Not
A Thousand Words, But Worth It
August 27, 2025
Any
resemblance to Stephen Miller, Trump and Tulsi Gabbard are entirely purposeful
_____________________________________________
*Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
So Many Prizes, So Little Reason
August 25, 2025
Well, Dirty Donnie managed to take people’s minds off his
disgraceful bromance (if not partnership) with Jeffrey Epstein. He did this by
embarrassing himself and this nation at the feet of his old benefactor Putin at the recent much ballyhooed though ultimately miserably failed Alaska Submit.
Trump’s gross impotence, his abject failure to get the ceasefire he “demanded”
beforehand or even make any kind of deal to mitigate the devastation Putin continues
to visit upon Ukraine (who was a staunch ally until the American Fuhrer took
the reins for an incomprehensible second term) got the attention of many. Putin
treated Trump like he was an extension of the red carpet he walked in on. Trump
was as usual uneducated, unprepared and – worst and least surprising of all –
uninterested. The Alaska fiasco will likely soon be relegated to the backs of
most minds, to be displaced by the Epstein fiasco, which will also soon turn to
dust.
Despite Trump being undeniably owned by Putin in Alaska (who
bombed an American factory in Ukraine just days after having his way with Dumb
Donnie), leaving no end in sight for the war Trump pathetically blames on Joe
Biden, and which Trump repeatedly claimed he would end not just on day one, but
before he even took over the White House he and his moronic minions attempted
to destroy, Little Donnie Disaster still wants him some Nobel Peace Prize. He claims
to have stopped seven or nine or who-knows-how-many wars all by himself.
Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, is of course the
only historical figure worthy of having some of the most prestigious prizes in
numerous disciplines bearing his name. Most people are focused on the Nobel
Peace Prize, but there are quite a few other Nobel Prizes: for literature,
physics, medicine, chemistry and economic sciences.
The Noball Prize for impotent
idiots is hopefully as close as he gets
Get ready for Trump to whine about all the Nobel Prizes he
thinks he deserves:
Peace: “I am bringing peace to the entire world; that
is just a fact. No one in history has been better at peace than Trump. That is
why I am also bringing peace to American cities that are being subjugated by
non-white mayors. I’d like to see you try this. Only Trump has the very, very
large uh-brain capable of doing such a thing. You’ll notice that on other
president even thought about occupying American cities in order to put a stop
to non-existent emergencies. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
Literature: “I have been patiently waiting for my
Nobel in literature for my beautiful and might I add brilliant God Bless the
U.S.A. Bible – no one else was smart enough to have the Constitution added in
there. Or the lyrics to a Lee Greenwood song. Very smart. Plus, I have had many
other books with my name and picture on the cover that were written by actual
writers.”
Physics: “You might not know this, because I’ve never
mentioned it before. Frankly I don’t like to talk about it. My uncle was a
genius professor at MIT for eighty years. Since he never got a Nobel Prize and
passed his very good brain on to me I will accept a physics prize, since I am
probably the smartest person who ever lived.”
Medicine: “I know this is more recent, buy I’m the
one who nominated Brainworm Bobby to make medicine illegal. This will no doubt
have a very positive effect on the health of our nation. Nobel Prize, pleas.”
Chemistry: “No one has better chemistry with the very
strong and tough Vladimir Putin than Trump. I have so much chemistry, probably
the most chemistry of any person in history.”
Economic Sciences: “Besides being one of the most
successful businessmen of all time, I am the king of bankruptcies. I have also
saved the entire world with my incredibly brilliant tariff policies.”
“It would probably be best to just give me all the Nobel
Prizes at one time in case I end up being outed as Jeffrey Epstein’s accomplice
in his global pedophilia/sex trafficking operation. Too bad there’s no Nobel
Prize for those very normal and harmless lifestyles of the rich and
famous.”
I. Mangrey reporting.
August 23, 2025
I was
rummaging around the internets and came across this beautiful farm
I can't afford it but I think Donald Trump should buy the farm.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
The Success, Brightness And Future Of Slavery
August 22, 2025
Unsurprisingly, the repeatedly self-professed “least racist person you’ve ever met” posted on his anti-Truth anti-Social fake Twitter/X account last Tuesday
There truly is only one thing to say to Captain Whitey – one of the most racist people you've ever seen – who goes to absurd lengths to hide just how fucking pasty-faced he really is…I mean seriously, underneath that caked-on cantaloupe-colored concoction, and down to the depths of his fake soul, the guy is white as a sheet
_________________________________________
*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good
chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next three-and-a-half
years. Sorry.
This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually
Fucking Said This™*
Remember, things will get worse before they get much worse. And then, it’s
anyone’s fucking guess.
Dosvedonald
August 21, 2025
Fresh off his historic summit submit with his Russian idol, “Dictator-On-Day-One” Don is taking election advice from
his role model, the murderous dictator Putin. During his Alaska Submission
Mission with Putin, Trump became giddy as a schoolgirl before realizing that
the big break promised her by Jeffrey Epstein was actually a “date” with Trump,
by Putin stating for all the world to hear that Trump won the 2020 election due
to the use of mail-in ballots. You could almost see Donnie blush right through
the brand new paint job he got especially for his big date. Vlad the Impaler II
told the syphilis-addled dementia patient Trump that he should ban mail-in
voting. So you’ll never not guess what America’s first tsar Crassputin did
next.
Tsar And Wide
Crassputin has already begun building his own army of
mercenary mental patients, aka ICE, who are making big money to run rampant in
American cities with Black mayors. Now, red-state-rejects are being sent to
blue cities to help terrorize the populace of those cities. Tourism in
Washington, DC is almost non-existent now that the nation’s capital is under
Trumpian occupation. Der Furor has promised more of the same across the country.
This of course is part of his plan to keep Democrats away from the polls in
case he is unable to cancel midterm elections next November. It will not be for
lack of trying if he fails.
Per Crassputin, “We are now the only Country in the World
that uses Mail-In Voting. All others gave it up because of the MASSIVE VOTER
FRAUD ENCOUNTERED.” Unsurprisingly, this is total bullshit. You can tell it’s
bullshit because Trump said it. Germany, Switzerland, Poland, Spain, Japan, the
UK, Ireland, Iceland, Australia, New Zealand and Canada use mail-in voting.
Death-To-America Don prefers in-person voting because “They
asked me for my license plate for identity. I said, I don't know if I have it.”
Yes everyone must present their license plates at the local polling place. I guess
just like the founding fathers wanted only white, male land owners to vote,
today’s floundering farters want only white, male car owners, with valid
license plates, to vote.
A guy named Vladimir Putin changed Russia’s electoral laws to
allow mail-in voting in 2020 in his dictatorship. That is presumably why he can
say with tremendous certitude that mail-in ballots can be used to rig
elections. According to president Bubblebrain, Putin said unto him “It’s
impossible to have mail-in voting and have honest elections.” This Putin guy
also had the laws changed so that he could remain in power in perpetuity…or ad
nauseam if you prefer.
To some it might seem counterintuitive to take advice on the
democratic process from a brutal dictator who routinely has opponents put to
death in myriad ways. Dumb Donald must be so jealous.
So hold on to your seats folks, because the people you
elected may not be able to hold on to theirs much longer. After Dumb Old Trump,
via the renegade Supreme Court, outlaws Congress.
I. Mangrey, still crazy reporting after all these
years.
Another
Horrible Cover-up
Desperate Don’s Combover And Over And Over, Etc.
August 19, 2025
Oops, you missed a spot streak
It’s
possible that what’s going on outside his head is
even more convoluted than what’s going on inside it
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic(s) Of The Day.
Neither Noble Nor Nobel
August 18, 2025
After Doofus Trump rolled out the blood-red carpet and
prostrated himself to murderous war criminal Putin, humiliating himself and our
country, he simply washed his hands and patted himself on the back after a
hand-job well done.
After mastering the art of the no-deal Donnie whined that “the
Fake News violently distorts the TRUTH when it comes to me”, adding “If I got
Russia to give up Moscow as part of the Deal, the Fake News, and their PARTNER,
the Radical Left Democrats, would say I made a terrible mistake and a very bad
deal.”
Um, Donald, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to get
Russia to give up Moscow, I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our
press. Asshole.
As usual, Donnie was very objective in assessing his unparalleled
greatness. “I think the meeting was a ‘ten’ because we got along great. The meeting
was a warm meeting. You know, he’s a strong guy, he’s tough as hell.”
A strong guy? What?
Did they fucking arm wrestle? Greco-Roman? What the actual fuck?
They got along great? What was this, a fucking episode of The
Dating Game?
“Well Donnie, this is the big
moment. Who’s it gonna be? Bachelor #1, #2 or #3?”
“Ooooh, I don’t know. I Think #3 – he sounds so strong and tough.
I think we’ll get along great. I want to have his child.”
The Consternation Prize
The Prize For Pees (In Pants)
Now he expects a Nobel Peace Prize* because he fancies
himself a “peace president”. One thing this peacemaker forgot to bring –
Volodymyr Zelenskyy. This was like throwing a birthday party for someone and
not inviting them. Oddly, nothing whatsoever was achieved by this “summit”
other than cementing Putin’s ownership of Trump’s balls.
The closest he’ll ever get
To paraphrase Gil Scott Heron, Donald Trump is the ‘peace’
president – a piece of Columbia, a piece of Harvard, a piece of CBS, a piece of
Washington, D.C . He is simply running a protection racket: Nice college you
got there, be a shame if somethin’ happened to it. Nice law firm you got there,
be a shame if somethin’ happened to it. Nice network you got there, be a shame
if somethin’ happened to it. Nice city you got there, actually, your city is a
rotten mess, we’re gonna fix it up real nice for ya.
Trump doesn’t have an off switch. He is an off switch.
________________________________________________
*He only craves it because it
is gold.
I. Mangrey reporting.
More Like This
August 17, 2025
Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner had some choice
words for Drear Leader. Dictator-in-training Trump first sent the Marines to
occupy Los Angeles. Now he has National Guard troops occupying Washington, D.C. to
handle an imaginary crime wave.
Krasner all but dared the criminal-in-chief to pull his racist authoritarian shit in the home of the room where it happened. And he did not take any crap from CNN’s Caitlin Collins either.
Is It Day One Yet?
August 16, 2025
“Before I even arrive at the Oval Office, shortly after we
all together win the presidency, we will have the horrible war between Russia
and Ukraine settled. It will be settled. The war is going to be settled. I’ll
get them both – I know Zelensky, I know Putin, it’ll be done within 24 hours,
you watch. They all say, ‘That’s such a boast.’ It will be done very quickly.”
Donald
Trump, July 2023*
Well, Trumpy the Clown once again got his ass handed to him
by Vladimir Putin. Before Trumpy literally rolled out the red carpet for Russia’s
murderous dictator, Putin’s #2 man Sergei Lavrov showed up in Alaska (or
Russia, as Trumpy called it) sporting a CCCP (USSR) t-shirt to make sure that everyone
in the world would know the main purpose of this tete-a-taint was to humiliate
Trumpy, who has never vacillated in his obeisance to Putin. Lavrov has previously
always worn a suit and tie when he is in town obtaining national security
secrets directly from Trumpy.
Lavrov arriving in Alaska
rubbing Trump’s face in his own poop
Donnie’s campaign for the Nobel Peace Prize suffered yet
another blow-job as the world watched The Don struggle to get up from his knees
after the Summit-Minus-One where nothing of substance happened. The alleged
peace talks, which excluded the country that was invaded by Putin, resulted in
another embarrassing, disgraceful show of farce by the American president.
No agreement was reached. No agreement was discussed. No concept
of an agreement was mentioned when Putin blathered on for 10 of the 12 minutes of post-summit statements about what great friends
Russia and America are, followed by a very weak and brief statement by a clearly
drained and useless Trumpy.
Trumpy gave himself a ten-out-of-ten for his performance in
this Alaska summit/farce. All one can do is wonder if he swallows, or if there
is now a stain on his blue dress suit. Putin still owns Trumpy lock,
stock and blubber.
Tune in next time when we learn that Dancing Donnie is selling weapons to Russia to help end the war in Ukraine. And Ukraine.
______________________________________________
*Trump said things to this
effect 53 times while campaigning, later claiming it was “figurative” and/or
said in “jest”. Ha, fucking ha.
I. Mangrey, taking a break from vomiting just long enough to
keep reporting.
