Supremely Disconcerting, Part III

The Thomas Variations

March 22, 2022

As the Sun decides whether or not to rise on day two of the Ratpublican display of racism, sexism and Q-ism that is supposed to pass for a Supreme Court nominee confirmation hearing, if it does so we will have no choice but to let the loonies have their say lest they pull their guns and give us another January Six. Whether the inquisitors are trying to raise their profiles for a run for the White House, the Nut House, a prime-time slot on Fux News or weekend Walmart Greeter, you can be sure they will have no aim, no shame and no game as they attempt to assail the record and person of Ketanji Brown Jackson, who happens to be one of the most qualified nominees ever to grace the confirmation process.

Loopy Lindsey, Kooky Kennedy, Jerky Johnson, Hang ‘Em Hawley and Mopey Mitch
ready for (distr)action on confirming Ketanji Brown Jackson

Speaking of Supreme Court justices, you probably know that Clarence “Uncle” Thomas wound up in the hospital yesterday. According to our alternative sources, he was drinking a can of Coke and choked on a pubic hair he forgot he had put on the can as a “treat” for one of his female clerks, as he has been known to do. Thomas has acquitted himself fairly disgracefully throughout his time on the highest court. In fact, even before he began deconstructing America from the Supreme Court, he was convincingly accused of sexual harassment during his confirmation process in 1991.

Senate Judiciary Committee chair at the time, Joe Biden was at his good-old-boy, misogynistic best, brushing aside the serious and credible albeit cringe-worthy testimony of Anita Hill who had worked under Thomas years earlier, while ignoring other women who wanted to testify on Hill’s behalf, having experienced similar lurid behavior by Thomas. Our experience of Thomas was all downhill from there. He was ultimately confirmed to replace civil rights icon Thurgood Marshall. Uncle Thomas quickly and consistently made his mark as a civil wrongs icon.

During his confirmation hearings Thomas whined that he was being victimized by a “high-tech lynching for uppity blacks.” Interesting play of the race card from someone who, despite benefitting from affirmative action, has consistently railed against the practice thereafter, and continues his flagrant complicity in disenfranchising Black voters across this country.

Ginni Take A Ride…Better Yet, A Hike

Thomas has almost certainly been using his seat on the bench to, among other things, cover for his insurrectionist wife Ginni and her fellow travelers. Recently, Thomas was the only dissenting vote in an 8-1 decision requiring the head insurrectionist Donald Tmurp to hand over documents to the House Select January 6 Committee. Thomas’s despicable dissention was not only a possibly impeachable offense, it was also incredibly stupid. Being the Lone Deranger achieved nothing more than please his mentally defective, neo-fascist wife (who in 2010 drunk-dialed Anita Hill, cajoling Hill to “consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband.”), and add to his already impressive anti-democracy bona fides.

Several weeks after Uncle Thomas’s vote we learned that his wife suddenly remembered that she was at Tmurp’s January 6, 2021 Start Stop The Steal rally where Tmurp infamously put the finishing touches on his Hang-Mike-Pence gang’s assault on the Capitol.

Ginni Thomas as Statue of Lunacy

The whiter Thomas lied, “I was disappointed and frustrated that there was violence that happened following a peaceful gathering of Trump supporters on the Ellipse on January 6.”

It would not be unfair to assume she was also lying when she whined, “I played no role with those who were planning and leading the Jan. 6 events. There are stories in the press suggesting I paid or arranged for buses. I did not. There are other stories saying I mediated feuding factions of leaders for that day. I did not.”

Then there’s this flatulent fabrication, “Like so many married couples, we share many of the same ideals, principles, and aspirations for America. Clarence doesn't discuss his work with me, and I don't involve him in my work. No he just repeatedly refuses to recuse himself on cases either directly or indirectly related to issues near and dear to his wife’s political activism. Not to mention making it possible to worm her way into the Oval Office to meet with the former guy in a meeting that one aide present at the meeting described as “the craziest meeting I've ever been to.” Thomas’s wife told those present, “Here's what the peeps think. We have to listen to the peeps.” No one was sure whether she was referring to the radical right-wing Ratpublican base or the disgustingly sugary marshmallow treats.

Naturally, one asshole don’t stop the show, but Clarence Thomas has been a, pardon the expression, lynch-pin in countless objectively disastrous decisions during his mostly dead-silent time on the Extreme Court.

Sonny Terry – One Monkey Don't Stop The Show

As we watch the latest circus that has become just about every confirmation hearing, know that Ratpublicans will never be satisfied until they have a 9-0 advantage in the Extreme Court. If you plan to watch, don’t bother with the popcorn, go straight for the barf bag.

All you really need to know is that one of the main disqualifications Ratpublicans are attempting to level at Jackson is her time as a defense attorney representing some unsavory characters. Someone should tell these vacuum-heads that a guy by the name of John Adams, who they may be familiar with, defended British soldiers in the Boston Massacre trials, which they also might have heard about.

I. Mangrey reporting.