December 27, 2023
This is not as new
as some of our past Broken News (not to be confused with Fractured Fairy Tales)
scoops. This never-ending-story began long ago, but seems to be reaching what
most of us hope is its fever pitch.
We are referring to
the no-holds-barred, knock-down-drag-out battle for stupidity supremacy in the
Fascist (nee Ratpublican) Party. I would not want to be the one charged with
deciding on the “winner.”
I really did not
want to even mention this latest un-reality show, but there were too many
requests. People kept stopping me in the street with tears in their eyes –
some of them big strong men who never cried in their lives – pleading, “Sir,
would you please say something about all these horrible, pathetic debates to
see who will get to have their head up Donald Trump’s ass the farthest for
2024?”
Well, the debates are over and it's all over but the counting. At this point all I can muster is this…
If you thought the
collection of crackpots, creeps and nitwits vying for favor in the 2016 Fascist Party primary were
pathetic losers, and I’m fairly certain you did, this latest crop, though
lacking in numbers, makes up for that by an overwhelming display of psychosis,
idiocy and above all, fascist fuckwittery. All in the name of seeing who can come within 50
points of Der Furor, who despite 91 indictments hanging over his
Crayola-colored face (I believe that particular hue is called Putrid Pumpkin)
and comically-coiffed “hair.”
Meanwhile, most of
corporate media is caterwauling about how old Joe Biden is.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled pogrom.
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