Ya Got Chrouble

THE M(ake yo)USIC(k) MAN

Right here in River City
June 10, 2016 August 11, 2016

Every so often the muse strikes me. I meander back to my younger years. Innocent musicals. Clever songs. Parody to be sculpted. The muse struck me a few months ago but I didn’t want to break the rhythm I. Mangrey had going. After all the Resignation Day(s) festivities I thought I would proffer another round of rhyme. Feel free to sing along.

Ed Venture, Editor

He’s a what? He’s a what? He’s a m(ake yo)usic(k) man. He’s a con. He’s a huckster. He’s a fraud and a nasty little child. He has come to town promising this and promising that. He’s gonna make America great again. Believe him. He has a very good brain. He has the best words, though he is clearly keeping those to himself. He (says he) is very rich. He will make us tired of winning. We’ve seen his kind before, just not as a presidential candidate, and we’ve seen some real doozies in that role.

“Professor” Harold Hill peddles piffle à la Chrump

We take you now to River City where…

Well, either you're closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge

Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a fool candidate in your country.

Well, ya got trouble, my friend.

Right here, I say, trouble right here in River City.

Why, sure, I'm a serious voter, certainly mighty proud to say

I'm always mighty proud to say it.

I consider that the minutes I spend

With a ballot in my hand are golden.

Help you cultivate horse sense, and a cool head and a keen eye.

J'ever take and try to give an iron-clad leave to yourself

From a president election ballot?

But just as I say it takes judgment, brains, and maturity

To score in a politics game, I say that any boob can take and shove a lever, cast a ballot.

And I call that voting.

With a capital "V,"

And that rhymes with "C" and that stands for Chrump!

The first big step on the road to the depths of degrada--

I say, first a primary vote for an Orange Buffoon,

Then he wins a nomination!

And the next thing ya know

You’re votin' for a monkey in a pinch back suit.

And orange colored face and orange hair

Hearin' him tell about Mexican rapists.

And buildin’ a wall, and changin’ his mind about ev’ry 30 seconds

Lyin’ like a rug through his bleached-white teeth!

And his sphincter-lookin’ mouth

Settin' on women, black folks people with IQs? Make your blood boil?

Well, I should say.

Now, friends, lemme tell you what I mean.

Ya got thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

Candidates in a primary.

Turkeys that erase the difference

Between a gentlemen and a bum.

With a capital "B,"

And that rhymes with "C" and that stands for Chrump!

And all year long

American will be fritterin' away,

I say you will be fritterin'.

Fritterin' and frettin’ for a year and a half and a week and a day.

Get that chump in the White House,

Ya got trouble!

Folks!

Right here in River City!

Trouble with a capital "T"

And that rhymes with "C"

And that stands for Chrump.

“Candidate” Donald Chrump – defecating
out of the wrong end of the tube

Now, I know all you folks are the right kind of people.

I'm gonna be perfectly frank.

Would ya like to know

What kinda conversation goes on

While they're loafin' around that Chrump rally?

They'll be tryin' out racism, fascism, science denial

Chrouble!

 

Bonus stuff

From the mind of Ken Nordine in 1957...

and 1958...

 

How are things in your town?