Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

Uncle Festering Speaks

April 8, 2025

“For decades our country has been pillaged, looted, raped and plundered by nations both near and far, friend and foe. In many cases, the friend is worse than the foe.”
                          Don Trump, April 2, 2025 “Liberation Day”

But he left out the punchline: I am putting a stop to that. I will do it myself.

Don Trump Actually Also Fucking Said This™**

                                “I think it’s going really well.”
Trump, after the markets crashed spectacularly as a direct and isolated result of his actions and his alone.

The context Uncle Festering wants us to believe is:

He knows exactly what he’s doing (like he did with running casinos and charities and dozens of extinct products...and COVID).

The context is likely one of two things (and possibly both): Trump is completely deranged and mentally incapacitated (which of course we’ve known forever), and/or it is in fact going really well, because he did this on purpose and always intended to destroy our economy and our democracy in service to Putin.

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.
**This time the context does matter and makes it so much worse.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse any way you slice it.