Paying Attention: Resignation Day(s) 2024, Day Two

No More Shopping Days Left Before Resignation Day(s)

In case you forgot where we left off

August 9, ~~2023~~2024

Party like it’s 1974

If there could be anything better than impeaching someone like Richard Nixon (once) or Donald Turmp (twice), it would be indicting someone like Donald Turmp and finding him guilty, perhaps even LOCKING HIM UP. With Nixon, it was said that the cover-up was worse than the crime. That might be true. After all, at least according to Nixon – before everyone learned it was his idea – Watergate was nothing more than a “third-rate burglary.”

In the case of Turmp, there has, at least not since the bombing of Ft. Sumpter, been anything worse than his long-planned attempted coup. Sure, the cover-up is a veritable smorgasbord of crimes, but the planning, inciting and attempted in-person leading of the assault on the Capitol is tough to beat. Then, there was all of potential evidence was deleted from phones belonging to members of the Secret Service, the Department of Homeland Security, and the Department of Defense. It appears that all of these government agencies wiped their text messages right after Turmp’s attempted coup.

I have heard some say it will be all but impossible to LOCK HIM UP. This is due to the requirement for all living presidents, ex or otherwise, twice-impeached or otherwise, anti-American or otherwise, guilty as fucking hell of trying to overturn a legitimate election or otherwise, to have round-the-clock Secret Service protection for life (with or without parole). This would necessitate incarcerating some number of agents along with their protectee. However, I have an idea. Let’s round up the SS agents who deleted their text messages related to January 6 and post them with the man they protected, and they can all do time together. This is why I get the big bucks…or would, if I got any bucks at all.

Those Who Don’t Learn From History
Are Doomed To Fuck It Up For The Rest Of Us

Before we regale you – or perhaps gale you for the first time – with this year’s brand-new verses of the old holiday favorite ‘Twas The Night Before Resignation, on Day 2 of Resignation Day(s), here are a few highlights from the ghost of Resignation Day(s) past.

Just a few more hops down memory lane before the main event:

2013

Pardon me for not forgetting. Pardon me for not letting it go after all these years. Pardon me for dragging you into my obsession. I just can’t seem to quit the man who tarnished America, no easy feat, and then quit rather than face the music. I don’t care if he’s dead, I still want to impeach Nixon. It’s never too late for justice to be done. I know it will never happen in this case, but that doesn’t make it right.

Those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed. Period. And that’s the way it is. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

2014

Thanks Ed, that was a treat as always. I hope you don’t mind if I add a verse or two for today’s holiday season…

Once more it’s that season, now Obama’s the one
New Impeachers are restless, and each has a gun.
They are angry and senseless, and each one is White
No need for good reason, they just want to fight.

So let’s watch in amusement, as they trip o’er their tongues
As they sputter and spew and expel from their lungs
All the hot air and spittle, all the BS and blight,
Keep it up silly Crackers, and to all a good-night!

2016

Tiny hands, tiny brain, tiny what-the-fuck-ever,
You will lose very bigly and be president…NEVER
Go prepare your next bankruptcy, it’s what you do best
You whiny Tweet-aholic, and sanity’s pest

2017

The endless lies and insanity assaulting us all,
By Constitution, our right and our duty - this Chrump thing must fall.
So I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight,
More Impeachment to all, and to all a good-night!

2018

Impeachment, resigning once more fill the air,
Now dash away blob with your FAKE orange “hair”,
This Chrump works for Putin, and amplifies hate,
He’s racist, he’s fascist; ain’t America great?

Though mostly Chrump’s tweeting and golfing galore,
He’s doing great damage, let’s show him the door.
Fake “hair”, phony color, his face sphincter speaks,
Let’s vote like we mean it and be rid of this freak.

Colluding, conspiring, with Russia, oh no!
Won’t tell his own people what he said to our foe.
This treasonous cretin makes us all sick and tired,
Let’s pray the next Congress will tell him, “YOU’RE FIRED.”

2019

We heard from The Mueller, in a manner of speaking
He said there were crimes, he said there was sneaking
He all but said, “Congress, it’s time to impeach,”
He said indicting and punishing was out of his reach.

Still helping the Russians help him get re-elected,
With his treason, stealing children from their parents and torturing them, denying climate crisis, treating international allies like dirt and generally
His crimes are innumerable, his racism steady
Impeach The Mother Fucker Already!

2020

‘Twas the night before Resignation

So we had our impeachment, if fell with a squish,
We thought he would go down, did not get our wish.
Chrump escaped, abetted by old Moscow Mitch,
That dastardly, reptilian son-of-a-bitch.

Only one thing might stop this walking crime ‘gainst humanity,
This shit storm perpetrated by this terrestrial manatee.
A second Chrump term will kill America, no doubt,
So, on November the 3^rd, VOTE HIM THE FUCK OUT!

2021

‘Twas the night before Resignation
(In 2021 it just gets verse)

Twice, there were Turmp crimes, and all through the House,
There were cries for impeachment, “Get rid of this louse!”*
The crimes were all proved, beyond shadow of doubt,
Witnesses, videos. Throw the bum out.

The country was nestled and nervous and scared,
Of the mad orange man, with the fake orange “hair.”
He bragged about crowd size and hands and whatever,
He promised to fight and stay president forever.

And despite all the evidence, and all the convincing,
Still half the country’s all his, the other half wincing.
It was easy to see that this Turmp was a fascist,
Who put any against him on his miles-long blacklist.

They impeached him not once, they impeached him then twice
The Senate stood by him, we never got to say, “Atsa nice.”
‘Cause he stayed on in office, swore he’d get re-elected,
But the voters said, “Fuck off! Go to hell! You’re rejected!”

The sorest of winners, could not handle such losing,
So he riled up his MAGAts, to believe his delusing,
Go take over the Capitol, it need not make sense,
And while you are at it, try hanging Mike Pence.

Never cared ‘bout America, repeatedly treasonous,
One can’t help but wonder just what the reason is,
Always siding with Putin, and threat’ning Ukraine
To get Hunter Biden? This fucker’s insane.

He whined and he moaned and incited insurrection,
All because he’s psychotic, no one wants his erection.
Turmp still thinks he’s president, or will be reinstated,
His tiny brain and reality are for sure unrelated.

Can the Democrats somehow get brains, spines and balls,
And stop the Turmp Party from having it all?
They unsuccessfully impeached him not once but twice,
There’s nothing left, but to impeach his ass thrice.

_____________________________________________________________
*Actually, the cries were “Impeach The Mother Fucker Already!” which didn’t rhyme with house and would have thrown off the rhythm completely.

2022

‘Twas the night before indictment, and all oer the place
America on the precipice of wars civil and race.
When all of a sudden, we heard such a clatter,
When Merrick Garland said finally, “Something’s the matter.”

Though now Turmp is gone, well not really but sorta
And at least we can’t feel his tiny hand on our aorta,
He is out of high office, the vote saw to that,
But Turmp just won’t accept it, his head is too fat.

He keeps whining and calling to get the votes changed
Turmp can’t let it go, he’s a fascist, deranged.
He deserves a subpoena, or at least an indictment,
For his scheming and plotting and his violent incitement.

For his eating, burning, shredding and stealing of documents,
And even mixing some in with his voluminous excrements,
The White House plumber (not Nixon’s) needed always be near.
For Turmp’s flushing of documents, no punishment too severe.

On Rudy, on Hawley, McCarthy and Gaetz,
On Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and oh how they hates.
They want a White nation of Christians, not Jews,
Their divorce from reality is surely not news.

Two impeachments, one term, there has not been one worse,
And the cause of such angst, and such torturous verse.
Drag him off by his feet, or his “hair” or whatever,
Let him back in the White House? Oh fuck no! Oh fuck, NEVER!

As Trump goes kicking, screaming and fake-tweeting into that good night (good for us, that is), we will continue our appointed rounds, unfazed. Well, maybe fazed, but undaunted.

So, without further ado, or a don’t, or a maybe, Paying Attention™ brings you our 2023 installment of the Resignation Day(s) festivities.

We’ve now had some indictments, p’rhaps justice is nigh,
Trump can’t keep his fat trap shut, is he stupid or high?
He confess to crimes, and he threatens the judges
Trump must have a death wish, he just never budges.

Trump declares many things, not one is a fact,
Like saying he’s protected by the Presidential Records Act.
He keeps claiming this thing, his head’s a latrine,
That act does not mean what he thinks that it means.

Donny Douchebag’s still running, for to stay out of jail,
And our justice moves slowly, at the pace of a snail.
We must hope that Jack Smith, can in court be successful,
And get orange jumpsuit and bars surrounding this asshul.

Will the Fascist Party nominate an indicted or convicted felon,
Who atop his shoulders sports a hollow, festering melon?
Will Trump serve as president from a crappy cell,
While the rest of America, slides into hell?

Only time will tell if there’s life after Trump,
Or our democratic republic ends up mildewed and buried in
the trash heap of history, in a rotting, smelly dump.
There’s no telling how dimly America’s light might flicker,
Before we just hope Climate Crisis ends it all quicker.

That is all for this year, there’s too much crazy shit,
So much stupid and criming, and dumb fascist twits.
Trump’s impeachments were foiled by McConnell, et al,
Despite that the House had him grabbed by the balls.

For us, now it’s back to news, needles and pins,
And the soul-crunching fear that Trump somehow wins.
Let’s think and let’s pray, and then hope and then vote,
So that Trump is pariah, when history’s wrote.