A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Cuts

The Face That Launched A Thousand* Lies

February 4, 2021

After four disastrous years of Turmp’s crimes and our punishment, culminating in his Klux Klan Koup, it remains difficult to hear anyone’s call for unity above the relentless shouting of the GQP, many of whom still insist that Biden stole the election and Turmp won. That is, when they are not busy threatening the lives of their colleagues.

Despite the almost universal recognition – even among Ratpublican legislators – that Turmp was guilty of inciting insurrection against the United States, in between their anything-but-sincere, cynical whining for unity, Ratpublicans are mewling to anyone who will listen that it’s time to get over that whole violent coup thing that happened so long ago, and move on. Presumably, to a few dozen more Benghazi hearings, or maybe just one or ten or forty-seven more investigations into Hillary Clinton’s emails. Of course, when Ratpublicans call for unity they mean: do what they want you to do and there will be unity.

While many among them are now trying to pin the blame on Nancy Pelosi, McConnell’s Minions are blubbering that holding a Senate IMPEACHMENT hearing is just a silly waste of time, and will cause division in our nation. They are anxious to get on with relentlessly obstructing Joe Biden’s agenda to pull America up out of the hundred-foot-deep dung heap under which they allowed, no encouraged, Turmp to bury us.

Agreed: There has been a significant improvement in quality of life since Turmp has been banned from Twitter and other antisocial media platforms, not to mention the White House. Disinformation regarding the outcome of the 2020 election dropped by 73% in the days after Turmp’s Twitter ban took effect.

Agreed: Stress levels have greatly diminished since Turmp has lost his bullshit pulpit and we do not have to wonder what existential threat to democracy he will perpetrate every single day. The almost total elimination of having to hear his whiny voice has brought considerable healing to a sickened nation (excluding of course, the tens-of-millions of whoever the hell voted for this poison pill).

Needed: In a desperately needed effort to wipe Turmp off the face of our political landscape (I bet you thought I was going to say Earth, but that would be inappropriate in so far as it might catch the attention of authorities trained to monitor such dangerous talk unless it is uttered by radical right-wing lunatics who believe that Jewish space lasers started the California wildfires and that Anderson Cooper eats babies.) and the well-earned erasure of this fascist fuckwit from our memories, the media must stop showing pictures of his fake fucking face. That is, unless it shows him responding to a subpoena, being escorted in handcuffs, sitting in a courtroom next to some doofus attorney he hired out of the Yellow Pages after all his third-tier attorneys quit because they refused to work for a raving lunatic who still thinks he won the election, or on his first day in prison, or next to his very brief obituary that somehow leaves out the fact that was president. Otherwise, these are the only pictures we should have to endure now that the White House has been liberated:

This is more than sufficient to let us know not to bother looking

Or this…

Objectionable in mirror is closer than is healthy

Or this…

This would also be acceptable…

Gregor Samsa's got nothing on this vermin

And of course, this…

America’s happy place

His voice is painful, his words are stupid and/or lies, his fake fucking face hurts to look at. Stop subjecting us to any of it without good cause and/or proper protection.

* Actually, it was 30,573 false or misleading claims in four years. Nearly half in his final year.

I. Mangrey recovering.

Phonies' Phone Call

Perfectly Great

February 2, 2021

Turmp finally turns on fellow conspiracy-soaked mental defective Marjorie Taylor Greene after squawking with her on the phone.

Phone-y genius

“Queen Greene must be very proud of herself. She told the fake media that we had a “great phone call.” I don’t have to take that kind of crap, not even from a great Q American, without all that LGBT nonsense. Maybe if she was hotter things would be different. And if Melania was out of town. And I can say ‘crap’ now since I’m still waiting for Sleepy Joe to concede. I can say all kinds of shit right now because, since my election was stolen, I have many rights that many people are telling me are in the Constitution. Many people who know lawyers are telling me I still have absolute power since I still believe I’m president. Anyway, I tried my best to keep Margie – I call her Margie – in Congress by blessing her with a perfect phone call. Many people are telling her to quit, but I think she should do what I think is right. I like that she wanted to impeach Sleepy Joe even before he took my office. And she thinks Crooked Hillary eats babies. Plus, that Jewish lasers starting wildfires in Califoria thing is terrific, not as good as sweeping the forests, but I like it. But she better get her stories straight, especially when it comes to having a perfect Turmp phone call. Did you hear what I said? A perfect phone call. Perfect. Not good. Not great. It was perfect, just like all of my phone calls. I am not only the king of debt, I’m the king of perfect phone calls. If Marge – I call her Marge – publicly apologizes, I might have to reconsider. Otherwise, I just might have to sue her. Assuming I can find a lawyer.”

Speaking Of Lawyers

Has anyone seen my lawyers?

In an interview with the Atlanta Jewish Times, one of Turmp’s C-team lawyers, David Schoen, who defended Roger Stone (Stone was convicted on all seven counts brought against him.) and consulted with Jeffrey Epstein days before his death bragged, “I represented all sorts of reputed mobster figures: alleged head of Russian mafia in this country, Israeli mafia and two Italian bosses, as well a guy the government claimed was the biggest mafioso in the world.” Obviously, this guy has plenty of experience with operators like Turmp. We do now know how well he represented these monsters, he clearly knows all the best people. Turmp’s other new legal slug Bruce Castor, Jr. declined to prosecute Bill Cosby in 2005 and was forced to resign (Cosby was later found guilty of rape.). So, both of these new guys are good with sex offenders as well. Turmp has found his dream team.

To paraphrase O.J.’s dream team, “If he’s full of shit, you can’t acquit.”

I. Mangrey, scooping the news with a pooper scooper.

BONUS NONSENSE:

Prediction from Dec 2016      

  February 2, 2017

Pennsylvania legend and powerful prognosticator in his own right, Punxsutawney Phil emerges from his winter nap somewhere in the depths of Chrump’s “hair”, sees his shadow and runs back into the tangled mass of cordage, signaling another nine months of executive branch insanity. The American public immediately decides the smaller rodent should be the 46^th president.

It's The Ratpublicans, Stupid

Shitizens United

January 31, 2021

    Remember, those who do not learn from history are
    doomed to fuck everything up for the rest of us.
                                                                                  Ed Venture

If anyone thought that D. Turmp was a big problem, they were obviously correct in that assessment. However, he was definitely not the big problem. That would be Mitch Fucking McConnell and his Ratpublican Party. What is interesting is that their unique variety of spinelessness gives them power, whereas the version of spinelessness possessed by Democrats only serves to make them more vulnerable and powerless.

Ratpublicans are showing their spinelessness by continuing to grovel at the alter of Turmp. Despite his double IMPEACHMENT. Despite his incitement of a white supremacist, conspiracy theory addled, violently ignorant mob to lay siege to the Capitol, the same Capitol wherein Democrats and Ratpublicans alike were forced to take shelter while having their offices, computers and documents – not to mention the very Capitol itself – violated. Despite Turmp’s mob threatening the very lives of several Democratic lawmakers, and at least one Ratpublican – Turmp’s number one pathetically subservient ass-kisser – Mike “Fuck Me Hard Donald, Just Don’t Tell Mother” Pence.

Top members of the Fuck America Party

Forty-five out of 50 of these rat-fucking bastards nonetheless voted in favor of Rand Paul’s motion that the imminent IMPEACHMENT trial of #45 is unconstitutional. Despite the well-accepted fact that it is not. One of those deplorable fascists is none other than Mitch Fucking McConnell, who not that long ago said of the insurrectionists, “The mob was fed lies. They were provoked by the president and other powerful people.” Unsurprisingly, the now ex-Senate Majority Leader neglected to take either responsibility or credit – depending on one’s perspective – for being one of those ‘powerful people’ who had the mindless millions eating lies out of the palm of his blood-stained hand. Fucking McConnell later lied that he might be in favor of IMPEACHING Turmp.

Catch 45

McConnell also refused to reconvene the Senate before Joe Biden’s inauguration in order to allow the IMPEACHMENT process to move forward. Now that Biden is president, McConnell says it is too late to hold an IMPEACHMENT trial since Turmp is no longer in office.

Paul, who tried to claim that it was Democrats who incited violence, was the only one in the room not wearing a mask. I hope that the next any of these weasels, particularly Dr. Rand Paul, try to go maskless on federal property, President Biden’s new mandate that masks must be worn on federal property will be enforced, or maybe someone should just punch his mouth shut so he can’t infect anyone, either with his spittle or his diseased words. Or maybe he could just wear a fucking mask.

It is entirely possible that things are only going to get worse after the long-overdue removal of Turmp from office. As the Ratpublican Party becomes more fully, more shamelessly, the White Supremacist Party. They must be politically beaten down until there is nothing left of them but a bunch of hate-hurling homunculi, powerless to fulfill their wish to return America to pre-Civil War racism as opposed to 21^st Century racism, which apparently is not brutal enough for them.

All that being said, many Ratpublicans still love Turmp to death. I have to agree this is a worthy goal. I wish them great success in their endeavor.

I. Mangrey reporting. Only eight (or so) more shopping days until the IMPEACHMENT trial. 

The Never Ending Story

Black Lives Shattered

January 30, 2021

Persecutors Prosecutors in Colorado announced that they would not charge two police officers who drew their guns and handcuffed a black family, including two girls, after suspecting them of riding in a stolen car in August of last year. No one was surprised. These, let’s call them what they are – PIGS – refused to let Brittney Gilliam, the woman driving the car, show them her license and registration for the car they said was stolen. They instead held this completely innocent family at gunpoint for two hours. Two hours. Two. Hours. Four. Children.

Black family held hostage at gunpoint by Colorado cops for no reason,

similarly, sky declared blue

The children, ranging in age from 6 to 17, were ordered at gunpoint to lie facedown on the parking lot, and two were handcuffed. The girls broke down into tears and screams as several white police officers loomed over them.

The entire family is now receiving therapy for PTSD, and the children are reportedly unable to carry out normal daily activities – including eating – without the trauma overshadowing their lives. These vicious criminals posing as police officers must be brought to justice, if such a thing can be said to still exist in the land of the greed and home of the slave.

This is what appears to be a majority of Ratpublicans want to see happen on a more consistent basis. Until America is “great” again. When these miscreants yell about wanting their “freedom,” what they are demanding is freedom from having to share “their” country with people of color. Whoever named the last one a “civil” war, was surely funny in the head. Now that we are living in a very similar time, it is clear that there is nothing civil about this.

I. Mangrey reporting. Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights.

Bob Marley - Get Up Stand Up

 

Holding On For Dear Life

When They Go Low, Stomp Them Into The Ground
(Figuratively Speaking, Of Course)

January 29, 2021

Most Ratpublicans, even those who very briefly said out loud that Turmp bore responsibility for the January 6^th white supremacist terror attack on the Capitol (particularly Mitch Fucking McConnell and Kevin McCarthy) that he personally fomented for months (years really) and then made sure there would be an insufficient law enforcement presence, are whining that everyone should, according to presidential wannabe and Turmp sycophant Nikki Haley “get over it”, just let it go. The attack of January 6, 2021 was objectively one of the worst days in American history, which some of you may remember happened less than a month ago.

During the era of Vietnam War protests most of the violence was perpetrated either by the police or saboteurs planted within the movement by the FBI. Never did and demonstration even dream of storming the Capitol or violently overthrowing the duly elected government. The worst thing ever threatened during that era was when Abbie Hoffman and the Yippies! threatened to surround the Pentagon for the purpose of levitating it.

Ratpublicans want to wipe a violent, deadly siege of the Capitol with both Houses in session to ceremonially formalize the landslide victory of Joseph Biden over Donald Turmp a month earlier by the base of the Ratpublican Party, under Rand Paul’s rug.

After leaving not one shit-sodden stone unturned in a supremely undemocratic effort to overturn the will of the American people, an effort they knew from the outset was based on bullshit lies and doomed to abject failure, Ratpublicans want us all to forget the complicity, the incitement and the continued support they provided for the seditious racists’ attempted coup. It’s working for them; it had better not work on the rest of us.

Unfettered Man

John Fetterman

Fetterman’s Freak Flags Flying Freely above seditious shitheads

Meanwhile, the Pennsylvania wing of the Fuck-America Party is throwing a hissy fit over Lt. Governor John Fetterman flying a marijuana-leaf flag and a gay pride flags from the state capitol, despite Ratpublicans having slipped a clause banning such dangerous actions into a budget bill last November. Some people would find Fetterman’s antics less threatening to life, limb and democracy than say, laying siege to the Capitol with plans to kidnap and murder elected officials. Why can’t Pennsylvania Ratpublicans just let it go?

So, can we have Al Franken back now?

I. Mangrey requesting.

Patriotism, Bitches!

Hold My Truths

January 28, 2021

Everyone seems to be asking how President Joe Biden intends to make nice with the 74,000,000 ignoramuses who voted for the guy Biden crushed on November 3, 2020. Maybe your memory is better than mine, but I don’t recall one single person ever asking how the guy who got crushed in the popular vote by Hillary Clinton in 2016 how he would bring the country together by respecting all those Americans who did not vote for him.

Pseudo-patriotic pinheads pummel police

Some supporters of the self-proclaimed/self-deluded party of law and order showed their utter disdain for our laws, our order and our democracy (I guess it sounds to much like Democrat), a disdain shared by a significant number of that party’s elected officials and their newly ejected president, were responsible for the deaths of five people including a police officer. Now we learn that they were also responsible for nearly 140 injured officers – some severely – as well as two officer suicides resulting from their attempted coup. Never doubt that Ratpublicans are inveterate hypocrites.

Declaration of Independence Meets Declaration of The Indefensible 

While a number of these super-genius-patriots were rummaging through the Capitol like a bunch of lobotomized locusts, they stumbled across the seat of one Ted Cruz, who saw in these cretins an opportunity for self-aggrandizement and fund-raising. Cruz helped delay the Senate vote count certifying the Electoral College vote (an unpatriotic, undemocratic miasma in itself) as cover for the insurrection and his political sugar-daddy Turmp. So these morons are rifling through Ted’s papers and whipping themselves into an even bigger lather when they discover that Cruz is planning to de-certify the Electoral votes of Arizona. This, they are caught on video (caught by themselves, I might add) wailing that Cruz was planning to “sell them out” when if fact, de-certifying Arizona is exactly what they wanted him to do. This is really all you need to know about this moronic movement of malicious militia malcontents. Oh, and the My Pillow crack-head is one of them.

We hold a lot of shit to be self-evident, but clearly much of it is anything but self-evident to a large swath of our fellow citizens. They hold other truths to be self-evident, that white men are created better, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Racism, Idiocy and the pursuit of Stupidness.

At least Jefferson expressed some remorse and sense of guilt about his racism

Lastly, nothing screams patriotism like beating police protecting the Capitol from terrorists bent on overthrowing the United States with American flags. Oh, and like waging a terrorist attack on the Capitol. Naturally, they were sporting more Turmp flags than American ones. Patriotism Bitches!

I. Mangrey reacting.

Thought For The Day

January 26, 2021

I might be wrong about this, but it seems to me that allowing members of the Sedition Caucus to bring firearms onto the House floor is probably a bad idea. Oddly, it is illegal to bring a gun onto the House floor, though one might think this would be a no-brainer, particularly so soon after the Second-Amendment-Über-Alles crowd violated the Capitol on January 6^th. Metal detectors were installed in the Capitol after the attempted coup, inspired and/or aided and abetted by countless Ratpublicans and incited by Donald Turmp. Apparently, they need to install mental detectors as well.

Several members of the disloyal opposition have been defying Capitol police’s efforts to force them to go through the detectors, some attempting to smuggle guns onto the floor, others just doing what they do best – being douchebags.

The Guess Who – Guns, Guns, Guns

Just so we’re clear. Lawn darts are illegal because several people suffered injuries, but guns are the lifeblood of America. I say either do something intelligent about guns or add lawn darts to the Second Amendment.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

His Filth Goes Marching On

Gory, Gory, Hallelujah

January 25, 2021

Cleanup In Aisle 1600 !

I’ve been wondering what I’ll do once we don’t have feces-flinging-fool Donald Turmp to kick around anymore, or at least to be forced to pay attention to every damn day. Turns out there is plenty of stupid to pique my interest. The 147 Ratpublican representatives who voted against their Constitutional oaths, by refusing to certify the completely legitimate election of Joe Biden jump immediately to mind. Disgraced IMPEACHED IMPEACHED X-Fake president Donald Turmp – the only president with more IMPEACHMENT than terms in office, and more days spent golfing than working – leaves behind the American Carnage he imagined and then created. America remains mired in more of a freshly visited litter box than a sand trap. Of course Turmp had a lot of help, and much of that help remains right where it was, and will continue to fester.

Part of me had hoped that once America had drunk enough disinfectant to cleanse the covfefe from our system, that the long-overdue excision of a brain-dead, hot air buffoon from the Executive Branch would provide me with a long-sought pause in the disaster, that one day, like a miracle, it would disappear, that I could rest my weary fingers, let my injured mind wander aimlessly for a while, allow my soul to find some solace.

So Much Stupid, So Much Time

So it looks like my level of paying attention will have to remain on Orange Alert, at least for a little while, until they can round up all the seditious dipshits and lock them away…okay, so maybe not such a little while. Let me assault you with a few excremental examples before I force myself to attempt to take a break. I promised myself I would try to think happier thoughts, at least until the White House has been sufficiently cleansed – literally – to the point that the Bidens and those in the Biden administration can safely roam the White House without fear of contacting COVID-19 and who knows what other disease vectors left swirling around what has been an unprotected, unsafe petri-dish since at least last January.

Boebert & Palin: Separated at birth, and from brains

New brand-new member of Congress’ QAnon wing of the Republican’t Party Lauren Boebert (R-Crazytown) who apparently was elected to represent Psycho City in Colorado, recently posted a two-plus-minute-long video about how she carries her dildo/Glock everywhere she goes, and dammit, she is gunna bring her bestie into the Capitol ostensibly to protect America from people like her? This was before she led a misguided tour for her sad-sack, shithead seditionist buddies. This little recon mission took place exactly one day before her QAnut co-conspirators invaded the Capitol, armed with weapons, handcuffs and maps of the Capitol Building. Almost everything malignant militia would need to take control of the seat of government, possibly kidnap and/or assassinate government leaders with whom they disagreed, with the possible exception of brains. Like Palin before her Boebert has no concept of the Constitution, an unhealthy, unholy obsession with a Second Amendment she does not really understand. And what a surprise, neither of these goonish girls has a handle on the First Amendment. Boebert is facing a lawsuit for allegedly violating the First Amendment rights of those of her constituents who dare to disagree with her.

Boebert continued her sedition (not to mention, stunning stupidity) into the following day, once her cohorts had breached and begun defiling her new workplace:

But wait, there’s more…

Just as Donald Trump made many people feel much less animosity toward super-idiot, war criminal and who-many-thought-was-the-worst-president George W. Bush, the new, unimproved GQP (Grand QAnon Party) makes people nostalgic for the days of the brain-dead, Constitution-illiterate Tea Party.

There is no need to discuss the air-headed oxygen thief that is Boebert’s dumbleganger Sarah Palin, since her exploits are unfortunately all-too-well-known at this point. Maybe someone will sew them back together at the lips so we can stop having to hear them make noise.

Speaking of stupid, it looks like the My Pillow crackhead got his ass and pillow show dropped from several major chains after showing up at the White House during the last throes of Turmp the Terrible to tell Turmp to consider imposing martial law, and recommending other dumbass fascist ideas to Dumb Leader. Dumb fuck, dumb pillow. 

But Wait, There’s Moron…

Radical religious fundamentalist/hypocrite Mike Pompeo could not resist one more of his patented remove-shoe-(optional)-insert-foot-in-mouth-(apparently unavoidable), blather, wince, repeat ad nauseum maneuvers before being removed from the horrible job he’s been doing as whatever-the-hell-he-was-supposed-to-be. Out of sight (or in plain sight), out of (his) fucking mind.

Then of course, there’s newly-minted-moron Josh Hawley, good old, reliably-rotten Ted Cruz, crazy cracker Lindsey Graham and countless other vacuous vipers (like most of the Republican’t members of Congress) struggling for air time and hopefully actual air in the months and years to come.

Brief aside: Hawley is yet another radical Christian who believes in the singularity of Church and State and has little time for those who do not share his flavor of religion. He spoke up for the rights of militia members after the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing and defended racist L.A. police detective Mark Fuhrman’s use of racial slurs during the O.J. Simpson trial. So, there’s that.

Proposed billboard from MeidasTouch (maybe show them some love)

At least there will be no more perfidious press secretaries, no more psychotic Stephen Miller, just 70-plus million racist and racist-adjacent Turmp lovers looking for another slavior to help make America white again.

At least those of us comprising the sentient part of America can begin to seek help for our PTSD – Post Turmp Stress Disorder. Hopefully, Turmp’s American Carnage stops right here, and stops right now.

I. Mangrey for a little while longer. Keep your seats in the upright position and seatbelts fastened tightly.

Question For The Day

January 23, 2021

Just when you think these fucking motherfuckers can’t get any fucking worse, we learn that some fucking fuckwit scraped the fucking word ‘TRUMP’ (the world’s first five-letter four-letter word) into the back of a manatee, a species even more endangered than Americans with functioning brains.

My money would be on noted murderer of defenseless, endangered animals, Don, Jr. but I’m unconvinced that he has the wherewithal to make legible letters, let alone squeeze out an entire word in one try. That, and the fact he probably would not immerse himself in water and risk washing off his protective layer of slime.

Un-violated manatees desperately trying to peacefully co-exist with hairless apes

This has been your Paying Attention Question For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your question for the day?

BONUS QUESTION:

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Marlon Craft - State Of The Union