Hero Of The Day

It’s A Bird (A Very Large Bird), It’s A Building, It’s FetterMan!!

September 24, 2023

More powerful than a filibuster. Able to leap mental munchkins in a single bound. Faster than a fucking fascist. He is part man, part mountain. Part senator from Pennsylvania, all progressive. And an unrivaled troll of idiot Ratpublicans, who are apoplectic about the way he dresses. He is FetterMan.

Big John appears to be well over his stroke and subsequent bout with depression. Lately, he has been trolling the assholes across the aisle at every opportunity, and there has been a veritable cornucopia of those to snack on.

First, Fetterman called the impending faux impeachment of Joe Biden “a circle jerk,” then after McQarthy publicly announced the “impeachment inquiry” required of him to keep his gavel, Fetterman feigned shock and horror before bursting into laughter.

“Oh my gosh, you know, oh, it’s devastating.”

“Oooo, don't do it. Please don't do it! Oh, no! Oh, no!”

It’s kind of funny – like cancer is funny – the Fascist Party has their hair on fire because the junior senator from Pennsylvania has abandoned tradition with his sartorial choices, while the leader of their party ditched tradition by inciting an insurrection, threatening retribution against his political enemies and the termination of the Constitution, and lying more often than he breathes. Not to mention the host of mental defectives who dress well, but couldn’t think their way out of a paper bag.

National Lampoon - Deteriorata

Thanks to a directive from Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, the Senate no longer has a business attire dress code, paving the way for Fetterman to dress any way he fucking pleases. Sen. Susan Collins (R-Who-Gives-A-Fuck) said the new dress code erodes the “certain dignity” of the Senate and “debases the institution.” Look who’s fucking talking – the woman who makes the so-called world's ‘greatest deliberative body’ look like the world’s most dimwitted bozos (that’s not entirely fair – let’s not forget Tommy Tuberville – if he’s allowed to have that name, Fetterman can dress however he wants, Ron Johnson, John Kennedy, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham – need I go on?).

“If those jagoffs in the House stop trying to shut our government down, and fully support Ukraine, then I will save democracy by wearing a suit on the Senate floor next week.”
                       Sen. John Fetterman, September 18, 2023

Some of these so-called lawmakers are bent on impeaching Joe Biden because he is not Donald Trump. I’m pretty sure that is not how impeachment works.

These are the same people who are “investigating” Hunter Biden for making money on the back of his father’s name, while ignoring Jared Kushner walking away from his White House post with some $2B in Saudi blood money. The same people who fight tooth-and-nail for the rights of terrorists and mentally ill people (like Hunter Biden) to own assault weapons, and the right of kids to carry out mass shootings in schools (and every other fucking place) but are going apeshit over dismal drug addict Hunter Biden illegally buying a handgun and throwing it in a dumpster.

While Fetterman undoubtedly ignores the “dress code” in the Senate, the Fascist Party clearly ignores the brain code, the democracy code and the patriot code. So fuck them.

FetterMan – dressed to the ones and towering physically

and mentally over his colleagues across the aisle

This has been your Paying Attention™ Hero Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

Go FetterMan! Go Birds!