Schadenfreude For The Day

I Pity The Fool*

January 27, 2023

Reporter: Let me ask you, as we sit here in your home office in Indiana. Did you take any classified documents with you from the White House?

Mike Pence: [Looking as always, like he is about to lie, and nodding his head] Uh, I, I did not. (Note to self, nodding of the head customarily signifies the affirmative.)

Reporter: Do you see any reason for anyone to take classified documents with them, leaving the White House?

Mike Pence: Well, there'd be no reason to have classified documents, particularly if they were in an unprotected area. [precisely where Pence's classified documents were found when he had his lawyer – supposedly for no particular reason – search the Pence residence for classified documents, as of course we all do...when we suddenly “remember” – months or years later – that we have in fact taken classified documents from the White House and stored them in unprotected areas in our homes.]

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*Not really, it’s just something you say.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schadenfreude For The Day.

Question For The Day

January 26, 2023

Today's question is:

Who wakes up one morning and thinks, “Hmm, I think I should call my attorney and have him search my house(s) for classified documents.”?

I'm not sure about a lot of things, but I'm certain I've never thought to have a lawyer search my home or office to find stuff.

Although, apparently there are classified document just about everywhere.

I’m calling my lawyer just in case.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Debt To America

House of Preventatives

January 20, 2023

It’s all suddenly clear.

There is a perfectly sensible reason why the Ratpublican Party latched onto disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump (before he was a disgraced, twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president, though they still cling like dingleberries to his ill-fitting pant leg) like a starving tick. Both Trump and Ratpublicans have the same way of handling their finances, in particular, debt. There is only a slight difference. I’ll get to that in a minute. Ratpublicans repeatedly threaten to default on the federal debt ceiling. No country in its right mind even has a non-risk-free debt ceiling that has to be voted on regularly, or ever for that matter.

Passing the debt ceiling used to be almost as ceremonial an occasion as the vice president certifying the Electoral College (something else no country in its right mind has) after a presidential election. Oops.

Angry little shits currently in charge of the House of Preventatives

The American debt ceiling is in reality a mythical creature, but Ratpublicans love to use it to hold America hostage while they throw a tantrum trying to get their way (which always involves damaging the lives of everyday Americans while enriching the lives of the overly enriched). In the words of White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, “Congressional Republicans are threatening to hold the nation’s full faith and credit – a mandate of the Constitution – hostage to their demands to cut Social Security, to cut Medicare and to cut Medicaid.” Very fine people.

Ratpublicans predictably ignore the debt ceiling (and pretty much everything else) when one of their own rides the Electoral College or the Supreme Court into the White House. As soon as the people’s voices are actually heard and a Democrat is president, the debt ceiling suddenly becomes more interesting than Benghazi, Hillary’s emails, imaginary voter fraud, critical race theory, and Hunter Biden’s laptop in drag.

Benghazi, Hillary’s emails, imaginary voter fraud, critical

race theory, and Hunter Biden’s laptop in drag…

Oops, that’s actually “George Santos”* in 2008

Or is it JuPaul?

The debt ceiling is simply about paying debts already incurred. Not paying those debts makes a country look like a douchebag deadbeat. Sound like anyone you know?

For his part, prospective 2024 presidential candidate Trump has been breaking with Ratpublican orthodoxy. Trump has been promising not to make any cuts to Medicaid, Medicare or Social Security. Lest we forget, Donald Trump is a shameless, inveterate, pathological liar. Who apparently cannot tell the difference between a photo of one of his rape victims from one of his marriage victims.

As everyone knows, Trump, while not technically holding anyone hostage (that we know of), is well known for not paying for services that have already been rendered. I venture to guess that whatever money he does actually have is mostly a result of him not paying thousands of people over the decades.

Debt to America!

The only real difference, as mentioned above, is that Trump has repeatedly declared bankruptcy, which in some ways serves the same function of writing off debt. In fact, Trump has said out loud, in public, “I'm the king of debt. I'm great with debt. Nobody knows debt better than me.” No one that is, except anyone who has ever done work for him and expected to get paid. However, if the Federal Government ever declared bankruptcy, the world economy would likely collapse.

If you don’t believe me, just re-elect Donald Trump in 2024 and we will all find out very quickly. And very powerfully. Believe me.

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*Probably not his real name.

I. Mangrey reporting. Just callin’ ‘em the way I see ‘em.

Fraught For The Day

Do I Smell Schmuck?

January 13, 2023

Naturally, all Ratpublicans are interested in are things like helping extremely rich people keep their money out of the government’s hands, investigating anything that is not them, getting revenge (see yesterday’s post) for everything and anything, real or imagined, and cutting funding for anything that might benefit society at large.

New predictions promise that the climate crisis will cost California alone $1billion. extreme weather, made more extreme by the climate crisis cost the U.S. $165 billion in 2022. Raise your hand if you think it can’t get any worse than that.

The 118^th Revenge Porn Congress – who as we speak are desperately trying to get their filthy little hands on Hunter Biden’s dick…pics – will not give a frying fuck about this because they will simply vote not to fund any emergency clean-ups. Especially in California.

Any fucking questions?

Apparently, It Can (And Always Will) Get Worse

Meanwhile, Sean Hannity was broadcasting from the Rayburn Reception Room at the U.S. Capitol the other day. Will he be a permanent fixture at the Capitol to better catapult the propaganda? The guests for his first show from the Capitol included Kevin McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Steve Scalise and some other schmuck I never heard of, who I’m sure I’ll be hearing too much of very shortly. I definitely picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue.

Hannity in da house.

No, seriously, Sean Hannity is in the fucking House.
Of Representatives. Call pest control.*

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*Ruth Ben-Ghiat is an expert on authoritarian regimes around the world

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

Thought For The Day

Repercussions Discussion

January 12, 2023

Taking a brief, not particularly scenic detour from the most immediate horror that is the newly triple-flip-double-twisting summersault breech-birthed Ratpublican House majority, ponder this...

Nine is not enough

Many politicians, political pundits and regular folks just like you worry that if Democrats do things like expand the Extreme Court* or impeach insurrection colluder’s husband Clarence Thomas or fuck with the filibuster, or basically do anything they don’t like, Ratpublicans will someday exact revenge by doing something horrible.

Worse than what they have already done?

You mean like nominate, enable, protect and defend a sociopathic, narcissistic life-long conman, sexual harasser and racist? You mean like stealing two Supreme Court seats and installing lying, fascist theocrats who promised to overturn 50 years of rights and precedent? Alito, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Coney-Barrett all lied to Congress about how they would deal with attempts to overturn half a century of decided law that is (was) Roe v. Wade. At least Clarence Thomas only lied about sexually harassing Anita Hill during his nomination hearing; although now he appears to be up to at least his wife’s eyeballs in the attempt to overthrow American democracy.

Taxed To The Max

The latest completely legal, previously uncontroversial act carried out by those dangerous Democrats was the years-in-the-making release of Donald Trump’s fake tax returns. Wresting the returns from Trump’s IRS – headed up by a loyal Trump cult member – was more difficult than pulling teeth with chopsticks. Naturally, this typically unquestioned tradition (ever since Nixon released his taxes in order to assure the American public that “their president is not a crook”) of allowing the American people to see the finances of their public servants, raised the hair-trigger hackles of Ratpublicans everywhere.

Richard Nixon telling the American people he is “not a crook” while

trying to keep himself from strangling himself ala Dr. Strangelove

It has been customary since Nixon’s ruinous reign for presidential candidates to release several years of tax returns as opposed to having them lie to our faces about being under perpetual audit, despite them never being under audit, which has no bearing on the issue either way. Then again, the 45^th president was the first one whose primary occupation prior to running for office was conman/criminal/tax cheat.

Since Nixon, it has been mandatory for the IRS to audit the taxes of sitting presidents every year they are in office, mainly to help promote public confidence. To which Trump told America, “Go fuck yourselves. I didn’t get rich by paying a bunch of taxes like the rest of you yahoos out there. My damn taxes are nobody’s business but mine…well, me and my convicted felon CFO Alan Weisselberg. And by the way, anything bad they say my company did, it was that Jew Weisselberg, not me. I’ve done nothing wrong ever in my life. Believe me. Just be thankful I have blessed you by allowing you to have me as your amazing president, which I still am even though Hunter Biden’s dad Sleepy Joe is living in my White House at the moment. But don’t worry, we will be having a do over very soon and your favorite president of all time, me, will once again become the 45^th president. History books will never show there was a 46^th president. We will be skipping right to 47 if I decide to step aside at some point. But don’t hold your breath.”

As with everything Trump, we have had to deal with the redefining of words such as customary, mandatory, reality and fact, among many others.

MAGA Congressman and new chairman of the Ways and Means Committee Kevin Brady (R-TX) levelled the typical threats to which we have become so accustomed from decimal-pointed IQ Ratpublicans

Going forward, all future Chairs of both the House Ways and Means Committee and the Senate Finance Committee will have nearly unlimited power to target and make public the tax returns of private citizens, political enemies, business and labor leaders or even the Supreme Court justices themselves. Democrats will come to regret it.

Thanks for that, fuckhead. Like you haven’t been using the IRS to go after people every chance you got for years. Try fighting for democracy for a change, or maybe just your constituents – the ones who foolishly vote for you, not the ones who bankroll you. Maybe take a break from obsessing over Hunter Biden’s laptop, and Hillary’s emails, and Obama. And go and change your diaper, it’s beginning to stink.

Speaking of empty threats and empty heads, Trump himself weighed in on the public release of his shady tax returns

The Democrats should have never done it, the Supreme Court should have never approved it, and it's going to lead to horrible things for so many people.

Fortunately, most of those people either will be named Trump, or have been lying down with Trumps long enough to wake up indictments.

It's Their Fucking Brand

Even if they could do worse than what they have been doing for decades, there is simply no point in worrying about them doing it. Ratpublicans will always do the worst possible thing their lizard brains can think of at any given moment. It matters not whether Dems piss them off or kiss their collective ass. They will always play the victim, embrace hatred, ignorance and greed, and do worse than actual humans would ever imagine. Ratpublicans can never be bested at being the worst.

In any event, now that Ratpublicans have finally managed to take the gavel from Nancy Pelosi, we should expect the worst, the dumbest, the most useless Congress we have ever witnessed to waste valuable time and oxygen in their unending quest to bitch-slap democracy for at least the next two years.

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* In a recent Marquette Law School poll, 51% of respondents said they either strongly or somewhat favored increasing the number of justices on the Supreme Court, versus 49% who were strongly or somewhat opposed. Expansion was supported by 51% of independents and 72% of Democrats. It was favored by only 27% of Republicans. Go figure. Go fuck themselves.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Your Moment of Mystal

Elie Mystal makes Twitter briefly worthwhile

Thought For The Night

It's Not A House, It’s A Home*

January 9, 2023

After the number of rounds in a championship heavyweight boxing match – including one round that almost became a boxing match – the spectacularly dimwitted, soulless and dickless Kevin McCarthy became the soon-to-be-shortest-serving-ever Speaker of the House. And a great cheer went up from almost no one.

Kevin McCarthy finally gets what he always wanted,

though he has no idea what to do with it

The New McCarthyism

Like George WTF Bush, who wanted to be president in the worst way, and succeeded beyond anyone’s nightmares, McCarthy’s quest to lead the House promises to be equally scarring on the body politic, if not the actual bodies of countless Americans. Like Bush, Jr. McCarthy desperately wanted the job much more than actually doing it, and like Bush has neither clue nor capacity.

Be afraid, be very afraid

It is unclear how many dead congressmen voted for McCarthy. I'm sure chairman of the Judiciary Committee, Jim Jordan will get to the bottom of this via endless hearings just as soon as they clear up Hunter Biden's emails...I mean Benghazi...I mean laptop.

The Coup Congress

McQarthy promises to be historically ineffectual, but those who allowed him to have his day will surely do their best to inflict considerable damage to things like the environment, national intelligence (however you care to interpret that), women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, voting rights, Medicare, Social Security and the global economy, to name just a few. Those Ratpublicans who were most responsible for dragging McQuarthy through the mud of 15 votes, were the same ones who helped carry out, and still support the Trumpian insurrection.

The Coup-koo’s Nest planning our demise

Not included in that group was newly minted, and man of mystery (i.e., endless lies about his life) George Santos, who did his part by flashing a white power sign while casting at least one vote for McQarthy.

George Santos (if that really is his name)

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* for the intellectually bankrupt, morally bereft and criminally insane

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Night.

BONUS PAIN

Broken News

And On The 15^th Round A Speaker Was “Elected”

January 7, 2022

On the two-year anniversary of bringing disgrace on the Capitol (not to mention the Constitution and democracy), Ratpublicans could help but pile shame upon disgrace on our nation once again. Only one single Ratpublican bothered to show up as the nation honored law enforcement and election officials who stood up for democracy in the face of hand-to-hand combat, slander, libel and death threats. Ratpublicans were much too busy showing America and the world that they are stunningly unfit to wield any power in any nation larger (or more real) than the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

As if to flaunt their unquestionable anti-democratic bona fides, Ratpublicans couldn't even have a clean election among themselves. The party of gerrymandering districts into oblivion, the party of perpetual racist voter disenfranchisement, the party who cannot win the presidency via the popular vote, and the only party in our nation’s history to need the Supreme Court to step and stop the vote count before appointing the 44^th president after all other means of stealing the election failed. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you today’s Ratfuckingpublican Party.

Chicken Kev

Ratpublicans finally managed to install their very own Speaker of the House in the wee wee hours of the fifth day of a political circus the likes of which we have not seen since before the Civil War (which they intend to resurrect). This was only after a fellow Ratpublican had to be physically restrained after appearing to lunge at Matt Gaetz, but to be fair, who among us hasn’t fantasized about taking a swing or ten at Matt Gaetz on any given day.

Rep. Katie Porter (D-CA) found a way to pass the time

Ratpublicans could not even manage to give their new “leader” an actual majority. It took a procedural loophole to drag Kevin McCarthy – battered, bloodied, and now toothless – across the finish line. This is why we can't have nice things. It must be admitted however, that it takes a particular set of skills to simultaneously win and lose an election.

A few months ago McCarthy told a gathering, “I want you to watch Nancy Pelosi hand me that gavel. It will be hard not to hit her with it.” Thankfully, McCarthy uttered this gem before Pelosi’s husband was almost bludgeoned to death with a hammer by a fairly typical Trump supporter. If McCarthy tries anything, Pelosi will punch him in the face, she will go to jail, and she will be happy.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy thoughts.

Second Thought For The Day

Cloudy With A Chance Of Hail (Of Bullets)

January 6, 2023

The last guy nearly ruined this place,
he didn’t know what to do with it.
If you think this country’s bad off now,
just wait ‘til I get through with it.
                       Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding*

As you are all too well aware, the Ratpublican Clown Caucus now has a majority in the House. They have now completed four stupid days and thirteen idiotic votes (the greatest number of futile attempts since 1858) and Keving McCarthy finally leads Democrat Hakeem Jeffries in the vote count. Jeffries only needs six Ratpublicans to realize that their party is riddled with rubes who can barely tie their own shoes let alone govern a huge, diverse nation. McCarthy now only needs four votes to begin his doomed speakership. On Stupid Day Three one of these knuckleheads actually nominated the head insurrectionist from two years ago today – Donald Trump, the guy who wants (wanted?) Kevin McCarthy to be Speaker – to be the next Speaker of the House.

It's Not My Party And I’ll Cry If I Want To

The party that is insanity personified continues to do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again, dimly expecting a different result. To quote Forrest Gump's mama , “Stupid is as stupid does.” She never imagined this.

Partners/opponents Trump and McCarthy have a meeting of the “minds”

Though they remain unable to carry out what should be the easiest task they will ever face – electing one mental defective among them to be Speaker of the House – they did manage to have the metal detectors (not to be confused with mental detectors) removed from the Capitol. You remember the Capitol – the place these same Ratpublicans attempted to take by force in order to overthrow the government they now claim to work in. The metal detectors were put in place in response to the attempted coup two years ago today.

So now, presumably these hair-brained, hair-triggered numbskulls in the Ratpublican carcass…I mean caucus can walk around the Capitol packing heat in order to protect themselves from themselves. What could possibly go wrong? Maybe they need some Second Amendment solutions to settle their pathetic attempt to choose a leader.

Capitol building metal detector – notice hand sanitizer dispenser,

which will likely be removed because sanitizer dissolves freedom

Lord Of The Fleas

Congresschild Lauren Boebert (R-CO), who has inquired about carrying guns into the Capitol, said that Republicans were turning the House chamber back "into the people's House" by removing the scanners.

Boebert recently had to shutter her gun-themed Shooters Grill in (not making this up) Rifle, Colorado, which is scheduled to become a Mexican restaurant.

Rep. Boebert seen here desperately trying to remember

her name and where she safely stored her guns

Who knows, maybe something good will come out of this. Can you say Steve Scalise?

For the record, it is uncertain whether the House of Representatives can even be said to exist at the moment since no one can be sworn in, nor any work done until a Speaker has been elected. Except apparently for having metal detectors removed. If only they had used their powers to remove the mental defectives. Once again Ratpublicans prove that government doesn’t work…when they have the majority.

Never forget, this is the party that brought you Donald Trump.

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* Also the slogan of wannabe Speaker Kevin McCarthy and the raison d'être of Ratpublicans

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?                                                                                

                                                                              

                      

Thought For The Day (Which Will Live In Infamy)

Death Be Not Loud

January 6, 2023

At the behest of then (GULP!) president Donald Trump, crazed insurrectionists laid siege to the Capitol two years ago today. The crazed mob attacked law enforcement with bear spray, clubs, fire extinguishers and tasers. They beat officers with American flags and Trump flags. They were hell-bent on hanging Mike Pence, Nancy Pelosi, and perhaps all Democrats. They broke doors and windows, stole private and government property. Confederate flags were paraded through the Capitol. They literally shit on the halls of Congress.

Today, January 6 is a day that will live in infamy, no less than December 7. Remember, the Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor were also proud of what they accomplished. The bombing of Pearl Harbor was merely an opening salvo to a conflagration, like the bombardment of Fort Sumter, the attack on 9/11 and more recently, Donald Trump’s attempted coup on January 6. Another date which will live in infamy.

Trump and his cult followers are proud of what they perpetrated on this nation. They believe that they are patriots. They call themselves political prisoners. Perhaps prisoners of war would be more apt.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

Schmuck Of The Day

Ratpublicans vs. Voting

January 3, 2022

In a historic day – think Waterloo, Titanic, Hindenburg – the new wafer-thin majority of House Ratpublicans voted for their choice to be the next Speaker of the House. Voting is clearly not a Ratpublican strong suit.

A Louse Divided

Prohibitive (prohibited?) favorite – at least in his own “mind” – Kevin McCarthy, who had already moved his stuff into the Speaker’s office did not see his big day go the way he had hoped. Sniveling punk-ass-bitch McCarthy lost three votes (so far) in his Quixotic quest to become Speaker. This is the first time in a century that a speaker was not elected on the first ballot. 

As of now, with Congress in recess – perhaps more accurately, time-out – McCarthy remains in second place. Wanna know who is currently in the lead? That would be newly-minted leader of the Democratic caucus Hakeem Jeffries, who was unanimously chosen for Nancy Pelosi’s old job.

Two McCarthys: Charlie and real dummy Kevin 

Obviously, there is no real chance that Jeffries will get the necessary 218 votes to become the next speaker, but the current vote count is:

Hakeem Jeffries: 212
Kevin McCarthy: 202
Jim Jordan: 20

More exciting votes tomorrow.

Co-Schmuck Of The Day

Pugnacious pinhead Jordan has been attempting to persuade his supporters to move into the McCarthy camp. So far, Jordan has gained more votes for himself with each recount – kind of reminds me of all the recounts Ratpublicans attempted while trying to steal the 2020 election for fellow douchebag Donald Trump.

Jordan hasn’t been this dedicated to a colleague (with the possible exception of the aforementioned Trump) since his time as Ohio State wrestling coach. Jordan looked the other way when wrestlers begged him to step in because team doctor Richard Strauss was engaged in sexually abusing a number of wrestlers. Several victims have gone on record claiming that Jordan, among others, knew full well what Strauss was up to – a fact Jordan hopes to take with him to the grave. With any luck, it eats away at him every single day. That of course, futilely presumes the presence of a conscience.

Jordan has consistently invoked the Sgt. Schultz Amendment:

I refuse to comment because I know nothing, nothing!*

For the record, an independent report commissioned by the university concluded in 2019 that Strauss “sexually abused at least 177 male student-patients” between 1979 and 1998. The report stated that 22 coaches – unnamed in the report – said they were aware of rumors or complaints about Strauss.

A number of lawsuits have been filed against OSU over allegations related to Strauss. On Friday, OSU announced that it reached a monetary settlement with Strauss’ victims in 11 out of 18 pending cases. The doctor died by suicide in 2005. Jordan was not nearly so thoughtful.

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*Naturally, this is the only honest or useful thing Jordan has ever uttered; well, it would have been if he had actually said it.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck(s) Of The Day. Schmuck you both.

This Just (Soon To Be) In

Leftover Predictions In Brief

January 1, 2023

Any holiday worth its salt involves leftovers. Our deep-seated sense of food insecurity goes back to the beginning of eating. While it is true that we at Paying Attention™ have never provided actual alimentary sustenance, we do hopefully provide food for thought via the potluck that is the internet.

January 2, 2023

Mr. Smith Comes To Washington

Special Prosecutor Jack Smith – if looks could convict

Fresh off his stint prosecuting some of the biggest assholes on Earth at The Hague, there is new hope that Jack Smith is the guy who will finally make Trump pay for his sins. Well, at least one of them. Hopefully. Certainly a chicken unworthy of being counted at this juncture. Sorry, not really much of a prediction.

Living Color – Cult of Personality

April 22, 2023

A Crisis Of Unconscious

With the climate crisis reaching new levels of WTF, most Earth Day events were cancelled. Some due to raging infernos, some due to catastrophic flooding or blizzards. Others were simply abandoned by people tired of banging their heads against brain-dead Ratpublicans’ Category 6 stupidity. “What’s the use of trying anymore?” asked one onlooker who refused to give his name, but claimed to have once been a U.S. senator and then vice president and victim of the most stolen election of all time. He continued, “There is an even more inconvenient truth out there, and that is the fact that there are just too many ignorant slobs out there, who think science is a hoax, who believe having a greater-than-single-digit IQ means you’re a threat.”

Todd Rundgren – Down With The Ship

June 19, 2023

George Santos – Quintessential Ratpublican

Having refused to step down after every single thing he ever said was a lie, George Santos (R-NY), claiming his lying was a hoax wrapped in a witch-hunt, drenched in a who-gives-a-fuck, is heralded by ersatz presidential candidate Donald Trump as his running mate for 2024. “George knows how to handle himself under pressure. I mean, how great is this guy. He’s black, he’s Jew-ish, he graduated from every college, worked for the biggest companies, and all of it off the books so no one even knows. Suddenly came into a ton of money with no sign of having done anything to earn it. Possibly in bed with Russian oligarchs. What’s not to love about this guy? Not everyone has the ability to lie so easily, so completely. That’s something I can respect and I want a guy like that by my side. I don’t think I’ll be exhorting my people to hang George Santos…anytime soon.”

My name is “George Santos” and I was “killed” in the “Holocaust”

Todd Rundgren – STFU

August 25, 2023

Doing The (Over)Lord’s Work

We are all familiar with the Fifth Amendment, which grants Americans the right against giving testimony that might tend to incriminate themselves. In an emergency session, one which somehow managed to exclude three of the women on the Court, a case that did not even exist was taken up by six justices. Suddenly, America had bestowed upon it – like it or not – a new amendment: The Fifth-And-A-Half Amendment.

Denying the rumors that this new amendment arose as a result of Ginni Thomas – the even dumber and whiter spouse of Clarence – Samuel Alito, speaking on condition of anonymity, told a room full of elderly white men who will never be asked for voter ID

“This amendment has nothing to do with Ginni Thomas. America has long needed protection from the law for various reasons. In this case, it is the right to get off scot-free if you are just too darn stupid to remember anything that might be inconvenient. But rest assured, this has nothing to do with Ginni Thomas being unable to remember her conversations with her “best friend” during one of the most critical, emotional and mind-numbingly stupid moments in her life. It’s just a coincidence – like us overturning Roe v. Wade after most of us testifying in public, under oath that we would never seek to interfere with settled law. Everyone knew we were full of shit. Except Susan Collins, bless her little heart and smaller brain.”

Aretha Franklin And The Eurythmics - Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves

October 31, 2023

Daddy Issues

He doesn’t look at Kari the way he looks at Ivanka, but she’ll do
(whatever Donny wants)

Donald Trump announces that, “Since Ivanka has decided to stay out of politics this time around, I am announcing that I have adopted the beautiful and talented sociopath Kari Lake as my daughter. Hopefully, this makes it safer to date someone, even if she is my daughter. When you’re a star they let you do it. Depending on how this dating thing works out, I may have to rethink my choice of Santos as my running mate. And I definitely won’t be dating him, even though he is not may daughter…no matter what he claims.”

Mothers of Invention — Brown Shoes Don’t Make It

I think that pretty much covers it, but we will let you know if anything else reveals itself.

I. Mangrey recuperating.