Schmuck Of The Day, Week, Month And Year

It Hurt So Hard I Laughed

September 28, 2022

It dawned on me a few days ago that we hadn’t updated our Fuck Joe Manchin for a while. Or, to dial back the entirely justified foul language, Schmuck, Joe Manchin. And what do you know, he suddenly shows up in the news and on my tv again after lurking in the shadows, or more likely a thick cloud of fossil fuel emissions, for several months. Anti-environment Joe is out hawking his latest attempt to speed up the climate crisis.

I found it incredibly, albeit painfully, amusing that Mansion was whining about how Democrats and Ratpublicans should be supporting his new piece-of-shit bill to ramp up fossil fuel extraction. Old King Coal’s bill proposes major federal permitting reforms that would weaken environmental review laws and clear the way for pipelines and other polluting fossil fuel infrastructure.

Dirty Sidewinder

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) called Mansion’s effort a “dirty side deal” adding, “We can listen to the fossil fuel industry and the politicians they pay or we can listen to the scientists and the environmental community to reject this side deal and eliminate the $15 billion in subsidies Congress is already providing to big oil and gas companies each and every day.” Presumably, Sanders did not include the phrase “Fuck Joe Manchin” in his remarks, though it is not unlikely that those words have passed his lips in private, or at the very least whirled around the frustrated Vermont senator’s brain from time to time. We will not venture to put those words in his mouth, but we hope to help ease them into yours.

Somehow, it always feels like Ratpublicans get into office (usually on a technicality, without a majority or mandate) and just do whatever the fuck they want. Then Democrats scratch and claw their way into office and have to struggle to get anything done thanks to the likes of fucking Joe Manchin* – great protector of corporate overlords, fossil fuels, and fucking hypocrisy.

I am not saying the following to be rude or mean, just accurate. Joe Manchin is one seriously schmucked up motherschmucker.

___________________________________________________
*And it would be wrong to forget about fellow schmuck and senator Mitch McConnell called the “most effective first-term senator I've seen in my time in the Senate” – none other than thorn-in-the-genitals – Kyrsten “The Filibuster Is Our Friend” Sinema (?-AZ)

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah.