Q and A(holes)

And You Thought You Had Problems

March 30, 2021

If you’re reading this, you’re probably too darn close, but that is not what I came here to talk about. If you are reading this, I would wager that there is a less-than-zero chance you are a follower of the all-powerful, all-knowing, albeit perpetually 100% wrong, alleged entity known as Q.

At August 19, 2020 press tantrum, Donald Tumrp replied to a question about QAnon, “I don’t know much about the movement other than I understand they like me very much. Which I appreciate. But I don’t know very much about the movement. I have heard that it is gaining in popularity…” Turmp then proceeded to explain at some length that he did in fact know quite a bit about them, particularly about them being very upset about all the Black Lives Matter protests across the country. He continued, “So, I don’t know really anything about it other than they do supposedly like me.” And after all, in his badly damaged brain, nothing else really matters.

This might be Q itself, or just another intellectual invalid

QAnon followers, who may number in the millions, are not only willing to believe anything other than what most sentient beings would consider to be objective reality, they are also mortal enemies of anti-fascists, as they revel in what they are sold is “The Great Awakening”. The favorite theme at the root of all QAnon psychoses is the conspiracy theory that a cabal of satanic pedophiles and cannibals controls world governments and the media.

One thing they believe is that people like Hillary Clinton, George Soros and Tom Hanks eat babies for their rejuvenative powers. My question, beside the obvious WTF, is how do they know that eating babies has rejuvenative powers unless they themselves have eaten enough babies to know it works?

And You Thought I Had Problems

It turns out that some research has unearthed something so unsurprising, so stunningly obvious one wonders why this bit of information – that almost 70% QAnon addicts are a little funny in the head (as opposed to 19% of the general population) – had not emerged sooner. I suppose most people always assumed that a large majority of those who admit to being part of the QAnon looney-bin, have been formally diagnosed with mental health issues – I know I did. And, we are not talking about just the lack of intellectual curiosity, capacity or character. We are talking about serious, often debilitating psychological conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia. You know, the kind of people you can really count on to run your government. This doesn’t make them bad people, just millions of dangerous mental patients who flew over the cuckoo’s nest.

Nobody Expects The Stupid Insurrection

Clearly, many QAnon adherents are 51 cards short of a full deck. But they are frighteningly effective at making themselves heard. For those of you keeping score at home, their chief weapon is stupidity. Stupidity and brain damage…brain damage and stupidity…and ruthless racism…their three weapons are brain damage, stupidity, and ruthless racism…and an almost fanatical devotion to Donald Turmp…Their four…no…Amongst their weapons…Amongst their weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise...I'll come in again.

If you squeeze the Q shaman, be sure to
wash your hands and drink plenty of bleach

The only thing that surprised me was how low the number is. Could it really be true that more than 30% of the people who actually believe any or all of the provably insane bullshit coming from Q do NOT have serious, verifiable mental problems?

Stupid Is As Stupid Doozy

Garret Miller, the most recent arrestee from what Turmp described as just a bunch of “hugging and kissing the police and the guards” on January 6^th deserves a great big shout out. Having already tweeted “assassinate AOC” while defiling the Capitol, the FBI says Miller also posted a selfie on F*#$book with the comment, “just wanted to incriminate myself a little lol”. Who’s LOLing now?

Federal agents found this very-stable-genius-lover sporting the perfect attire when they showed up at his house to “congratulate” him for his brilliant choice of endeavors on January 6^th. The feces icing on this fuckwit’s shit cake, was his shirt with a photograph of Turmp, which said “Take America Back” and “I Was There, Washington D.C., January 6, 2021.” We know you were there asshole. Everyone knows you were there. You posted pictures of yourself at the scene of the crime. That, oddly enough, is how you got caught, genius. If I were you, I’d hurry up and eat a bunch of babies – you’re gonna need your strength in prison.

I. Mangrey regenerating.