Praying Attention™ - Donald H. Christ

Donald Lied For Your Sins

March 31, 2024

“I'm a very proud Christian, actually.”
     Donald Trump

“Bull fucking shit, actually.”
Ed Venture

Professional conman Donald H. Christ…I mean Trump continues to beguile many Christians in his latest attempt to remake America (and God) in his image. Of course, many of these Klan-members-in-Christ’s-clothing are more than happy to be guiled in order to get their way. Trump is claiming to be a “Christian warrior” who will make certain that if he reclaims the White House, “no one will be touching the cross of Christ.” This from someone who has never seen the inside of a Bible despite now being an unraveling “Bible” salesman, hawking a special edition designed to fleece his flock and fill his own pockets. Trump is the guy who would put the money lenders in charge of the Church. Oh wait, they already are.

Nice work up there

Like Jesus, Trump is fond of being a selfish, greedy SOB, grabbing women by the pussy, lying every time he opens his mouth, stealing money from his followers (and anyone else who happens to have anything to do with him), cheating on all of his wives, threatening to kill or have others kill for him, and putting himself above God. I am not a Christian, so I might be wrong about Jesus doing all these things that Trump absolutely did. So, if that’s true why is Trump treated like the new Jesus? Is it because he once said, “I am the chosen one?” Is it because some dumbass said that Israelis love Trump “like he’s the King of Israel. They love him like he is the second coming of God” and Trump retweeted it?

Keep trying. You fuckers ain’t got a prayer. Try an exorcist.

If Jesus did not behave like this, I have to wonder why so many self-described devout followers of his have hitched their asses to the most irreligious, conniving, rapey, hateful pig they could find. Trump has never seen the inside of a church other than, one assumes, his three weddings, which for all we know might have been held on golf courses. He clearly believes that any religion not based on him is for suckers.

Trump is a self-made martyr; he reminds us of this every time he opens his face sphincter, although most actual martyrs are not rapists, thieves, conmen, and godless narcissists. Just sayin’.

Donald H. Christ:

He’s not a messiah; he’s a very naughty boy.

Not only is Trump not the Messiah, he is in fact a double-reverse Jesus. Whereas it is said that Jesus died for other people’s sins, countless people have already died for Trump’s sins, with many more to come should he not disappear from the public sphere very, very soon. Let us pray.

He’s such a good Christian, possibly the best one ever

An Oldie, But A Great-y

God is dead. Trump still lives. Go figure.

I. Mangrey regretting.

Paying Attention™ Book Club

A Special Promise For This Holiday Season

No Need To Thank Us

March 30, 2024

“When fascism comes to America, it will be
wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross.”
attributed to Sinclair Lewis

I am obviously not cool enough to even think about wearing Trump’s new golden sneakers. I wouldn’t even care when they fell apart after wearing them for a few hours. I would have treasured those few moments, watching people point and stare and laugh.

I have to admit however, that I’m very excited about Trump’ astonishing new God Bless The USA Bible. Surely there is nothing like it, and with good reason. After all, who could match Trump’s sense of style and taste? No one, that’s who, except maybe that My Pillow guy. He is also special.

Because I am a real patriot, I am not going to buy just one copy, I’m not going to buy 100 copies. I am looking forward to not sending them out as presents and/or hate mail. Everyone reading this can expect to not receive one of these fake bibles in the near future and for all time. Surely, all of you are yearning to not have your very own copy. Not having this special tome right beside you, under your very own roof, will make your home that much more inviting to friends and family, and most strangers.

This “Bible” is a limited edition, so we are planning to not get them immediately so that you will be able to not get yours from us as quickly as possible. And for a select few out there, we will not be sending you one a month for one whole year. One lucky reader will also not be getting a first edition copy of Donald Trump’s masterpiece (written in its entirety by Tony Schwartz, who now regrets ever having written it, and donates all profits to charities despised by Trump).

“I don’t know if Donald read every word in The Art of The Deal,
but I know that I wrote every word in it.”
Tony Schwartz, actual author of The Art of The Deal

As far as we know, Paying Attention™ is the only blog making this promise: you will never be getting one or more copies of the Donald Trump-endorsed “Bible” from us. Guaranteed. Or your money back.

You are very welcome.

From everyone here at Paying Attention™

Thought For The Day – A Pause In The Disaster (Sort Of)

Premium (Dis)Content

March 29, 2024

How interesting. Insurance companies are getting squeamish about insuring homes in the face of the slowly-burgeoning mushroom cloud that is Climate Crisis. They don’t want to insure people who are likely to need insurance the most. It seems these cash cows are much less interested in protecting us from disasters than they are about collecting our premiums. This is, after all, their forte if not their entire raison d'être. Paying claims is something they only do under extreme duress, that is, when they can’t manage to shirk this unwanted aspect of their job description.

These greedy, parasitic corporations…I mean, people are already abandoning Florida and California. And if you live somewhere else that has weather and/or is subject to climate, you will be next. It is becoming exceedingly clear that this is not a matter of if, but when.

To paraphrase The Who, I hope I die before I get fucked over.

Remember, insurance companies really care about you (paying your monthly premium on time).

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

The Fooler Bible Saleman

Introducing The God Bless The USA Bible

March 28, 2024

Disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president and proud rapist P.T. Barnum…I mean Donald Bloodbath Trump continues to find ways to fleece his feckless flock. The Goliath of grifting has teamed up with uber/faux patriot Lee Greenwood to dangle before the weak-minded among us an irresistible shiny object designed to extract money from those with little to spare to their favorite make-believe billionaire.

Trump’s tagline for his latest shameless con is “We must make America pray again.” We’ve got news for you buddy, many people have been praying for years, but not for what you what you think?

Trump told the gullible yahoos who still listen to him that “All Americans need a Bible in their home and I have many.* It’s my favorite book.” He may or may not have added, “I often use the wonderfully thin pages as toilet paper, which has nothing to do with my need to flush 10 or 15 or sometimes 40 times. The pages also make good snacks. Sometimes, when I'm not busy throwing it against a wall, I put ketchup on them. They are also good with peanut butter, and if you're allergic to peanuts, the excellent Bible verses will keep you safe. If not, who cares, it’s God’s will. You will really love The Art of The Bible…or whatever we’re calling it. These Trump-endorsed Bibles are very affordable – only $59.99. If you can't afford to pay that much for a Bible, just send $59.99 directly to me and forget about the stupid Bible. What about me? Donald Trump. Aren't I worth $59.99 to you? Do you want to save America or have all your loved ones blown to bits by the radical Democrats, Marxists, fascists and woke losers? God bless the United Shates and Donald Trump.”

Trump’s absurd Bible also includes other great hits from the hand of God

* The U.S. Constitution

* The Bill of Rights

* The Declaration of Independence

* The Pledge of Allegiance

* Full-color photos of all of Trump’s absolutely legitimate golf trophies that he totally won at his own golf course

Huh?

Who talked him out of gold plating it…
and leaving off the swastika?

Bipolar much?

One reviewer touted this travesty as “The best literary remake since Henry Ford’s autographed and annotated Mein Kampf.” 

This is the only Bible endorsed by Donald Trump himself. Unfortunately, it is also the only Bible not endorsed by God.

God weighs in, going right at professional conman and rapist Trump:

Sir, what the actual fuck? Why are the fucking Constitution, the Bill of Rights and other political documents in a Bible? Are you out of your fucking mind? You might as well have put The Best of Hustler in there. Neither one has anything to do with me. If anything, Hustler might be more appropriate since there was a naked woman in the Garden of Eden. This is utter bullshit, and I know bullshit when I see it – I invented bullshit for Christ’s sake. To quote Bill Cosby (my bad), “You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you.” Again, sorry about the whole Cosby thing, but nobody’s infallible. You hear that Pope dude? And dude, the fucking pages stick together. You even tell people to watch a YouTube video to learn how to “break in your Bible.” Since when do you need to break in a fucking Bible? What did you do, choke your chicken on each one? You are one sick fuck. And from now on, keep my name out of your fucking mouth. By the way, what’s with that fucking “hair?” I had absolutely nothing to do with that seriously fucked up shit.

Don’t miss out on this chance to not own a piece of shit history. Avoid buying your copy of this travesty against religion, democracy and humanity that only Donald Trump could put his name to today.

_______________________________________________
*It would be harder to find Trump’s many Bibles than it was to find Saddam Hussein’s WMD.

I. Mangrey remorsing.

Thought For The Day - One Word (And It's Not Plastics)

Let The Skating Begin

March 25, 2024

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!

It's good to be a rich, white male in the American judicial system.

As noted here previously, Trump is beating America. Bigly.

A five-judge panel of appellate court judges gives Trump an extra 10 days (beyond the 30 days Letitia James had already, very magnanimously given the lifelong criminal) to come up with much less bond money required to file his appeal in the New York civil fraud case. 

Like I said, Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!! Well, it was only a thought at first, but now I'm saying it Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Fascinating – Kill Pill

The Other Plan B

March 25, 2024

I find it interesting, nay fascinating that while the Extreme Court twiddles its thumbs, well at least those who have managed to briefly remove them and/or their heads from their asses, on the critical issue affecting all Americans, it found time to jump into the fray where most of the most extreme among them, being vagina-less, have no business sticking their noses, or anything else for that matter, or even grabbing said vaginas unless expressly invited to do so.

Five disgraceful men and one radical cult member woman
poised to fuck women the wrong way

While much of the nation fidgets on pins and needles wondering if the Six Sick Shitheads – three of whom were appointed by the ostensible defendant and should therefore, in deference to the Constitution, democracy and morality, recuse themselves – will decide that Donald Trump shall be granted absolute immunity for no other reason than having been (the absolute worst) president (in American history).

While these phony justices (most of whom lied under oath during their confirmation hearings) pretend to mull over what should be one of the most obvious decisions in the history of the Court, they are wasting no time addressing another issue that should be none of their fucking business – the legality of the morning-after pill, which is safe, effective and will spare millions of women from having to bear children they do not wish to bear. Maybe they are too young, maybe they have been raped, maybe they just don’t want to be pregnant. And maybe it’s nobody’s business but theirs.

To recap, the Court has no time to protect our democracy, but are in a hurry to ruin the lives of women more than they already have. If only the Constitution had been written on a fetus, maybe they would protect and defend it.

And that is all I have to say about that.

WTFF*

________________________________________________

*What The Fascinating Fuck 

Broken News - The Ticket To End All Tickets

Crass/Putin 2024 

March 24, 2024

Even if Putin can’t sneak $467 million past Trump’s court-appointed financial overseer to help Der Furor put up the bond for his doomed-to-fail appeal in the Getting-His-Fat-Ass-Handed-To-Him-By-Letitia-James New York civil fraud case, you know who Dumb Donald really wants his ruining mate to be.

Surely Donald wants his favorite person in the whole world – the man who is stronger and more powerful than all the rest, who runs his country with an iron fist (one much bigger than Trump’s baby hands), and who still has possession of the infamous “pee-pee tape” – none other than Russia, Russia, Russia’s Vladimir Putin, rumored to be the richest man in the world. This assumes of course that Trump even has time to campaign in between court appearances, and not having enough money to hold his Bund rallies.

Poor asshole.

Trump will continue to run despite being indicted on 88 counts (recently marked down from 91) in numerous jurisdictions because he needs to be president to avoid being a number – and I don’t mean as a secret agent man. And unfortunately, odds are he will live to see tomorrow.

Johnny Rivers – Secret Agent Man

And since his followers live in a world of “alternative facts,” Trump is able to wear his indictments as a crown of thorns. He will continue to run despite having to run (figuratively speaking) from courtroom to rally to courtroom to rally (assuming he can afford to hold any).

Trump shows up in court when there is no need for him to be there and blames the court for wasting his precious time. The only possible scenario – short of his untimely passing – (untimely in that it is long past time; had he passed away in 2015 it would have made things so much easier) that has even a chance of stopping Trump from running in 2024 is him ending up in solitary confinement - which after all, might be the only way for him to remain safe in prison. (Now that's about the happiest thought I've had in some time).

Once the Supreme Court finds that Trump has absolute immunity, he will not feel constrained by anything, so do not be surprised when he announces Putin as his running mate.

You can expect to hear the following statement from Trump shortly after the Court renders its entirely unconstitutional, anti-democratic decision.

“Just like I said I would have been able to run my business and be president at the same time, but was not allowed to because of some very stupid rules that I never should have followed – and frankly, I did not follow, because I know better – I have no doubt that the very strong and very powerful leader of the great nation of Russia will be able to continue his very excellent leadership there while serving as my vice president here. You will all be very proud of having such a great leader helping to tell me what to do. Believe me.”

Glowering Goons ‘r’ Us

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled court appearances.

Question For The Day – He’s Really Rich?

Trump: The World’s Poorest Rich Man

March 22, 2024

The deadline for Trump to cough up nearly half a billion dollars as bond (if Trump ever was a billionaire, he won’t be for long) – if he plans to appeal – or to cover the penalty put on him in the civil case he lost in New York State – if he gives up the ghost – is three days hence. If the world’s fakest billionaire doesn’t make good in one of these ways, the state of New York can begin the process of seizing Trump’s assets – raid his bank accounts, seize properties (like Trump Tower), exhume ex-wife Ivana’s golf-course-coffin to look for hidden cash (and stolen classified documents), search under all his couch cushions, and/or turn him upside-down and shake any cash out of his pockets.

Trump, who last year testified during a deposition that he easily had $450 million in cash, and that it was increasing by the minute, suddenly can't scratch up enough to cover the $450-plus million he will owe the state of New York after he loses his baseless appeal after being used to mop the floor by NY Attorney General Letitia James for bank fraud, tax fraud, etc. Apparently, Trump’s fake massive fortune is mostly monopoly money, which it turns out is not legal tender.

Not including more than $1000K/day interest and massive legal fees

For some odd reason no one wants to front him the money. Thirty bond companies have already turned down the self-described "king of debt." The man who bankrupted six casinos – you know the places where people flock for the express purpose of throwing leaving their money there. The man most of whose businesses either went bust or ended up being disbanded by lawsuits. I wonder why I don't wonder why no one wants to give or loan him large sums of money.

Hey, at least he still has his good looks

Don't be surprised though when one of the richest men in the world, who has been Trump's benefactor and idol, comes to the rescue and asks for nothing in return...I mean everything in return. That would be good old Vladimir Putin. Or maybe Jared Kushner’s buddy Mohammed bin Bonesaw Al Saud. Or will someone else step up to buy the number-two spot on Trump's ticket?

Oh, and did I mention that Trump’s loyal suckers are running out of money to send their billionaire savior? Or that many Ratpublican mega-donors are jumping ship and helping Joe Biden raise money?

So it looks like Deadbeat Donald will have to find new sources of funding.

Today's question is:

Did Trump mention he’s really rich?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.
With a side of schadenfreude.

Thought For The Day – Trump Skates

Cloudy With A Chance Of Blunderstorms

March 21, 2024

As you are well aware, we here at Paying Attention™ are nothing if not eternal optimists. Always looking on the blight bright side of life. Unfortunately, our serenely sunny dispositions are being sorely tested by current events.

I. Mangrey explains the sad state of affairs that has the entire staff here reaching for their Rent-A-Coma, or simply passing out where they sit...

Why I Worry And Can’t Be Happy
by I. Mangrey

There’s the perpetual ineptitude and lack of a sense of urgency displayed Merrick Garland’s Justice Department. The apparent unseriousness of the court system, especially judges like Trump-appointed (after he lost his re-election bid and stole at least 13,097 documents*) flagrantly pro-Trump Aileen Cannon who is doing everything in her grossly undeserved power as the judge in the Mor-on-Lago stolen documents case to protect her benefactor, aka The Fucking Defendant. She is working feverishly if absurdly to keep Trump not only out of jail, but out of her courtroom and back in the White House.

Cannon is likely getting more desperate now that the man referred to in Jack Smith’s classified documents indictment as “Trump Employee 5” has gone public. Long-time Mor-on-Lago employee Brian Butler, who worked for Trump for 20 years, is all over the TV describing how he (unknowingly) and others (knowingly or otherwise) loaded boxes Butler later was able to identify as boxes of classified documents onto Trump’s private jet to hide them from authorities just two months before the FBI ended up having to raid Mor-on-Lago because Trump refused to cooperate with the National Archives who requested Trump return stolen documents, many of which were classified.

Then there’s the idiotic Fani Willis who literally ran on not sleeping with co-workers and then slept with her co-worker who she also put in charge of Trump’s Fulton County, Georgia election interference case, which should have been a slam dunk and now risks fouling out before the game even starts. Add to this the monumental incompetence of the Southern District of New York dumping thousands of documents at the last minute, delaying yet another criminal case against Donny Fuckface. All of this is making it increasingly difficult to even put on a happy face, even just for show.

Almost everyone in Trump’s orbit – and I mean that literally (think large bodies and gravity) – is either in prison, soon to be in prison or got out of jail free thanks to a Trump pardon. Yet Trump itself continues to waddle among us, free to threaten, incite and figuratively (for now) torture.

Sorry to say, but these days, when I think about how all of Trump’s criminal trials are going to turn out, especially before Election Day, this is the picture that haunts my every waking moment:

Unfortunately, that does not appear to be thin ice beneath him

Put On A Happy Face - Dick Van Dyke & Janet Leigh

____________________________________________________________
*Based on recent revelations by Brian Butler, there are almost certainly more stolen documents hidden in at least one other Trump residence. When is the fucking Justice Department going to issue more search warrants for every single Trump property and Trump’s ex-wife Ivana’s coffin which he oddly has stored at his golf resort in Bedminster, NY. What’s in that coffin? Is Ivana even in there?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
We think so you don’t have to.

Broken News – Pence, Out!

Try To Kill Me Once, Shame On You...

March 19, 2024

Damaged Don’s gonna need a new ruining mate

It appears that Mike Pence no longer wishes to hang with his former fake best bud Trump. In a March 15^th interview on Fux News, Trump’s former running mate, VP, and intended murder victim Mike Pence told viewers “It should come as no surprise that I will not be endorsing Donald Trump this year.” Pence added, “I cannot in good conscience endorse Donald Trump in this campaign.”

I have a question. Where the fuck was uber-Christian Pence’s “good conscience” in 2016 when he decided it was okay to not only endorse, but stand beside and kiss the ass of the racist, pussy-grabbing, rapey conman who had no interest in God or country?

Don & Mike in happier times

Pence is also suddenly voicing his displeasure with Trump referring to the now-jailed mob who had set out at Trump’s behest to kill Pence not as criminals, but as “hostages.” Trump has made a cottage industry of lionizing these scum at every Bund rally on the campaign trail. Fortunately, practically every business Trump has put his name to has crashed, burned and/or filed for bankruptcy.

Mike Pence: too little, too limp, too late. Please fuck off. And go put on some clean undies.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled seizures.

Fun Fact For The Day – Seek High, Y’all

Red Hat = Brown Shirt
The Bloodbath Will Not Be Televised

March 18, 2024

“Now, if I don’t get elected it’s gonna be a bloodbath for the country.”
Donald “Death-To-America” Trump March 16, 2024

“But at least there will still be a democracy, the Constitution and a country.
And if you do get elected, it will be all bloodbath and no country.
Also, what the fuck isn’t wrong with you dude?”
Ed Venture, March 17, 2024

Everyone knows that Donald Trump loves him some dictators. Actually, he loves him all dictators. And assholes of any station. We know this because he just can’t shut the fuck up about it. He waxes psychotic about shitheads like Bolsonaro, Un, Putin, Xi – anyone who need not give a shit what their population thinks, wants or needs. Anyone who oversees the real stolen elections. Did I say ‘elections’? Just kidding.

Trump recently hosted asshole autocrat Viktor Orbán of Hungary (not Turkey as Trump stated a while back) at his roach-resort at Mor-on-Lago. Trump has described Orbán as “fantastic;” Trump might have meant 'fascist,' though to him these words are synonymous. 

At this very moment, Trump’s hand-picked family member now controls the purse strings at the Fascist/Trump Party’s national campaign committee. Trump chose his highly-unqualified, no-nothing daughter in-law, Lara. Lara is married to Trump’s non-Donald-named son. The son who Trump left out while reading the names of his family members from a note card at one of his recent Bund rallies. Maybe this was Trump’s way of making what’s-his-name feel a little better.

Turns out Trump is not limited to drooling over modern-day despots. Yet more evidence has emerged, via Gen. John Kelly who served as White House chief of staff from 2017 to 2019. According to Kelly Deranged Don told him, “Well, but Hitler did some good things.” We report – you tear your hair out.

Trump, who has repeatedly stated that he wants to be dictator, wanted then-Secretary of Defense Mark Esper to bring in troops to shoot American citizens on the streets of America. When demonstrators were filling the streets around the White House following the murder of George Floyd, Der Furor asked Esper, “Can't you just shoot them? Just shoot them in the legs or something?”

As if the quote – and it is a quote – at the top of today’s post wasn’t psychotic and chilling enough, Hair Trump added this beaut, “If this election isn’t won, I’m not sure that you’ll ever have another election in this country. Does that make sense? I don’t think you’ll ever have another election in this country if we don’t win this election. I don’t think you’re gonna have another election, or certainly not an election that’s meaningful.” By which, besides being the usual IMAX-level projection, Damaged Don means an election that he wins. Because after all, in Trump’s late-stage-syphilitic mind, the only fair election, is an election that he wins.

 

Trump will not take his massive, humiliating defeat in November lying down, though standing up is not exactly his forte. Of course, if he wins, he will not take that very well either. And America will probably never get up.

Naturally, when Trump uses the word “bloodbath” he means it literally.

10cc – I Wanna Rule the World

That’s enough fun for one day.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

How Much You Got On You?

Show Him The Money Door

March 15, 2024

With all his legal fees and penalties piling up faster than the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, and needing anyone, anywhere to cover his expenses (since he is not as “really rich” as he believes and/or lies he is) one would be remiss in not wondering who will be the new owners of demented, deranged, disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump. Considering most of the properties that have his name plastered on them – most of which Trump does not own – are frantically removing the Trump stain from their facades, what’s next? Might some enterprising scumbag buy the name outright? Perhaps Donald will soon be unable to use his own surname.

Dumb Donald may soon need a whole lot more financial aid since he continues to defame E. Jean Carroll on a regular basis. There is a much-greater-than-zero chance that Carroll and her attorneys are at this very moment putting their ducks in a row for the purpose of bringing yet another defamation suit against Rapey McFuckface. And since the first one ended in a $5 million award to Carroll and the second ballooned to $83.3 million, one must assume that the next award will have to be substantially larger than those preceding it in yet another (likely-to-fail) attempt to stop Der Furor from repeating his offense over and over and over again.

The Dave Clark Five - Over And Over

So who are the rubes, besides Trump’s pitiable (not really) cult members – who between them probably could not cover just the E. Jean Carroll penalties (so far) let alone the massive $450-million-and-counting coming due to the state of New York – are going to cough up the big bucks (which they must know they are unlikely to ever see again)? They are probably not rubes so much as gamblers hoping to own a president. So who? Elon Musk, Vladimir Putin, Viktor Orbán? Or maybe George Soros.

I. Mangrey ruminating.

Fraught For The Day - The Lone Star Hate

Texas Isn't Dead, It Just Smells Funny

March 14, 2024

Fuck Texas straight to hell. As the Lone Scar State vies for worst fucking state in the union, we here at Paying Attention™ say: you made it bitches!

Everyone knows about Texas trying to kill anyone who crosses into their hell-hole from south of the border. They are not shy about their racism. But that might not be their worst claim to shame.

A recently completed study found that there have been at least 64,000 women and girls became pregnant as a result of rape in states with abortion bans. As you might expect, that number is probably low due to rampant under-reporting of rape. Texass, one assumes proudly, topped the list with 45% of that “total” – 26,000 rape-related pregnancies in this shithole state alone since they banned abortions there in September 2021.

That’s more (probably much more) than 26,000 rape-related pregnancies in one state in just over two fucking years for those of you in the dumbass state that keeps electing the most despised man in American politics – and not without too many good reasons to count – Raphael (the actual first name he’s ashamed of) Ted Cruz. Cruz’s father, according to Donald Trump, assassinated JFK, and Cruz himself aided and abetted the same Donald Trump in trying to assassinate our democracy.

But don’t worry, because piece-of-shit Texass governor Greg Abbott said he is planning to stop rape in his disgraceful state. Yeah, stop the raping, what a great idea. Wonder why no one ever thought of that before. Another super genius. Too bad about all the brain damage.

He’ll probably get around to preventing all the raping when he’s not busy kidnapping and shipping off to other states, or sanctioning the murder of desperate immigrants trying to enter the United States – land of the free and home of the slave.

Speaking of stopping rapists… You can tell a lot about a person by company he creeps

Greg Abbott glad-hands professional rapist

Just so we’re on the same page, FUCK TEXAS.

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.