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Whole Lotta Swearin’ (In) Going On  

January 16, 2020  

Cats and kittens, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, all the ships and clippers at sea, it looks like I picked a bad day to stop smoking, sniffing glue and watching the news.

Today at noon for only the third time in the history of our republic, House Managers will transmit articles of impeachment against Donald Chrump to the Secretary of the Senate.  Then, Sen. Chuck Grassley will swear in Chief Justice John Roberts, who will in turn swear in the entire Senate, who in their turn will either faithfully execute, or pretend to faithfully execute their Constitutional duty as jurors in the most solemn, consequential trial in American politics and history.  The actual trial is slated to begin next Tuesday.

Thus will begin the possible impeachment trial of Impeached-45^th president Donald J. Chrump.  Nothing is certain at this point since Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who is beholden only to Donald Chrump and Vladimir Putin rather than the People and the Constitution of the United States, has all but promised to shunt the proceedings straight into the sewers of our nation’s Capital. 
 

This marks the final phase of the first impeachment of Donald Chrump, the only president to be impeached during his first term.  Given the tsunami of damning evidence that continues to wash over Washington, DC, there does exist the possibility of more impeachment hoopla yet to come.

Chrump, as expected took everything in stride and brushed off the entire affair during a brief statement.

“Just a hoax.  I will never be impeached.  Pelosi will be impeached.”

Many people are worried about Chrump’s reaction once someone draws the short straw and has the unenviable task of trying to explain to the very stable genius exactly what impeachment means.  An anonymous Republican’t Senator told Paying Attention, “I pity the unlucky soul tasked with attempting to explain the meaning of impeachment and the upcoming trial to determine whether Mr. Chrump will be removed from office.  I just don’t see how this can be done with pictures, and we all know what happens to words, especially complete sentences, let alone a paragraph, must be conveyed to the president.  On the outside chance that the reality of the situation begins to dawn on Mr. Chrump at some point, I certainly hope there is a support team at the ready to protect the guy spelling this all out.  I would not want to be alone with Mr. Chrump at that moment.  I just hope we don’t end up with another drone incident based on another imminent event.  I’d sure hate to lose Capitol Hill over this.  I’ve already sent my family back home as have many of my colleagues here in DC.  I might be a lying philanderer, but I still love my kids…and my wife too, I suppose.”

I. Mangrey rejoicing.  Call your senator and request a fair trial.  Seriously.