Thursday, May 15, 2025

Question For The Day – Have A Ball?

Inquiring Minds Want To Know (Sort Of)

May 15, 2025

An odd thought just crossed my mind...

Today’s Question For The Day:

So, if the Earth is flat, does that mean that the Moon is flat? The Sun? All the other planets and stars? And what about meatballs?

Bonus Question:

Are flat-earthers able to feed themselves?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Thought For The Day – Not My President

Is Being Stupid A Choice?

Don’t It Always Seem To Go,
That You Don’t Know What You’ve Got
‘Til It’s Ruining Your Fucking Life

May 14, 2025

I did not vote for the Hindenburg of presidents…three times. He is not my president. And guess what. If you voted for him, he is not your president either.*

Even if you voted for him, this president thinks you are a worthless moron who will send your hard-earned money to a billionaire – who said he doesn’t need your money, yet keeps begging you for more of it – and believe anything he says, even though he has not said anything true in your lifetime.

If you still support this tumor with legs after everything we have seen him do, then he is correct about your status as a worthless moron. It’s not me saying this, it’s him. Believe him.

This is not said to be rude, just accurate.

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*Unless of course you are a billionaire.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Monday, May 12, 2025

Thought For The Day – Forget It Jake, It’s Tarifftown

Don May Not Like Chinese Food, But China Just Ate His Fuckin' Lunch

May 12, 2025

Earlier today we watched China call Dumbass Don’s bluff on his ill-conceived, and let’s face it stupid tariff fiasco. Unsurprisingly, we saw that bluff turn to dust…I’m sorry, pardon my language, turn to shit.

We can now fully understand how this complete and utter fraud, failure and fuckwit bankrupted casinos. And literally hundreds of other pathetic eponymous businesses.

Trump’s tariff on Chinese goods will drop from at least 145% (which he said was non-negotiable) to 30% for an initial period of 90 days. Here we go with the 90 days bullshit again. This still leaves American businesses and families in limbo, not knowing what President Hindenburg will do next.

Despite Death-To-America-Don caving bigly before the entire economy and millions of American households collapsed under the inestimable weight of this toxic trash heap in a suit, a good deal of damage is already manifest.

We have not yet hit the rock-bottom that Don is desperately trying to send us to, but he is not ready to give up. Perhaps we will pull out of this nosedive before bursting into flames, but we have no way of knowing because Don has no fucking clue what he will do nextHe couldn’t run a casino, or a normal business, let alone a country. Trump put the ‘i’ in run.

All I can say is stand up and stand by until we find a way to rid ourselves of this ass-faced albatross around America’s neck.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day. 

Broken News – More Trouble Is Loomering

Like Son Of Sam’s Neighbor's Dog, Only More Bitchy, And Advising Someone Sicker  

May 11, 2025

For those of you keeping score or desperately trying to avoid knowing anything that’s going on in the Wide World of Politics, we have big news.

Half-president Don, having jettisoned the other half-president (sort of...at least publicly), fElon MusKKK, has taken a new other half, or perhaps each is a 1/3-president. If you are lucky and/or smart you know nothing whatsoever about Don's newest conspiracist-in-chief Ms. Laura Loomer. Loomer is the nutjob’s nutjob.


Our sources report that this is Loomer’s actual face



A face that could give EmptyG’s a run for the money*

Oh, The Lack Of Humanity

Loomer believes in nothing that has actually happened and everything that has not. She makes RFingK, Jr. look like myth buster Penn Jillette. Loomer has already convinced Demented Grandpa Don to remove a number of government employees. I will spare you any more of the gory details of the contents of Loomer's brain/imagination since you might be reading this over breakfast.

If there is anything worse than Don listening to the voices in his head, it just might be listening to Laura Loomer. But this is exactly where we are right now.**

Loomer clearly gives Don something MusKKK could or simply would not. The smart/nauseated money is on blow jobs.

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*With an equally impressive lack of brains to match. It would be a tough fight to determine the queen fruitcake.
**However, even Loomer callee out her other third – after stating “I love President Trump. I would take a bullet for him” – over Don recently accepting a $400 million private jet from Qatar, or “Jihadists in suits” as she called them.



This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled angst, already in progress. 

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Good Times People, Good Times

On This Date In American History   

May 10, 2025

And we thought things were a mess then.

May 10, 1974, the beginning of the end of Richard Nixon, in the House

And we thought he was a dick.

I. Mangrey, still angry after all these years. 

Friday, May 9, 2025

MOBY-DON (WHO IS ALSO A DICK)

Thar He Blows…In Fact, He Blows Everywhere

May 9, 2025

Many a tale has been told of behemoths as heroes, villains, predators, quarry, pitchman. Goliath, Moby-Dick, Godzilla, King Kong, Bigfoot, The Hulk, Jaws, Reacher, Paul Bunyan, the Jolly Green Giant.

One particular giant, was a so-called monster of the deep who had a mentally unstable, obsessed and delusional hunter who refused to cease his pursuit of the innocent beast. The unhinged captain Ahab, due to his tragic mental illness and deep-seated lack of humanity, deemed the behemoth evil. These two, the hunter and the prey and the futilely insane chase comprised the classic MOBY-DICK.

Though long dead, Melville has managed to pen a sequel, turning, at long last, the tables. It is no longer the ship’s captain who has lost all contact with reality. Now everyone involved knows that the elusive, blubbery quarry is in fact the evil, demented blowhard that must be caught and ended before not only the crew of Pequod II, but the ship itself, and the ocean it sails on and the planet on which the ocean exists will all be brought to ruin. The new captain, Baha must complete his crucial mission to put a stop to the monster hell-bent of total destruction.

And so, Paying Attention™, long known for its creation of and fondness for the arts, is honored to bring you, for the first time anywhere, the opening paragraph of the posthumous masterpiece by the late great Hannibal Lecter…sorry, Herman Melville. Here then are the opening words of MOBY-DON.

 

MOBY-DON (WHO IS ALSO A DICK)

CHAPTER 1. Loomings.

Stop calling me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having few if any fucks to give, and nothing particular to interest me in politics, I thought I would turn my attentions to less nauseating parts of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the screaming voices in my head and regulating my insides. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the brain; whenever it is a deadly cold, unrelenting December in my soul; whenever I find myself longingly pausing before coffin warehouses, and imagining which style would suit my form and how soon it might be nice for one last sleep; and especially whenever the doings of the world get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong power of the will to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, in the path of some over large motor vehicle—then, I account it high time to cease paying attention as soon as I can. This is my substitute for banging my head against the wall. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the bed, practically suffocating myself in pillows and too many blankets. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the toxicity of politics with me.*


Well, there you have it. Likely another masterpiece by Melville. They said it couldn’t be done. Actually, now that I think about it, they might have said it shouldn’t be done. Either way, they said something and it has been done. I wouldn’t rush out to your local bookstore – if you even have one – because chances are it won’t be available anywhere in the near future, what with all the book bannings and burnings, and fascism and whatnot.

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*Full disclosure: Melville did not actually write this posthumously. It was apparently penned by Melville’s great, great, great, great grandson I. Melville using as a nom de plume that of his great, great, great, great grandfather.



I. Melville reporting, etc.

Thursday, May 8, 2025

Schmuck Of The Day – It’s Don

Super Schmuck

May 8, 2025

While Dumb Don is a schmuck every day, he is not always the Schmuck Of The Day. Others may stand out, as it were, from time to time, but this should never distract from the fact that Don does drastically douchey deeds daily.

Looks like Don’s comb-over-and-over-and-over is almost over*

Don actually said something that is true, though not the way he meant it. The words are accurate, but the meaning he presumably ascribed to them is unmitigated bullshit.

The quote: “I said, we are in a transition period.”

Fact check – true. We do appear to be in a transition period. However, we are transitioning from bad to worse. At best.

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*What a schmuck.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

This Is Not A Good Sign

They Can Run, But They Hopefully Won’t Hide

May 7, 2025

As you are no doubt aware, we here at Paying Attention™ persistently strive for optimism and the utmost positivity, though from time to time it might not appear that way. That is only because things are so irreparably fucked up it can be difficult to let our sunny dispositions break through the current nuclear-winter-cloud of sheer evil and stupidity.

Today however, we are completely unable to sugarcoat what might be some of the most disheartening and troublesome news we’ve heard in quite some time. And that is saying many things.

Professor Timothy Snyder is an historian specializing in the history of Central and Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union, and the Holocaust (which contrary to the opinion of many a Trump cultist is a real thing that actually happened in the real world). Snyder and two other professors have decided to leave their positions at Yale. But not for Harvard or some other East Coast elite institution – you know, the ones that Christo-fascist, Trump-licking assholes like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and JD Vance always associate with the “radical left” but attended personally.

Snyder is the author of, among others, the seminal works On Freedom and On Tyranny, being an established and highly respected expert on both. Snyder and his colleagues are moving north. But not to Massachusetts or Maine. They have all gone to Toronto. In Canada. Which, contrary to a certain syphilitic, psychopathic White House inhabitant we know, is and always will be an independent nation that has the bad fortune of sharing a border with the syphilitic, psychopathic autocrat’s Amerika.

Hopefully, these wise educators will still find time to help those less fortunate who are unable to escape to friendlier locales.

20 Lessons on Tyranny: by Timothy Snyder/read by John Lithgow

I. Mangrey recoiling. 

Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Make Alcatraz Great Again

Dumbass Don, Keepin’ It Unreal

May 6, 2025

People are getting bent out of shape because Disaster-in-chief Don is croaking (ooh, I just got a warm, fuzzy feeling all over my body, but I digress) about reopening Alcatraz, the notorious former prison on a California island. Don has been spending the day-or-so-a-week he is not golf-cheating beating the living shit out of America. He has instead recently turned his unwanted attention to making Alcatraz great again. You go gurl.

As always, Don is talking about himself and his cult and scabinet

Personally I think it’s a good idea. Alcatraz could come in handy. It would be a great place for everyone in this administration once they are out of office. They should all be there right now, but I can wait a minute.

Next on Don's fuckit list: Make Auschwitz Great Again

I. Mangrey reporting. Patiently hating.