As one of the greatest men in American history was finally
laid to rest today, one of the worst men in American history was afraid to show
his dye-stained, pout-encrusted face, despite the fact that the great man, John
Robert Lewis had served honorably and to tremendous effect for the greater good in the United States Congress for 33 years, and despite
the fact that the horrible man was the current Impeached president of the
United States. And, despite the fact that the Impeached president’s conspicuous,
cowardly and bigoted absence was more of an honor to Congressman Lewis, it was
not meant as such. With any luck, this nation will never forget the disgraceful
no-show of the 45th (and impeached) president on this very important
day. May John Lewis rest in peace and may Donald Chrump never know any.
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
In case you did not see the footage of Impeached
president Donald Chrump paying his respects to civil rights icon and all-around
American hero Congressman John Lewis, the first African American lawmaker to
lie in state inside the Capitol Rotunda, you did not in fact miss anything. From
the horse’s ass’ mouth, “No, I won’t be going, no.”
America’s disgraceful, racist pig/fake president, who only conceded to
lower the White House flag to half-staff 14 hours after John Lewis passed away
(and for just half a day), likely after relentless cajoling from advisors,
refused to display a shred of dignity and promised to be a no-show at Mr. Lewis’
casket. Perhaps that was in fact the best way Chrump
could have honored John Lewis. Chrump was too busy
repeating the words “person, woman, man, camera, teevee” over and over and over
again to remind himself of how much dementia he doesn’t have. According to a
number of experts, bragging about how amazingly one did on a test for dementia
is a sure sign of dementia.
Chrump was also busy deploying untrained,
unprepared, unmarked federal thugs…I mean troops to do battle – literally –
with peaceful protesters, including moms and veterans who were equally likely to be
assaulted for no reason. Chrump insists on calling peaceful protesters “anarchists”
and “terrorists” to scare the Biden out of his mentally challenged hangers-on who might be having second (first actually)
thoughts about voting for the man who is now, hands down, the worst president
in American history. When will they learn that Impeached president Shit-For-Brains, as always, is talking about
himself. If only Chrump's terrorizing Stormtrumpers would
turn their attention where they are truly needed – 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue –
and keep the most dangerous, most radical, America-hating troublemaker from vandalizing and destroying government property– specifically, the United States Constitution.
“Person, woman, man, camera, teevee.”
See how “cognitively there” I am?
This has been your Paying Attention
Thought For The Day.
Braindead Is A State Of Mind, Age Is Just A Number... And Donald Chrump Is An Old
Idiot
July 26, 2020
While most of us have the option of Rent-a-Coma for reasons
that are both obvious and overwhelming, and can be brought back to normal brain
function at a moment’s notice, not everyone is so lucky.
“Because I have like, a good
memory, because I’m cognitively there.”*
Despite all his bragging about “acing” a test of cognitive
disability, of which he said, “I actually took one very recently,” but which he
likely took two years ago, it seems obvious that Donald Chrump is in what
medical experts we spoke with are calling an “intellectual coma.” Though Chrump
appears to be conscious, and is able to walk, eat, tweet and watch Fux News for
10 hours a day, for all intents and purposes, his brain is on life support.
Not even an intellectual coma makes Chrump look peaceful
The test he keeps obsessing over almost as much as he
obsesses about his Electoral College victory, is typically administered to
those suspected of having cognitive decline like dementia or memory loss – what I wouldn’t give for some
serious memory loss right about now.
To hear Chrump tell it, he asked his idiot, lackey, now
ex-doctor Ronny Jackson if there was some sort of acuity test he could take to
show how mentally competent he was. Naturally, Chrump was lying, and tests of
cognitive ability are not called acuity tests. Nonetheless, Chrump “aced” this
incredibly easy test, and insists that the doctors who supposedly watched him
take the test were simply amazed. According to Chrump, “I took it at Walter
Reed Medical Center in front of doctors and they were very surprised. They
said, ‘That’s an unbelievable thing. Rarely does anyone do what you just did.’”
An acuity test
First of all, apparently doctors routinely tell patients
they did well on this test; after all, the people who take this test are having
noticeable mental issues. Second, the idea that anyone could do anything close
to “unbelievable” on one of these tests – unless it was unbelievably crazy – is
patently ridiculous. The odds of Chrump’s story being anything other than pure,
unadulterated Chrump-quality bullshit are smaller than Donald Chrump’s barely
existent brain.
It is well-know and well documented that Chrump is impressed
with his brilliance, his “very good brain” and considers himself “a very stable
genius.” He points this out repeatedly during the constant non-sequiturs that
pass for speeches, news conferences and off-the-cuff remarks to which we are
subjected day after day after excruciating day.
Chrump also regularly and
literally points to the seemingly impenetrable
bony container alleged to house “his very, very large uh-brain.”
Doctors are baffled, but it has been verified that Chrump
has been in an intellectual coma for several years now. This of course,
explains quite a bit. I would feel sorry for him if it weren’t for the fact
that he is literally killing tens of thousands of us. According to Dr. Noah
Ittawl, “Mr. Chrump is just this side of braindead. He appears to be conscious,
and is able to speak, after a fashion. This is why he can’t sustain an actual
thought for more than a fraction of a second. We believe the only reason an
occasional full sentence, sometimes comprising a single topic, manages to make
its way out of his mouth is sheer coincidence. Let’s face it, he was never all
that bright to begin with, and being in an intellectual coma is obviously not
helping matters. My colleagues and I are fully convinced it would be best if
Mr. Chrump would just shut the fuck up, but it seems that his particular coma
has the added oddity of compelling the patient to keep his mouth and/or thumbs
moving at all times. We are afraid that, though we would greatly like to
forcibly keep that mouth closed, we might lose him altogether. However, though
we are doctors, we are also human beings – hey, it’s not like we’re lawyers –
and even if it turned out to be safe to shut that mouth permanently, we have
agreed as a group that it is best to keep him talking at least through November
3rd, since this seems to be one of the most powerful factors in
assuring a second term will never happen. And that, according to every single
doctor on the planet, with the pathetic exception of Ronny Jackson, is a
critical requirement for the continuation of the human species.”
Meanwhile, the novel coronavirus, which has failed to magically disappear as promised when it
got warm, or hot, continues to kill and
continues to mutate in ways that make it almost impossible to pin down for a
vaccine:
Part Sicko, Ass-kisser, Part (Republican't) Elephant – All Fucked Up
July 24, 2020
Sickophant: a cross between sickos, ass-kissers and elephants – but,
political-logo-based elephants, not real elephants, who unlike certain
(actually, all as it turns out) presidents are both above the law and above
reproach.
Gratuitous photograph of
stately, intelligent elephants
A small swarm of smarmy
sickophants – neither stately nor intelligent
Apparently, Donald Chrump and his many sickophant Republican’t
hench-mutants in Congress are true originalists. Supreme Court justice Antonin
Scalia (still dead) always claimed to be a constitutional originalist – he
believed in the literal word of the Constitution. Scalia claimed in essence
that he knew exactly what was in the hearts and minds of the thinkers and
authors of the Constitution. This despite the fact that the Founders themselves
were rarely sure of anything, often disagreed with each other, and could
disagree with themselves from day-to-day. This of course makes sense given that
1) they were human beings, and 2) they were trying to create something that
essentially never existed in governments throughout the world at the time. And
given that they were genuinely thoughtful, curious and creative men, who
ultimately managed to work together and compromise for the greater good. Ahhh,
the good old days.
Today’s Republican’ts are channeling, as you might expect,
the worst of what the Founders had to offer (well, maybe not the very worst,
which was allowing and participating in slavery), as they attempt to keep their
traitorous leader in power by attempting to, as much as possible, limit voting
to land-owning white males, and doing everything they can to ensure that everyone
else faces as many obstacles as possible to casting and having their votes
counted on November 3rd. This is of course nothing new.
Republican’ts have long known that allowing people to vote is their Kryptonite.
Not all Chrump sickophants are politicians. Someone has to
propel these tiny brained wipers of other people’s bottoms into office. For
example, the anti-brain/anti-mask MAGA crowd.
A very funny, very scary,
depressing video
We Have All Been Here Before
Fun fact: During the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic, two things
that were known and used to control spread of the virus were having people wear
masks and observe social distancing. This seems oddly familiar.
Un-fun fact: The 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic featured a group
called The Anti-Mask League of San Francisco.
The city of Philadelphia ignored the warnings of devastation
and calls for social distancing. The city held a parade, and suffered tremendous
loss of life; the city of St. Louis heeded the warnings, instituted a
quarantine, and suffered 50 percent fewer fatalities per capita. St. Louis
instituted strong social distancing measures and a low total death rate. They
successfully delayed their peak in deaths, but then experienced a sharp
increase when restrictions were temporarily relaxed. Philadelphia finally banned
gatherings and closed schools eight days after they endured the highest peak
death rate of all cities studied.
Another small group of sickophants comprise the majority of
the United States Supreme Court. Yes, on occasion one or two forget their
places and uphold the law rather than their political bent. The Fossilized Five
just voted to keep what is essentially a poll tax alive in Florida. Floridians
voted very strongly and powerfully in favor of allowing ex-felons to regain
their voting rights once their debt to society has been paid.
All of these machines can kill fascists when used properly; no MAGAts
allowed
Donald Chrump’s response to the brutal horizontal lynching
of George Floyd and the subsequent massive, unrelenting outpouring of grief and
demand for justice for George Floyd and black lives across this country and the
world was to demand a new armed force to protect people of color. Unfortunately,
that color was in most cases bronze, as in bronze statues of treasonous Confederate
generals and their fellow travelers. You know, men who made their names by going
to war against the United States in order to protect their ability to own, rape
and otherwise degrade other human beings. Heckofajob Chrumpie.
There is a new, unmarked goon squad preparing to land in American cities with Democratic mayors. First stop, Portland, Oregon. Make no mistake, these para-military provocateurs, invading
American cities are Chrump’s creation, sent to stir up violence, fear and
loathing. A memo obtained by The Nation reveals that they are a special task
force created by the Department of Homeland Security in response to a Chrump executive
order on Protecting American Monuments, Memorials, and Statues and Combating
Recent Criminal Violence. In reality, they are being deployed for, among other
nefarious reasons, to create campaign ad footage. Chrump will use these scenes
of violence to scare his tiny-brained minions with claims that, 1) giant mobs
of vicious anarchists are trying to take America over by force and, 2) Joe
Biden is in league with them and this chaos is what America will look like when
Biden is president. I guess team Chrump doesn’t realize that the violent chaos
on their television screens is happening now – on Chrump’s watch, in Chrump’s
great, or transitioning to great, or whatever the fuck it is that Chrump is
pretending he is doing to America. Fortunately for him, his followers are too
stupid to put two-and-two together and come with anything vaguely resembling
four. It appears that Donald
Chrump is attempting to start police riots all across this country. He has
already test marketed his storm troopers in Portland, Oregon. His masked,
camouflage-encrusted (They know they’re not in the woods and we can see them,
right?) Chrump has abandoned any pretense – as if there ever was one – of
appealing to anyone but his deplorables. He never had any desire to be
president of the United States. He only wanted to be a reality-TV-president of
the worst of what the 21st Century has to offer – the white
supremacists, neo-Nazis, KKK, random racists who no one will associate with, your
basic morons and very-white trash who find Chrump appealing.
One Portland woman’s response
to Chrump’s storm troops
There is a good chance Chrump will try to either find an
excuse to send armed troops to (i.e., minority-heavy) polling places – assuming
any remain open on November 3rd – in select cities to “keep the
peace” (i.e., ensure as few people of color are able to vote as possible) or to
simply not bother pretending to have an excuse and just do it because, as Chrump
has said previously,
aloud, in public, “When somebody is the president of the United States, the
authority is total. And that's the way it's got to be.”
One of Chrump’s many ‘acting secretaries’ (and when I say
secretary, I mean literally someone who takes dictation from the boss, without
thought, second, or even first guessing) who is so full of Chrump’s Kool-Aid
his piss has been orange for months, is Chad Wolf of Homeland Security. This
Wolf in creep’s clothing had this to say about violently barging in on states’
rights, terrorizing and abducting innocent citizens: “I don't need invitations
by the state, state mayors*, or state governors to do our job. We're gonna do
that whether they like us there or not.” In fact, plans are already afoot to
invade any number of other Democratic strongholds like Chicago, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Oakland, Detroit and New York City
in the near future…whether they like it or not. I’m guessing not. God
bless Amerika.
As if this was not bad enough, we have to entertain
(probably a poor word choice) the distinct possibility that Donald Chrump could
order a nuclear strike on New York or California in order to increase his now
minimal and continually worsening chances of winning even another Electoral
College victory. You
may recall that Chrump wanted to nuke a hurricane – not the one he tried to
modify with a Sharpie – and has no idea what nuclear weapons actually do. This is
the guy who just said to Chris Wallace, “We won two world wars, two world wars,
beautiful world wars, that were vicious and horrible…” Beautiful, vicious,
horrible world wars. Duck and cover people.
Group of Electoral Collegians
on lunch break
Chrump has already declared that he has no intention of
accepting a legitimate (many people are saying yuuuuge) defeat in November. As
he did in 2016, Chrump is already preemptively whining about a rigged election,
and unless it is rigged in his favor again, there will trouble right here in
River City. I say that’s trouble, with a capital ‘T’ and that rhymes with ‘C’
and that stands for Chrump.
*Could
someone tell this acting genius that there is no such thing as ‘state mayors’?
I. Mangrey re-warning. Golly gosh, this seems less than
optimal.
“It’s one thing to be
a moron and to be a racist, but now you’re killing us.” Rob Reiner on Donald Chrump,
July 19, 2020
Far too many Chrump supporters are screaming, punching,
throwing hissy fits in stores, and shooting off more than their mouths over
what they fret are violations of their rights and freedoms. The heinous
violations of which they shriek, are the demands by officials and experts for
everyone to wear a mask when in public spaces. The purpose of wearing a mask,
which people with brains know, is to protect the rights and freedoms of fellow citizens
who are trying not to die from what enters their personal space because some
infected idiot refused to wear a mask. Just because you think you live in your
own little world, does not make it so. The rest of us can still hear, see, smell and become infected by you.
More
poor spelling from Chrumpworld: should read i-d-i-o-c-y
He’s Doing A Terrorific Job
Donald Chrump recently sent secret forces into Portland,
Oregon to quell, well no one knows exactly what needed quelling in Portland.
There was no request for assistance let alone from masked shock troops dressed
in camouflage, military/riot gear and assault weapons to storm the streets of
an American city, and abduct law abiding citizens engaged in peaceful protest –
if that. One person, standing in the street apparently brandishing a sound
speaker, was shot in the head with “a non-lethal round”, fracturing his face
and skull, nearly killing him.
These paramilitary troops are supposedly part of Customs and
Border Protection. Not sure what Border they are protecting – shouldn’t they be
making sure the wall at the Mexican border isn’t falling over? Shouldn’t they
be obeying Oregon’s Governor Kate Brown who called the incursion “an
extraordinary abuse of power”? Both Governor Brown and Portland Mayor Mayor Ted
Wheeler have demanded that Chrump withdraw his thugs and take their unwanted,
unnecessary, violent political street theater with them.
The invasion of Portland,
Oregon in Chrump’s dystopian America
For all we know, these are mercenaries hired by Chrump to
terrorize citizens and foment violence. Chrump is sowing hatred, fear, division
and chaos in order to augment the usual Republican’t electoral felonies so that
he and they may maintain their choke hold on democracy. Republican’ts have had
their knee on the neck of America for longer than nine minutes, and the air is
quickly being squeezed out of our lungs, the last gasp being closer than we
realize.
So, the MAGAt crowd is freaking out about having to wear a
fucking mask for a little while, but they sit silently by, waving their
Confederate flags, and flipping off the Constitution as Dear Leader launches
violent, terrorist attacks against American citizens, on American soil because of
graffiti…or something.
Acting Deputy (acting deputy, because he was illegally
appointed to the agency last year according to a federal judge) Secretary of
Homeland Security and poorly trained rat Ken Cuccinelli told
NPR, “this is a posture we intend to continue not just in Portland but in any
of the facilities that we’re responsible for around the country. Not only are
they not going to stop but they want to take the tactics nationwide.”
Cuccinelli is anti-LGBTQ rights and a long-time white nationalist known for his
hardline anti-immigration stance, who actually said out loud, “[virulent racist
lunatic] Steve King is one of my very favorite congressmen.”
I wonder how soon we will be forced to breach the Third
Amendment and quarter these “soldiers” in our homes without our consent. After
all, it’s not the sacred Second Amendment.
Wear a fucking mask or keep
your mouth shut;
make that and keep your mouth shut
Just so I have this straight: Masks that protect us and
others from dying are destroying our freedom. Heavily armed, unidentified storm
troopers in unmarked vans, deployed onto American streets against the wishes of
the state’s government to abduct, arrest, terrorize and maim non-criminal
citizens are making America great again. Am I missing anything? States’ rights
anyone? Fascist much?
Farewell
To One Of America’s Finest The Conscience of Congress Has Left The Building
July 18, 2020
The world has lost an unrelenting, unrepenting Freedom Fighter.
An original Freedom Rider,
Arrested over forty times. A life-long champion/practitioner of non-violent protest, Good troublemaker. Marched with King in Selma.
Brutally beaten by police on the Edmund Pettus Bridge on
Bloody Sunday.Graced the United States Congress with his presence. Gone too soon.
Though you lived through so much turmoil, You made a real difference. Rest in peace.
John Lewis
Jon Butcher - Good Bye Saving Grace
This has been your Paying Attention
Thought For The Day.
In their continuing effort to kill Americans with the coronavirus, the Chrump administration is now ordering hospitals to stop informing the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) of all data related to COVID-19 cases. Because, who should Americans trust when it comes to public health and safety? A bunch of medical experts or brainless narcissist who, 1) says the pandemic that has already killed 140,000 Americans is just a hoax to keep him from being re-elected, and 2) pondered aloud, in front of cameras, to doctors, if injecting disinfectant into live human beings might be a good way to treat virus patients, and 3) is a documented pathological liar about absolutely everything? And these are some of his better traits. Tough call.
“I told my people, ‘Slow the testing
down please.’”
Donald Chrump, June 20, 2020
Pundits are wondering aloud why would Chrump suddenly take
the CDC out of the loop and control the data from the White House. Really? This
is the guy who says on an almost daily basis that if we stop testing for the
virus the number of cases will go to zero. It stands to reason that Chrump
“thinks” that if he hides the number of cases that he says don’t exist in the
first place, that the pandemic will “magically disappear.” Public health
experts however, are not wondering about the move; they fear the data will be
distorted for political gain. At least someone is paying attention.
It is entirely possible at this point that the Chrump
campaign believes it is best to keep the pandemic going in order to augment all
of their other Gut Out The Vote efforts. The thinking is, if the pandemic
continues unabated, people will be afraid to show up at the polls (most of
which will have been shuttered by Republican’ts to ensure the longest lines
possible). This, coupled with the accelerating assault on the United States
Postal Service, they hope will cripple mail-in voting efforts. Add this to
their typical voter purges and other disenfranchisement techniques and
Republican’ts can likely steal another election. And put the final nail in the
coffin into which they have already stuffed American democracy.
Another Deranged Doctor
Former White House physician and
lying Chrump lackey Ronny Jackson – who in 2018 spent the better part of an
hour trying to convince the American public that Donald Chrump “had great
findings across the board,” “had a lot of energy and a lot of stamina.” Jackson
described Chrump as “very sharp and very articulate” and said he “told the
President that if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years he might live
to be 200 years old.” He further lied that Chrump was 6’3” tall and weighed 239
lbs. After winning his primary, Jackson will likely be elected to Congress in
November in a very red, intellectually challenged district.
Jackson, after demonstrating his
utter disregard for the truth in service to Chrump was tapped to head the VA
Department in spring 2018. However, Jackson withdrew his nomination after
allegations of “excessive drinking on the job,” “improperly dispensing meds,”
and other workplace misconduct surfaced, which the ethically-challenged Jackson
naturally denied as “baseless and anonymous attacks,” but stated that he was
withdrawing because they had “become a distraction.”
Jackson recently admitted to not
wearing a mask “all that often” in public during the current pandemic, which
continues its swath of devastation across the country. Ronny told Fux and
Friends, “I think that wearing a mask is a personal choice, and I don’t
particularly want my government telling me that I have to wear a mask…I don’t
wear a mask all that often to be honest with you.” I wonder if he believes the Earth is flat.
Doctor vs. Not-A-Doctor
The White House also amped up their attempt to discredit
their own top infectious disease specialist, Dr. Anthony Fauci. Chrump's top
trade adviser and highly disregarded professional idiot Peter Navarro wrote
in an op-ed for USA Today that Fauci (who 76% of Americans trust on the
pandemic as opposed to 26% who trust Chrump) “has a good bedside manner with
the public, but he has been wrong about everything I have interacted with him
on.” That is, if by “wrong” Navarro means exactly right based on the available
information at a given time, and having the guts and brains to change his
advice as new information comes to light.
Navarro often clarifies that he has no experience with
science or medicine (while claiming he knows more than you do because he is a
“social scientist”) during interviews; he frequently screeches about this
immediately before he blathers on about issues of science or medicine. Navarro
claimed he was attacking Fauci at the behest of his lord and savior Donald
Chrump. Ever the cowardly liar, Chrump insisted he has a great relationship
with Fauci and denied having any prior knowledge of Navarro’s op ed. If he only
had a brain.
There is another insipid, intergalactic interloper, intently
interfering in global affairs. It becomes clearer with each
kidney-stone-passing-like moment that this thing calling itself Donald Chrump cannot be of this planet.
He barely speaks the language,
His “hair” looks like science fiction
gone terribly wrong,
He constantly points to his “head” as
if to say, “Look what I found”,
Shaking his hand seems more like a prelude to
being eaten, He is constantly sniffing as though he has cheese burgers stuck up his nose,
He does not stand like humans,
Steps frighten him and it often
appears that he is just learning to walk,
He is mystified by puddles,
He is cohabiting, and reportedly
spawned a child with an
android, that is either color blind or a possible psycho killer
based on its choice of White House Christmas decorating, Chrump throwing a ball as he
was taught on his planet, Even in his favorite sport, he swings a club like a brain injured gorilla,
It takes tremendous concentration and effort for Chrump to
imbibe liquids using just one of his tiny hands, after which, rather than placing
the drinking receptacle back in its place like a human, he simply tosses the
potentially injurious object aside.
Likely, after weeks of intense practice (you can see the
strain and confusion on his “face” as he attempts the confounding feat), Chump
impresses a mentally challenged, deranged, fawning audience by accomplishing
two very small sips of what appears to be water. But clearly, like Saudi
“pilots” who learned how to fly but not land planes, Chrump was not instructed
what to do with the glass after his incredible triumph. According to reports,
Chrump had planned to have a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner hoisted to celebrate,
but was dissuaded by advisors who distracted him with a bucket of chicken, causing him to lose his train of thought...permanently.
To
be fair, no one is certain if this creature is actually from Mars. It could be
some otherwise undiscovered world, but it damn sure is not from here. Someone
should help him phone home and help him get the fuck out of here.
