November 29, 2023
The
dumbest, most authoritarian president in our history got three appointments to
the Supreme Court, all of whom lied under oath about Roe v. Wade being settled
law – something they would never consider overturning – during their
confirmation hearings. Fascinating.
WTFF*
________________________________________________
*What The Fascinating Fuck
August 23, 2023
For some, this is a day for giving thanks. Good
luck with that. For this moment, I am thankful that I was raised in a
democratic Democratic household. The other major party in this country has been
riddled with political and moral cancer for my entire life, beginning with
disgraced, nearly-impeached and forced to resign from office Richard Nixon. The
party has since barreled headlong to become a toxic brew of racism, sexism, and fascist fuckery. And now, as any and all
treatment options have failed miserably, they are succumbing to debilitating
dementia. They are totally fucked and planning to take us all down with them.
This is known as Thankstaking.
Maybe.
Bothsiderism
is zombie-like – it is difficult to kill and eats human brains for breakfast,
lunch and dinner. As much of corporate media bends over backward to be fair,
balanced and stupid, the public is led to believe things like Joe Biden’s age
is as bad a Donald Trump’s brain damage, crime and fascism.
I
would like to take a moment to simply throw out a few names that have had major
impacts on our politics in modern times:
Joe
McCarthy
Barry Goldwater
Richard Nixon
Henry Kissinger
Pat Buchanan
Newt Gingrich
Rush Limbaugh
Alex Jones
George WTF Bush
Dick Cheney
Tucker Carlson
Donald Trump
Sam Alito
Clarence Thomas
John Roberts
Ron DeSantis
Koch Brothers
Mitch McConnell
And
that’s just off the top of my head.
Some
lesser lights whose impact is currently significant, but who may in the long
run end up rotting near the bottom of the dumpster of history:
Rand
Paul
Lindsey Graham
Tommy Tuberville
Ron Johnson
John Kennedy
Marjorie Taylor Greene
Lauren Boebert
Kevin McCarthy
Rudy Giuliani
Jim Jordan
Matt Gaetz
Mike Flynn
Mike Lindell
Basically, the entire so-called Republican Party today
How
many of these people would you guess (or know full well) are Democrats.
To
be sure there have been plenty of nitwit Democrats, but they have not been
particularly impactful in the big picture – like Illinois governor Rod
Blogoyavich (who tried to sell off Barack Obama’s vacated Senate seat and was
ultimately pardoned by Trump). And like Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, who
have been absolutely horrible. Why? Because they have spent much of their time
in office acting like Republicans. And New Jersey senator Bob Menendez who is
now alleged to have been working as an agent for a foreign government.
Oh
yeah, and Bill Clinton got a blow job.
Freak
out…
I mean, Peace Out.
Or if you prefer, Happy Thanksgiving.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For Thanksgiving Day.
STFU Scotty
November 19, 2023
While
Donald Jack-In-The Trump was whining about how the Justice Department, in going
after him for just a small fraction of the crimes he has committed, “released
the genie out of the box,” (actual stupid quote, though probably not as bad as Pandora's Bottle) nearly invisible Black cracker Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC)
dropped out of the Fascist/Trump Party primary that no one knew he was in.
Scott
said that the voters had clearly said, “Not now.” One voter we spoke with said
that Scott “did not quite read our lips right. What we were saying wasn’t ‘not
now.’ It was not ever, dude. Have you looked in the mirror? Have you not
figured out what this party is about? Get the fuck out of here. We do not like
your tone – and we don’t mean your voice. Get it?”
Not only that, but
according to the anti-choice, anti-LGBTQ+ knucklehead from the Insurrection
State, it seems that God told him to run, but not to win. And remember, this
primary was always to see who could get the farthest up Trump’s ass to be his
ruining mage. Guess the Lord has a great sense of humor. Sort of.
Speaking of the Big Guy, shortly before becoming temporary Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson (who also believes his position, and presumably his raging idiocy, was divinely ordained) referred to American culture as “dark and depraved” and that “America deserves wrath.”
If you see Tim Scott
on the road, kill him…oops, my bad, I take that back, that’s the Buddha.
Was that not in fact fun?
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.
Fabulous Fascist Fuck Brothers
November 18, 2023
Welcome to the second installment of Paying
Attention™’s new feature – Fascinating. Our first installment featured sick Rick
Santorum letting his fascist flag fly, saying that “pure democracies are no way
to run a country.”
I find it fascinating that King Rat(publican) is echoing Hitler and Mussolini by calling people who disagree with his insane stupidity and fascist campaign platform “vermin” who he will “root out” for “poisoning the blood of our country.” To quote the late, great Molly Ivins, “I'm sure it sounded better in the original German.”
Equally fascinating – yeah, let’s call it fascinating
– the nearly-200-year-old British newspaper The Economist recently put Il
Douche at the top of its list of the world's greatest dangers heading into
2024.
File
Under Nauseating
I
find it considerably less fascinating that Elon Musk is also (once again)
parroting Nazi/anti-Semitic tropes on the anti-social-media flotsam that used
to be Twitter.
WTFF*
________________________________________________
*What The Fascinating Fuck
Cloudy With A Chance Guarantee Of Bribery
November 14, 2023
Thanks
to ProPublica’s reporting on the gargantuan grifting scumbags Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas, and the consequent calls for ethics rules
for the Supreme Court, the high court has agreed to put in place window
dressing that is supposed to pass for a code of conduct. As it stands, this
minimal, fairly vague code of conduct will be enforced by the same people it is
meant to regulate.
Though
Alito is likely a more egregious asshole overall, Thomas takes the cake covered
in gold flecks when it comes to raking in the big perks (total value is difficult to measure, but
likely in the millions) and returning the judicial favors – value, priceless.
I
remember the good old days when I despised Clarence Thomas for simply being a
credibly-accused sexual harasser, and the least-qualified Supreme Court appointee
who then became the Court Mime for two decades. Those were the good old days. And
then he finally opened his fat fucking mouth, to the horror of most Americans.
Suddenly,
after the death of his mentor – and hunting buddy of Dick Cheney who managed to
avoid being shot in the face – Antonin Scalia, Thomas wouldn't STFU...except
when it came to being honest about his myriad emolument violations, his wife's
fanatical right-wing fight against democracy, and his own refusal to recuse
himself when either or both of these transgressions are front-and-center in various
cases before the Court. Thomas seems hell-bent on the destruction of the
Supreme Court's image and legacy.
Oh,
and he has had one fuck of a time paying his taxes. He forgot all about the
money he was willing to admit his wife made, let alone all the income they were
hiding completely. And gifts like a nearly $270,000 mobile home he never had to pay for. He also claimed he
did not know he had to include personal bank accounts in his tax filings.
Apparently, Thomas would rather be known as a complete moron than a tax cheat.
Wouldn’t you? No one has ever gone to jail just for being dumb.
That
Was Then, This Is Now (And Then)
Now,
Thomas’s horrific judicial record is seeming to pale in comparison (not really,
this is what's known as poetic license) to his flagrant disregard for the law
and/or simple morality.
Surely
it is mere coincidence that Uncle Thomas became “good friends” with Harlan Crow
(who Thomas dishonestly describes as a life-long friend), Leonard Leo and the
Koch brothers only after being appointed to the Supreme Court. I mean, that’s
only fair. After all, when Thomas was growing up, he was poor and black – not
exactly someone who would attract the attention, let alone the money, exotic
vacations on private jets, and who knows what other valuable perks (like purchasing
his mother’s house so she could live rent-free) he ultimately got from all
these filthy-rich White guys once Thomas became valuable to them.
I
don’t know why everyone is getting so bent out of shape over Thomas raking in
the favors from billionaires who would like him to rule in their favor someday.
Uncle Thomas is just trying to make it clear that African Americans ultimately benefitted
from slavery.
And then
there’s his traitorous, election-denying, Trump-cultist wife, but that’s a tome
for another day.
Clarence
Thomas is a shameless partisan hack and an amoral cheat, doing the bidding of
kleptocratic pigs. A number of people continue to call on Thomas to recuse
himself from various cases before the court, lest he further erode the law and
the lives of average Americans. Thomas should be recusing himself from the
Supreme Court. Period.
I. Mangrey
testifying.
Irrelevant Rick Santorum Opens Mouth, Inserts Fascist
Foot
November 9, 2023
I
find it fascinating that anyone would bother digging up failed, one-term Christo-fascist
Rick Santorum for insight into anything. Although, he does know a thing or two
about having bla…people and many others rush to the polls to keep Little Ricky’s
uber-religious hands off our government. Somewhat less surprising though, it
was the cesspool of dis, mis and non-information known as Newsmax.
Santorum’s
take on the nation-wide drubbing handed to religious fanatics and their ilk at
the polls this week was, among other things, fascinating.
The
former Ratpublican Pennsylvania Senator and make-believe presidential candidate
mewled
that Ohio’s decision to legalize marijuana and enshrine abortion in the state
constitution was proof that “pure democracies are not the way to run a
country.”
WTFF*
________________________________________________
*What The Fascinating Fuck
Trump Testifies Against Himself
November 8, 2023
Trump seen here in court looking like he died a week ago
Demented, deranged degenerate Trump thought it would be a good idea to shoot off his mouth in court. Yesterday Defendant Trump took the witness stand and spent his time blowing gaskets, insulting the judge who is the sole arbiter in Donny Dearest’s civil fraud trial, and confessing to personally perpetrating fraud, while also implicating his sons and other officers of the soon-to-be-defunct Trump Organization. Donald also made sure to impress upon the court that he does not know when he was president and when he was not.
The reason Trump did not get a jury trial – something he has been whining about for weeks, claiming he is being depraved…I mean deprived of his rights – is because his idiot lawyer (to Trump’s left below) Alina Habba (who was hired because of her resemblance to Melanie who Trump has not seen for several months) forgot to file the paperwork requesting a jury trial.
After Trump’s inarguably disastrous display on the witness stand, one of Trump’s bargain-basement lawyers (to Trump’s right above) told the assembled press outside the courthouse, “In 33 years I have never had a witness testify better. An absolutely brilliant performance by president [his word, not mine] Trump.” Clearly this moron is just trying to butter up his flattery-addicted client to do something he almost never does – pay his attorneys.
I suppose one could
think Trump’s testimony was brilliant if his goal was to goad the judge into
completely crippling Trump’s business so-called empire. Trump’s guilt had
already been decided before the testimony of the past two weeks. The judge is
merely deciding how harsh a financial punishment to slap on the incredibly
guilty conman from Queens. With any luck, it will ruin his miserable excuse for
a life.
Trump seems to be
trying to find out if he can make as much money bilking his cult followers out
of their money as he made doing whatever the fuck he had been doing before
destroying the presidency and our democracy.
The final witness
will testify later today – Trump’s daughter Ivanka. I wonder if Trump will
still want to date her after her testimony.
It is time for Trump
to join Dick Cheney for little hunting trip.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
ennui.
November 7, 2023
This
fraud-soaked operation has already been found guilty by a judge. Why no jury
trial, you ask. Because Trump’s cracked attorney Alina Habba forgot to file the
paperwork to get a jury trial, that’s why. Not, as Trump has repeatedly whined,
because he is being denied his right to a jury trial. It’s hard to get good
help these days when you have a well-deserved reputation for not paying your
help.
So,
in honor of Donald Trump’s brilliant Take-Your-Children-To-Court week, we bring
you
It
seems the upper echelon of the Trump Crime Family is a bit put off by being
caught criming and now being held to account.
In public.
Big Daddy Trump went on his failing fake-X/Twitter
platform to once again lash out at truth, justice, the American way and New
York state judge Arthur Engoron. Trump family kingpin-head digitally whined,
“Leave my children alone, Engoron. You are a disgrace to the legal profession!” The world’s
blackest pot going after the kettle.
Naturally, Trump’s stupidity is misdirected.
Judge Engoron has nothing to do with Trump’s “children” testifying. They (and
he) were subpoenaed to testify by the state’s Attorney General Letitia James
because they are all co-defendants. And criminals.
Daddy did not show up to support his children as they
testified. This will make it easier on him when he throws them all under the
golf cart.
I. Mangrey reporting. Are you not entertained?
Medieval
MAGA Mike – Not Just Anti-Choice, But Anti-Contraception
November 6, 2023
As Americans
desperately try to find out who and what the fuck Speaker of the House Mike
Johnson is, a new documentary cobbled together by the entertainment department
at Paying Attention™ is hitting the streets at this very moment.
Mike and his ilk are
unwaveringly, unrelentingly, mercilessly pro-fetus. They are anti-science, anti-woman,
anti-child, but boy do they love them some fetus. Some day soon, mark my words,
probably somewhere in Mississippi, or Alabama, or Florida, one of them will
marry one.
It is no secret that
most members of the Fascist/Trump Party love the unborn infinitely more than
the care about the already born. They absolutely despise the vast majority of
people who are born. They give not even a fraction of a fuck about people of color,
women of any color, anyone who has a “non-traditional” thought about sex or
gender, or anyone making less than seven figures. But just try and lay a finger
on anything inside a womb, and they will shoot you dead on the spot. Or at
least that is what they would like to do, and don’t kid yourself, they are
already hard at work drafting legislation to make that completely legal.
Look What’s Talking
One thing we do know about MAGA Mike is that he got his job by the grace of Trump who made five babies with three wives. Johnson’s lips may be moving, but his words are Trump’s (except for all the whacko, cherry-picked, misinterpreted, Christo-fascist garbage). Trump likely cannot even spell Bible. The only time he ever touched a Bible other than putting his greasy little paw atop one while being sworn in, he was holding it upside-down and using it as a cynical prop.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled screaming into a pillow.
Howard
Johnson Is Right! Mike Johnson Is Full Of Fucking Shit
November 5, 2023
In some ways this is no big deal, or at least nothing new. Just another Ratpublican who believes America is simply a haven for rich White men to do as they please, who thinks his job as a public servant comprises stealing from the poor and giving to the rich. That and ensuring that everyone believe what he believes, does as he says, and otherwise shuts the fuck up. Another god-addled nincompoop who created God in his image and insists that a very old book series is factually the word of that invisible being who may or may not exist and made America in His image – He apparently being an all-powerful White Christian male.
Fuck The Constitution, I’m A Bible Guy
Today’s Schmuck Of The Day is none other than
newly-anointed Speaker of the House Mike “I Am The Bible Incarnate” Johnson.
“By the way, the United
States of America is not a democracy…You know what a democracy is? It’s two
wolves and a sheep deciding what’s for dinner. You don’t want to be in a
democracy. OK? Majority rule – not always a good thing.”
One
aspect of Johnson’s horrifying drivel above is kind of right. The United States
is not a democracy. Our democracy has practically been gerrymandered and Electoral Colleged to death – and don’t get me started on the
corporate stranglehold (including the outright ownership of at least two
Supreme Court “justices.” Everything else Johnson says (not just here, but so far everything we know about) is complete and utter bullshit.
In
a democracy, people pick their leaders. In the United States, for quite some
time now, leaders pick their electorate thanks to gerrymandering. Johnson’s
Fascist/Trump Party almost always gets fewer votes in most states, but thanks
to their ability to draw electoral maps that make them impervious to voters,
they have a much larger representation than the voting populace at large would
actually prefer.
Ratpublicans
cannot win the popular vote for president. If not for gerrymandering they would
rarely if ever hold a majority in the House of Representatives. If not for the
racist Electoral College, they would probably never occupy the White House.
So,
in Johnson’s America it’s not so much two wolves and a sheep deciding what’s
for dinner. It’s more like two wolves who just ate the sheep and then asking,
“What’s for dinner?”
It might seem unfair to single out Johnson
as the sole Schmuck Of The Day; after all, 220 Fascist/Trump Party assholes chose him
to be speaker – they too singled him out as their one-thing-to-rule-them-all, so we’re going to
stand by our choice for today’s one-and-only Schmuck Of The Day.
No doubt the competition
for the next Schmuck Of The Day will again be fierce going forward.
__________________________________________________
*I know, his name’s not Dick, he just is one.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. God
help us.
The Time (To
Change The Time) Has Come Today
November 4, 2023
Or, you could scroll down for Thursday's fresh, new content.
Every Day Is Still January 6th
November 7, 2021
Speaking of shooting in the streets, some
trigger fingers are getting itchy now.
One particularly candid MAGAt
barfed up this gem at a town hall, “At this point, we're living under corporate
and medical fascism. This is tyranny. When do we get to use the guns? No, and
I'm not — that's not a joke. I'm not saying it like that. I mean, literally,
where's the line? How many elections are they going to steal before we kill
these people?” Morons like this guy are just too confused (and insanely
violent) for words. If he had any idea what he was talking about, he would go
all Second Amendment on the fascist fuckwit with the vacant look he sees in his
mirror.
It apparently bears repeating that the 9/11
hijackers killed around 3000 Americans. The mass murderer Turmp is responsible
for hundreds of thousands of dead Americans thanks to his coddling of COVID-19.
It is entirely possible that more than 3000 of his followers died from
ingesting disinfectant, as advised by their cult leader.
According to Turmp’s COVID response chief Dr.
Deborah Birx, Dear Leader’s insane response to the pandemic cost 130,000
American lives. Others put that number considerably higher. Either way, Turmp,
like his buddy Bolsonaro in Brazil, should be tried for crimes against
humanity.
And thank God we have Ted Cruz standing up on
his hind legs to protect the rights of parents flashing Nazi salutes at school
board meetings because of mask mandates. Ted’s home state of Texass, having
already outlawed legal abortions by siccing radical Christian vigilantes on
anyone associated with anyone seeking an abortion, now has set its
legally-blind sights on banning 850 books on race and sexuality. Freedom! First
Amendment! God bless white America.
Many people are saying that Ratpublicans are
anti-democracy. That is not a point I could possibly argue. What I haven’t
heard any people saying is that not only are they anti-democracy, they are
fighting, red in tooth and claw, against civilized society. With their Second
Amendment fetishism, their attempted martyring of the January 6 terrorists,
their disgraceful obedience to a disgraced, authoritarian, twice-impeached,
failed Florida blogger, they are clearly inciting and cultivating a bowel-esque
movement of hatred, racism and an approach to society that is much more early
hominid than 21st Century human. Ratpublicans hate democracy in no
small part because democracy is not the least bit fond of them.
I could be wrong.*
I. Mangrey
re-assembling.
* Obviously,
I meant I couldn’t be wrong.
November 2, 2023
Just
so we’re clear. The Make America Great Again crowd does not want to make
America greater than it ever was. They want to make America great in the way
they thought it was great in the past, but again – as the plagiarized slogan
states.
MAGAts
believe that America was at its best before civil rights, voting rights,
women’s rights, LGBTQ rights or a social safety net. Before there were
restrictions on monopolies, regulations on health, safety, the environment. It
is entirely possible that they are simply too stupid to know what they believe,
especially since their feckless leaders – the people they keep electing (thanks
to toxic gerrymandering) to fuck everything up – don’t believe in anything
except hurting poor people, helping rich people and seeing themselves on
television or social media. Oh, and ending democracy in order to keep
themselves in power in perpetuity and ad nauseam.
Don't MAGA On Me
As if
anyone was unsure of what these yahoos want, they just installed one of the
most backward-looking, radically-religious, MAGAt-y moron back-benchers as
Speaker of the Fucking House. MAGA Mike Johnson is poised to shut down the
government, aid and abet Russia by cutting off funding to Ukraine, and if given
enough time, demand everyone in America pray to his blond, white Jesus before
being permitted to leave their homes every day.
I
promise you that given the option, with all other things being equal, these
MAGAts would not bat an eye at the reinstatement of slavery. And this includes
the likes of Supreme Court (in)justices Samuel Alito, Clarence “Uncle” Thomas
and Chief (In)justice John “Racism-is-Over-in-America” Roberts.
They
– and when I say they, I mean those who have conned all the rubes into
believing they have their best interests in mind, when in fact they are just
taking their money and enriching themselves – would like to see America become
nothing more than some sort of corporate colony, where the federal government
is all but powerless and everything centers around private ownership, profit
and above all else suffocating greed. They want to privatize our roads, our
waterways, our healthcare, prisons, and who knows what else. They want to
eliminate all services for the poor, Social Security (literally and
figuratively), Medicare and voting. Other than that, they are very fine people.
And by that I mean they have not yet been caught eating babies (something they
have been accusing others of doing), though one assumes they would like to
privatize them.
I
seem to remember a time even further back than what appears to be their ideal
America. A time when giant corporations ruled the land like carnivorous
dinosaurs (which these idiots believe co-existed with humans a few years ago).
A time when a few rabble rousers talked about Common Sense, said things like,
“No taxation without representation,” or “Give me liberty or give me death.” Some
of them, their identities cloaked beneath Mohawk costumes, threw hundreds of
chests filled with one of their most favored commodities – as I recall, it was
tea – into Boston Harbor to protest the stranglehold the East India Company and
the fascistic (yes, I just dropped the F-bomb) British Empire.
Give
Them Stupidity, Or Give Them Death…Maybe Both
Meanwhile,
today, the guy at the head of this MAGA snake has been selling this county out
since the moment he pretended to take the oath of office after losing the
popular vote by a landslide. Giving up national security secrets, stealing
classified documents, inciting an insurrection, and being the most
anti-American president in this nation’s history. He and his legion of
treacherous cretins are busy throwing democracy into the sea.
I. Mangrey recalling.
Harangue Mike Pence! Harangue Mike Pence!
November 1, 2023
Hangman’s Hall-of-Famer Mike Pence was briefly in the news again recently. He made what he seemed to imagine was a big announcement. No doubt Pence entered the Fascist/Trump Party primary because it was ordained. Apparently, Jesus changed his mind about what faithful servant (and perpetual lying sack of shit) was meant to do. Pence told those present
“The Bible tells us that there’s a time for every
purpose under heaven. Traveling across the country over the past six months, I
came here to say it’s become clear to me that it’s not my time.”
I
guess Pence was the only one who didn’t know he was much more likely to be
hanged on January 6, 2021 than to be sworn in on January 20, 2025.
Today's
question is:
Were
you surprised to learn that Mike Pence dropped out of the 2024 presidential race,
or were you more surprised to learn that he had ever even been in the race?
This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.
