of Turmp, there has, at least not
since the bombing of Ft. Sumpter, been anything worse than his long-planned
attempted coup. That is, until he retook the White House in order to exact
revenge on everyone who ever stood against him and end democracy in America. No
one thought Trump could be worse than he was in his first term; well everyone
hoped he couldn’t be any worse, but of course, he could and he did. And he’s
getting more worse by the day.
Anyway, we were not supposed to be talking about
today today. We’re supposed to be talking about this date 51 years ago. There will be plenty of time to talk about today tomorrow. And the next day. And the days,
weeks and months after that. For now, enjoy the holiday.
Those Who Don’t Learn From History
Are Doomed To Fuck It Up For The Rest Of Us
Before we regale you – or perhaps gale you for
the first time – with this year’s brand-new verses of the old holiday favorite ‘Twas
The Night Before Resignation, on Day 2 of Resignation Day(s), here are a
few highlights from the ghosts of Resignation Day(s) past.
Just a few more hops down
memory lane before the main event, but you would be forgiven, if not advised,
to skipping ahead to a few new verses for Resignation Day(s) 2025:
2013
Pardon me for not forgetting.
Pardon me for not letting it go after all these years. Pardon me for dragging
you into my obsession. I just can’t seem to quit the man who tarnished America,
no easy feat, and then quit rather than face the music. I don’t care if he’s
dead, I still want to impeach Nixon. It’s never too late for justice to be
done. I know it will never happen in this case, but that doesn’t make it right.
Those who do not learn the
lessons of history are doomed. Period. And that’s the way it is. Good night and
have a pleasant tomorrow.
2014
Thanks Ed, that was a treat as
always. I hope you don’t mind if I add a verse or two for today’s holiday
season…
Once more it’s that season, now
Obama’s the one
New Impeachers are restless, and each has a gun.
They are angry and senseless, and each one is White
No need for good reason, they just want to fight.
So let’s watch in amusement, as they trip o’er their tongues
As they sputter and spew and expel from their lungs
All the hot air and spittle, all the BS and blight,
Keep it up silly Crackers, and to all a good-night!
2016
Tiny
hands, tiny brain, tiny what-the-fuck-ever,
You will lose very bigly and be president…NEVER
Go prepare your next bankruptcy, it’s what you do best
You whiny Tweet-aholic, and sanity’s pest
2017
The
endless lies and insanity assaulting us all,
By
Constitution, our right and our duty - this Chrump thing must fall.
So
I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight,
More Impeachment to all,
and to all a good-night!
2018
Impeachment, resigning
once more fill the air,
Now dash away blob with your FAKE orange “hair”,
This Chrump works for Putin, and amplifies hate,
He’s racist, he’s fascist; ain’t America great?
Though mostly Chrump’s
tweeting and golfing galore,
He’s doing great damage,
let’s show him the door.
Fake “hair”, phony
color, his face sphincter speaks,
Let’s vote like we mean it and be rid of this freak.
Colluding, conspiring,
with Russia, oh no!
Won’t tell his own people what he said to our foe.
This treasonous cretin makes us all sick and tired,
Let’s pray the next Congress will tell him, “YOU’RE FIRED.”
2019
We heard from The
Mueller, in a manner of speaking
He said there were crimes, he said there was sneaking
He all but said, “Congress, it’s time to impeach,”
He said indicting and punishing was out of his reach.
Still helping the
Russians help him get re-elected,
With his treason,
stealing children from their parents and torturing them, denying climate
crisis, treating international allies like dirt and generally threatening
global stability, we all are infected
His crimes are
innumerable, his racism steady
Impeach The Mother
Fucker Already!
2020
‘Twas the night before Resignation
So we had our
impeachment, if fell with a squish,
We thought he would go down, did not get our wish.
Chrump escaped, abetted by old Moscow Mitch,
That dastardly, reptilian son-of-a-bitch.
Only one thing might
stop this walking crime ‘gainst humanity,
This shit storm
perpetrated by this terrestrial manatee.
A second Chrump term
will kill America, no doubt,
So, on November the 3rd,
VOTE HIM THE FUCK OUT!
2021
‘Twas the night before Resignation
(In 2021 it just gets verse)
Twice, there were Turmp crimes, and
all through the House,
There were cries for impeachment, “Get rid of this louse!”*
The crimes were all proved, beyond shadow of doubt,
Witnesses, videos. Throw the bum out.
The country was nestled and nervous
and scared,
Of the mad orange man, with the fake orange “hair.”
He bragged about crowd size and hands and whatever,
He promised to fight and stay president forever.
And despite all the evidence, and
all the convincing,
Still half the country’s all his, the other half wincing.
It was easy to see that this Turmp was a fascist,
Who put any against him on his miles-long blacklist.
They impeached him not once, they
impeached him then twice
The Senate stood by him, we never got to say, “Atsa nice.”
‘Cause he stayed on in office, swore he’d get re-elected,
But the voters said, “Fuck off! Go to hell! You’re rejected!”
The sorest of winners, could not
handle such losing,
So he riled up his MAGAts, to believe his delusing,
Go take over the Capitol, it need not make sense,
And while you are at it, try hanging Mike Pence.
Never cared ‘bout America,
repeatedly treasonous,
One can’t help but wonder just what the reason is,
Always siding with Putin, and threat’ning Ukraine
To get Hunter Biden? This fucker’s insane.
He whined and he moaned and incited
insurrection,
All because he’s psychotic, no one wants his erection.
Turmp still thinks he’s president, or will be reinstated,
His tiny brain and reality are for sure unrelated.
Can the Democrats somehow get
brains, spines and balls,
And stop the Turmp Party from having it all?
They unsuccessfully impeached him not once but twice,
There’s nothing left, but to impeach his ass thrice.
_____________________________________________________________
*Actually, the cries
were “Impeach The Mother Fucker Already!” which didn’t rhyme with house and
would have thrown off the rhythm completely.
‘Twas the night before indictment,
and all oer the place
America on the precipice of wars civil and race.
When all of a sudden, we heard such a clatter,
When Merrick Garland said finally, “Something’s the matter.”
Though now Turmp is gone, well not
really but sorta
And at least we can’t feel his tiny hand on our aorta,
He is out of high office, the vote saw to that,
But Turmp just won’t accept it, his head is too fat.
He keeps whining and calling to get
the votes changed
Turmp can’t let it go, he’s a fascist, deranged.
He deserves a subpoena, or at least an indictment,
For his scheming and plotting and his violent incitement.
For his eating, burning, shredding
and stealing of documents,
And even mixing some in with his voluminous excrements,
The White House plumber (not Nixon’s) needed always be near.
For Turmp’s flushing of documents, no punishment too severe.
On Rudy, on Hawley, McCarthy and
Gaetz,
On Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and oh how they hates.
They want a White nation of Christians, not Jews,
Their divorce from reality is surely not news.
Two impeachments, one term, there has
not been one worse,
And the cause of such angst, and such torturous verse.
Drag him off by his feet, or his “hair” or whatever,
Let him back in the White House? Oh fuck no! Oh fuck, NEVER!
2023
We’ve now had some indictments, p’rhaps justice is nigh,
Trump can’t keep his fat trap shut, is he stupid or high?
He confess to crimes, and he threatens the judges
Trump must have a death wish, he just never budges.
Trump declares many things, not one is a fact,
Like saying he’s protected by the Presidential Records Act.
He keeps claiming this thing, his head’s a latrine,
That act does not mean what he thinks that it means.
Donny Douchebag’s still running, for to stay out of jail,
And our justice moves slowly, at the pace of a snail.
We must hope that Jack Smith, can in court be successful,
And get orange jumpsuit and bars surrounding this asshul.
Will the Fascist Party nominate an indicted or convicted
felon,
Who atop his shoulders sports a hollow, festering melon?
Will Trump serve as president from a crappy cell,
While the rest of America, slides into hell?
Only time will tell if there’s life after Trump,
Or our democratic republic ends up mildewed and buried in
the trash heap of history, in a rotting, smelly dump.
There’s no telling how dimly America’s light might flicker,
Before we just hope Climate Crisis ends it all quicker.
That is all for this year, there’s too much crazy shit,
So much stupid and criming, and dumb fascist twits.
Trump’s impeachments were foiled by McConnell, et al,
Despite that the House had him grabbed by the balls.
For us, now it’s back to news, needles and pins,
And the soul-crunching fear that Trump somehow wins.
Let’s think and let’s pray, and then hope and then vote,
So that Trump is pariah, when history’s wrote.
So, without further ado, or a
don’t, or a maybe, Paying Attention™ brings you our 2023 installment of the
Resignation Day(s) festivities.
‘Twas the night before fascism, just
kidding, it’s here
As Trump steamrolls democracy in just half a year
With the Court in his pocket, the House under thumb
With dementia in head, and a cult full of scum.
With ICE and the tariffs, with DOGE
and tax cuts
And a cabinet consisting of whackos and nuts,
Between Trump and John Roberts and Project two-five,
Does anyone think our democracy can survive?
"Now
Vengeance! now, Tariffs! now, ICE and Epstein!
On, extortion! On, MAGATs!, oh my what a scene!
We see Trump ascending, and democracy fall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
“Now
Hegseth! now Bondi ! now, Noem and McMahon!
On, Brainworm! On Gabbard! Oh my, such a scam!”
On Rubio! Now, Patel, on JD and Oz,
A worse bunch of fucknuts there just never was.
Can we make
it to midterms, we there still be a vote,
Or will Trump and his “judges” seize power and gloat?
So enjoy this resignation season, we’re desperate for some fun,
If Jeffrey Epstein has his way, we might just have another one.
One more thing...
If you have not seen the movie Dick, we highly recommend it...
Dick (1999)
BONUS TRACK:
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