Trump Testifies Against Himself
November 8, 2023
Trump seen here in court looking like he died a week ago
Demented, deranged degenerate Trump thought it would be a good idea to shoot off his mouth in court. Yesterday Defendant Trump took the witness stand and spent his time blowing gaskets, insulting the judge who is the sole arbiter in Donny Dearest’s civil fraud trial, and confessing to personally perpetrating fraud, while also implicating his sons and other officers of the soon-to-be-defunct Trump Organization. Donald also made sure to impress upon the court that he does not know when he was president and when he was not.
The reason Trump did not get a jury trial – something he has been whining about for weeks, claiming he is being depraved…I mean deprived of his rights – is because his idiot lawyer (to Trump’s left below) Alina Habba (who was hired because of her resemblance to Melanie who Trump has not seen for several months) forgot to file the paperwork requesting a jury trial.
After Trump’s inarguably disastrous display on the witness stand, one of Trump’s bargain-basement lawyers (to Trump’s right above) told the assembled press outside the courthouse, “In 33 years I have never had a witness testify better. An absolutely brilliant performance by president [his word, not mine] Trump.” Clearly this moron is just trying to butter up his flattery-addicted client to do something he almost never does – pay his attorneys.
I suppose one could
think Trump’s testimony was brilliant if his goal was to goad the judge into
completely crippling Trump’s business so-called empire. Trump’s guilt had
already been decided before the testimony of the past two weeks. The judge is
merely deciding how harsh a financial punishment to slap on the incredibly
guilty conman from Queens. With any luck, it will ruin his miserable excuse for
a life.
Trump seems to be
trying to find out if he can make as much money bilking his cult followers out
of their money as he made doing whatever the fuck he had been doing before
destroying the presidency and our democracy.
Judge Arthur Engoron to Trump’s attorneys
The final witness
will testify later today – Trump’s daughter Ivanka. I wonder if Trump will
still want to date her after her testimony.
It is time for Trump
to join Dick Cheney for little hunting trip.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
ennui.
No comments:
Post a Comment