Radio WTAF Request Line - Time Hard

Ariel Baddass on the air and taking your requests

May 30, 2025

Hey boys and girls, cats and kitties, all the ships and clippers at sea. This is Ariel B spinning platters of various sizes, though we always defer to vinyl whenever possible.

I. Mangrey perusing the playlist

We’ve been focused on playing your requests, but sometimes your faithful DJ just has to take the old tonearm into her own hands and lay something on you that you might not know but are sure to request regularly once it gets into your system.

With such a vast quantity of  shit hitting so many fans, the Paying Attention news, entertainment and dire warning crew is doing everything they can to stay on top of the mountain of hourly disasters that is the current state of affairs. As I watch them stagger around our non-existent secret undisclosed location, it’s clear they need a little cheering up, a musical interlude if you will.

Here’s a catchy ditty, a little-known classic we know you’re gonna love. This one’s for me and the gang at Paying Attention™. And for you, the discerning public, yearning to breathe free. It’s one of our favorites, and really, pretty much the theme song around the office these days. I dare say there is no other song that so accurately, succinctly and pleasantly sums up our current situation.

Enjoy.

The Pioneers - Time Hard (1972)

Send us your requests and dedications and we’ll get ‘em on the air.

Exclusive Offer, Just For You

 

Making (Up) Money

May 25, 2025

This is your lucky day.

Get in on the ground floor. A special offer for you, the loyal Paying Attention™ sucker reader. As much as we value our unimpeachable integrity, times are tight and we gotta do what we gotta do to survive. Any day now we will start running out of precious commodities like toilet paper, Spam, string cheese, and everything made in China (which is just about everything). The prices of the few things that remain available are predicted to skyrocket. Also, the supply chain is poised to be disrupted, leaving us with, if I may coin a phrase, grocery store shelves resembling the COVID Times.

But this is about us, not you. And we need your money. And we need it more than you do because we are us and you are not. Not that we don’t appreciate you, just that we would appreciate you all the more if you would stop being so selfish and find it in your wallets to get in on this great deal.

On the heels of President Hungry Hippo-crit’s Give-Me-A-Million-Bucks-And-Then-Come-To-My-Gold-Plated-Roach-Motel-To-Lick-My-Balls gala at Mor-on-Lago, it is clear that something has to change here at Paying Attention™.

A recent article in Rolling Stone reported that the main regret (other than not completely destroying democracy) of his first term was that “he was wrong to leave a ton of money on the table as president.” Don felt bad about on occasion being persuaded “to side with government ethicists who cautioned him from obliterating the line between public good and private gain.”  

Clearly, this convicted felon is not going to make this same mistake twice, as evidenced by is billion-dollar-suck-up-bash, attended by those who bought the largest quantity of Don’s personal griftcoin. The mostly anonymous – some in masks – attendees were mostly foreign money…I mean people, looking to own a majority share in Trump – not the coin, but the president –  is all the proof we need of that – not to mention the literally countless other examples of all-the-proof-we-need-of-that.

Don’s spokesmodel claimed that her boss was doing his private money-making during his time as a private citizen, and not in his “capacity” as “president”. Unlike most, well, all, private citizens this pile of poop in a suit spoke to his adoring psychophants, in what critics called “an orgy of corruption” from behind the presidential seal. All of the $394 million of blood-money raised went right into Trump’s undeserving pockets.

Well friends, the team at Paying Attention™ is not going to make the mistake that #45 made. We are prepared to do whatever it takes to cash in while there’s still something left over after Il Douche rakes the rest of it in.

Fuck Dogecoin, which has fElon MusKKK’s stench all over it. Fuck Shitcoin or Trumpcoin or whatever the fuck Don is calling his own private non-existent fake money product. And so what if this fantasy financial free-for-all is already a massive accelerator of climate crisis.

Announcing the Paying Attention™’s new big, beautiful griftocurrency BITCHCOIN.

Yes, we are jumping into the fake money market. If it’s good enough for the president of the United States, who during his first attempt at destroying this nation said of cryptocurrency, “Bitcoin, it just seems like a scam. I don't like it because it's another currency competing against the dollar. It’s potentially a disaster waiting to happen. They may be fake. Who knows what they are? I think it’s a very dangerous thing.” Now that Donny Dollar is himself competing against the American dollar, cryptocurrency is apparently just fine.

This could be me!

So why should good people like us…well me, get left out in the fake money cold? Sure, griftocurrency doesn’t actually exist in the real world, but the real world is now a figment of the imaginations of Baby Boomers. But just because BITCHCOIN doesn’t exist doesn’t mean you can’t drop a few hundred, thousand, or even a million real bucks into the market. We practically guarantee that you will make double, triple or maybe even 1000 times your money back.*

Get yours now, while non-existent supplies last. You don’t want to be without toilet paper and BITCHCOIN. Well, do ya punk?

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*Eventually. There’s no actual timeframe, and you could just as easily (probably more likely) lose every penny when the fake market self-destructs, but don’t fret because your loss is our gain. Pretty cool, right?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Mandate

A Date That Will Live In Infamy

May 23, 2025

Dosvedonald continues to whine about his mythical 2024 election mandate. Even with the electorate’s misogyny, all the cheating – the dark money, perpetual voter intimidation and suppression, relentless Russian intrusion, the nothing-but-lies at the root of the campaign, and the who-knows-what-the-fuck-fElon-MusKKK-and-his-pre-DOGE-minions did to vote counting – Donsaster squeaked out a tiny, but no less disastrous win against Kamala Harris and democracy.

The only mandate Don has is Vladimir Putin*, and Putin only wants him for his destruction of the United States. It’s certainly not for his mind.

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*To be fair, it could also be Kim Jong Un, or Viktor Orbán, or Mohammed bin Salman or more recently, El Salvador’s Nayib Bukele.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – The Manchurian Comedian

Classless Clown

May 21, 2025

Don insists he was once again joking when he campaigned on “fixing the economy”. Either that or, as is happening more and more by the minute, he simply misspoke. If he meant to say “fucking the economy” then he is in fact keeping a campaign promise. Bigly.

He couldn’t possibly do any more damage to this country on every imaginable front, and on some you have yet to torture yourself into imagining, if he was doing it on purpose. Hey, wait a minute…

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Swimming To Scambodia

May 19, 2025

Swimming In Sewage Builds Character…Or Something

Unfortunately, I all too frequently find myself forced to think about RFingK, Jr. and his endless insane bullshit. Whether it be him advising people to do everything possible to die from preventable disease, his self-professed lack of any clue what is happening in the department he heads.

During recent testimony before Congress, Worm Wonder – the guy who generally won’t Shut. The Fuck. Up. about vaccines and debunked remedies testified “What I would say is my opinions about vaccines are irrelevant. I don’t think people should be taking advice, medical advice from me.” Then, one wonders, why don’t you keep your fucking stupid opinions, which you know full well millions of non-worm-brain-damaged dipshits obey like zombies, putting the rest of us at risk, to your worm-damaged self? Methinks he doth be full-of-shit too much.

RFingK, Jr. takes grandkids for the shittiest swim ever

Grandpa Bobby took his grandkids to swim in a local watering hole known for its sewage content. Rock Creek has been deemed unfit for human activity since the 1970s. There are still signs posted prohibiting swimming in the E coli-infested waters due to, you know, raw sewage being dumped into it. This is just like having RFingK, Jr. dumped into the American health care system.

Apparently, Bobby’s brainworm ate the part of his brain
that can smell raw sewage or read warning signs

Presumably, Roadkill Robby was hoping to find a dead bear to cook for dinner, or maybe just drive it around in his truck and dump it in Central Park or maybe on someone’s front lawn for fun.

The sheer stupidity of this episode is dwarfed by the fact that rather than keeping his incredibly irresponsible idiocy a family matter, Brainworm Bobby posted this to MusKKK’s anti-social media platform formerly known as Twitter. What a maroon.

To reiterate, he posted this himself...on purpose

Could there be a better metaphor for the slimes…I mean, times in which we find ourselves than the secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services forcing his grandchildren to swim in raw sewage? I think not.

Could History Repeat Itself?

All of this makes me wonder if maybe Sirhan Sirhan has a son who’s looking for something to do to make a name for himself.

I. Mangrey reporting. What's your excuse?

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

I Know I Am, But What Are You?

May 17, 2025

Fresh off his Middle East Finger/Death-To-America tour where Der Furor called America a “STUPID Country”, the Man Who Would Be Thing went after Bruce Springsteen for telling the truth in public.

Springsteen, who for the most part keeps mum on politics, came out in strong support for Kamala Harris and worked to warn people about The Thing running against her and democracy in the lead-up to the 2024 election.

Bruce has always seemed a decent, thoughtful, caring human being. Don doesn’t know the meaning of any of those words. Springsteen has taken the mantle of the great patriot/performer Woody Guthrie. Trump learned everything he knows from Roy Cohn and myriad murderous dictators.

In London last week, Bruce opened his Hope and Dreams Tour show thus

Springsteen keepin’ it real

Unsurprisingly, Dumb Don’s graphene-thin skin was irritated. Naturally, being the mature person (one assumes) he is, Don took to his failing fake Twitter/X to go after Springsteen

Even for the Projector-in-chief this is some top-shelf, very specific, exhaustive self-own. Not one word of this psychotic drool actually applies to Springsteen, but Every. Single. Word. describes the guy who wrote it while sitting on his gold toilet in magnificent, hilarious detail.

The Boss, who is 75 – and is a and is in very different shape than his slightly older target – told his audience (and the world) “The America that I’ve sung to you about for 50 years is real and, regardless of its faults, is a great country with a great people, so will survive this moment.”

The Putz called America a “STUPID Country” full of “SUCKERS”. Again.

So which one sounds like a patriot, and which one sounds like a STUPID SUCKER who hates this country?

More important than all of this, who gets bigger crowds? Every fucking day of the week.

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.

Thought For The Day – Not My President, Part II

Is Being (A) Stupid (Country) A Choice?

Even A Broken Dick Can Do Some Serious Fucking

May 16, 2025

As the saying goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day. MOBY-DON (who is also a dick) proves that a broken man can also be right, though more like twice a year. In this case however, this dangerous douchebag is both right and wrong.

While Don was on his murderous-Arab-dictator-blow-job tour, he took his lips away from the posteriors and other various body parts of his fake-fawning hosts to give a shout-out to his alleged home country, which as surprising as it might seem based on his actions clearly bent on destroying said country.*

The Screeder Of The Free World

Whining about American birthright citizenship, this is what the doddering dipshit had to say to the entire world, who for the record is currently laughing and/or cringing as they watch the United States committing slow-motion suicide:

“We are, for the sake of being politically correct, a STUPID Country…”

For good measure, he also described us all as “SUCKERS”.

Unfortunately, Dumb Donald does have a point. At this very moment we are in fact a “STUPID Country” full of “SUCKERS”. Not because we grant anyone born on U.S. soil full citizenship, but because any toxic narcissist, authoritarian grifter, even one who is a convicted felon/rapist and unrepentant traitor to this country can be elected president and then set about dismembering a two-and-a-half-century-old democracy in a matter of months.

This is not said to be rude, just accurate.

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*Without even mentioning his psychotic acceptance of Qatar’s Trojan Airplane, to the tune of $400 million in completely illegal emoluments, which will cost the American taxpayers even more than the sticker price to retrofit before making it Airforce One-ready, only to turn around and hand it over to Don if he ever leaves office in a vertical position.**
**Speaking of SUCKERS, it turns out that Qatar has been trying to dump this flying white elephant since 2020. In 2020, an aviation magazine noted, “I can’t imagine Qatar will find a buyer for this plane, so one has to wonder who this 747-8 will be gifted to.”It has been costing them a fortune just to store and maintain, so they finally found a dumb-ass, a SUCKER if you will, to take it off their blood-and-oil-stained hands. If we do live in a “STUPID Country”, it is because we have a SUPER STUPID PRESIDENT. There is a way to fix that.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Question For The Day – Have A Ball?

Inquiring Minds Want To Know (Sort Of)

May 15, 2025

An odd thought just crossed my mind...

Today’s Question For The Day:

So, if the Earth is flat, does that mean that the Moon is flat? The Sun? All the other planets and stars? And what about meatballs?

Bonus Question:

Are flat-earthers able to feed themselves?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Not My President

Is Being Stupid A Choice?

Don’t It Always Seem To Go,
That You Don’t Know What You’ve Got
‘Til It’s Ruining Your Fucking Life

May 14, 2025

I did not vote for the Hindenburg of presidents…three times. He is not my president. And guess what. If you voted for him, he is not your president either.*

Even if you voted for him, this president thinks you are a worthless moron who will send your hard-earned money to a billionaire – who said he doesn’t need your money, yet keeps begging you for more of it – and believe anything he says, even though he has not said anything true in your lifetime.

If you still support this tumor with legs after everything we have seen him do, then he is correct about your status as a worthless moron. It’s not me saying this, it’s him. Believe him.

This is not said to be rude, just accurate.

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*Unless of course you are a billionaire.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Thought For The Day – Forget It Jake, It’s Tarifftown

Don May Not Like Chinese Food, But China Just Ate His Fuckin' Lunch

May 12, 2025

Earlier today we watched China call Dumbass Don’s bluff on his ill-conceived, and let’s face it stupid tariff fiasco. Unsurprisingly, we saw that bluff turn to dust…I’m sorry, pardon my language, turn to shit.

We can now fully understand how this complete and utter fraud, failure and fuckwit bankrupted casinos. And literally hundreds of other pathetic eponymous businesses.

Trump’s tariff on Chinese goods will drop from at least 145% (which he said was non-negotiable) to 30% for an initial period of 90 days. Here we go with the 90 days bullshit again. This still leaves American businesses and families in limbo, not knowing what President Hindenburg will do next.

Despite Death-To-America-Don caving bigly before the entire economy and millions of American households collapsed under the inestimable weight of this toxic trash heap in a suit, a good deal of damage is already manifest.

We have not yet hit the rock-bottom that Don is desperately trying to send us to, but he is not ready to give up. Perhaps we will pull out of this nosedive before bursting into flames, but we have no way of knowing because Don has no fucking clue what he will do next. He couldn’t run a casino, or a normal business, let alone a country. Trump put the ‘i’ in run.

All I can say is stand up and stand by until we find a way to rid ourselves of this ass-faced albatross around America’s neck.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day. 

Broken News – More Trouble Is Loomering

Like Son Of Sam’s Neighbor's Dog, Only More Bitchy, And Advising Someone Sicker  

May 11, 2025

For those of you keeping score or desperately trying to avoid knowing anything that’s going on in the Wide World of Politics, we have big news.

Half-president Don, having jettisoned the other half-president (sort of...at least publicly), fElon MusKKK, has taken a new other half, or perhaps each is a 1/3-president. If you are lucky and/or smart you know nothing whatsoever about Don's newest conspiracist-in-chief Ms. Laura Loomer. Loomer is the nutjob’s nutjob.

Our sources report that this is Loomer’s actual face

A face that could give EmptyG’s a run for the money*

Oh, The Lack Of Humanity

Loomer believes in nothing that has actually happened and everything that has not. She makes RFingK, Jr. look like myth buster Penn Jillette. Loomer has already convinced Demented Grandpa Don to remove a number of government employees. I will spare you any more of the gory details of the contents of Loomer's brain/imagination since you might be reading this over breakfast.

If there is anything worse than Don listening to the voices in his head, it just might be listening to Laura Loomer. But this is exactly where we are right now.**

Loomer clearly gives Don something MusKKK could or simply would not. The smart/nauseated money is on blow jobs.

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*With an equally impressive lack of brains to match. It would be a tough fight to determine the queen fruitcake.
**However, even Loomer callee out her other third – after stating “I love President Trump. I would take a bullet for him” – over Don recently accepting a $400 million private jet from Qatar, or “Jihadists in suits” as she called them.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled angst, already in progress. 

Good Times People, Good Times

On This Date In American History   

May 10, 2025

And we thought things were a mess then.

May 10, 1974, the beginning of the end of Richard Nixon, in the House

And we thought he was a dick.

I. Mangrey, still angry after all these years. 

MOBY-DON (WHO IS ALSO A DICK)

Thar He Blows…In Fact, He Blows Everywhere

May 9, 2025

Many a tale has been told of behemoths as heroes, villains, predators, quarry, pitchman. Goliath, Moby-Dick, Godzilla, King Kong, Bigfoot, The Hulk, Jaws, Reacher, Paul Bunyan, the Jolly Green Giant.

One particular giant, was a so-called monster of the deep who had a mentally unstable, obsessed and delusional hunter who refused to cease his pursuit of the innocent beast. The unhinged captain Ahab, due to his tragic mental illness and deep-seated lack of humanity, deemed the behemoth evil. These two, the hunter and the prey and the futilely insane chase comprised the classic MOBY-DICK.

Though long dead, Melville has managed to pen a sequel, turning, at long last, the tables. It is no longer the ship’s captain who has lost all contact with reality. Now everyone involved knows that the elusive, blubbery quarry is in fact the evil, demented blowhard that must be caught and ended before not only the crew of Pequod II, but the ship itself, and the ocean it sails on and the planet on which the ocean exists will all be brought to ruin. The new captain, Baha must complete his crucial mission to put a stop to the monster hell-bent of total destruction.

And so, Paying Attention™, long known for its creation of and fondness for the arts, is honored to bring you, for the first time anywhere, the opening paragraph of the posthumous masterpiece by the late great Hannibal Lecter…sorry, Herman Melville. Here then are the opening words of MOBY-DON.

 

MOBY-DON (WHO IS ALSO A DICK)

CHAPTER 1. Loomings.

Stop calling me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having few if any fucks to give, and nothing particular to interest me in politics, I thought I would turn my attentions to less nauseating parts of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the screaming voices in my head and regulating my insides. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the brain; whenever it is a deadly cold, unrelenting December in my soul; whenever I find myself longingly pausing before coffin warehouses, and imagining which style would suit my form and how soon it might be nice for one last sleep; and especially whenever the doings of the world get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong power of the will to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, in the path of some over large motor vehicle—then, I account it high time to cease paying attention as soon as I can. This is my substitute for banging my head against the wall. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the bed, practically suffocating myself in pillows and too many blankets. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the toxicity of politics with me.*

Well, there you have it. Likely another masterpiece by Melville. They said it couldn’t be done. Actually, now that I think about it, they might have said it shouldn’t be done. Either way, they said something and it has been done. I wouldn’t rush out to your local bookstore – if you even have one – because chances are it won’t be available anywhere in the near future, what with all the book bannings and burnings, and fascism and whatnot.

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*Full disclosure: Melville did not actually write this posthumously. It was apparently penned by Melville’s great, great, great, great grandson I. Melville using as a nom de plume that of his great, great, great, great grandfather.

I. Melville reporting, etc.

Schmuck Of The Day – It’s Don

Super Schmuck

May 8, 2025

While Dumb Don is a schmuck every day, he is not always the Schmuck Of The Day. Others may stand out, as it were, from time to time, but this should never distract from the fact that Don does drastically douchey deeds daily.

Looks like Don’s comb-over-and-over-and-over is almost over*

Don actually said something that is true, though not the way he meant it. The words are accurate, but the meaning he presumably ascribed to them is unmitigated bullshit.

The quote: “I said, we are in a transition period.”

Fact check – true. We do appear to be in a transition period. However, we are transitioning from bad to worse. At best.

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*What a schmuck.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

This Is Not A Good Sign

They Can Run, But They Hopefully Won’t Hide

May 7, 2025

As you are no doubt aware, we here at Paying Attention™ persistently strive for optimism and the utmost positivity, though from time to time it might not appear that way. That is only because things are so irreparably fucked up it can be difficult to let our sunny dispositions break through the current nuclear-winter-cloud of sheer evil and stupidity.

Today however, we are completely unable to sugarcoat what might be some of the most disheartening and troublesome news we’ve heard in quite some time. And that is saying many things.

Professor Timothy Snyder is an historian specializing in the history of Central and Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union, and the Holocaust (which contrary to the opinion of many a Trump cultist is a real thing that actually happened in the real world). Snyder and two other professors have decided to leave their positions at Yale. But not for Harvard or some other East Coast elite institution – you know, the ones that Christo-fascist, Trump-licking assholes like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and JD Vance always associate with the “radical left” but attended personally.

Snyder is the author of, among others, the seminal works On Freedom and On Tyranny, being an established and highly respected expert on both. Snyder and his colleagues are moving north. But not to Massachusetts or Maine. They have all gone to Toronto. In Canada. Which, contrary to a certain syphilitic, psychopathic White House inhabitant we know, is and always will be an independent nation that has the bad fortune of sharing a border with the syphilitic, psychopathic autocrat’s Amerika.

Hopefully, these wise educators will still find time to help those less fortunate who are unable to escape to friendlier locales.

20 Lessons on Tyranny: by Timothy Snyder/read by John Lithgow

I. Mangrey recoiling. 

Make Alcatraz Great Again

Dumbass Don, Keepin’ It Unreal

May 6, 2025

People are getting bent out of shape because Disaster-in-chief Don is croaking (ooh, I just got a warm, fuzzy feeling all over my body, but I digress) about reopening Alcatraz, the notorious former prison on a California island. Don has been spending the day-or-so-a-week he is not golf-cheating beating the living shit out of America. He has instead recently turned his unwanted attention to making Alcatraz great again. You go gurl.

As always, Don is talking about himself and his cult and scabinet

Personally I think it’s a good idea. Alcatraz could come in handy. It would be a great place for everyone in this administration once they are out of office. They should all be there right now, but I can wait a minute.

Next on Don's fuckit list: Make Auschwitz Great Again

I. Mangrey reporting. Patiently hating.

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

Luckily For Don, She Didn’t Ask Him His Name

May 6, 2025

During a recent Meet The Press interview with Kristen Welker this happened:

Reporter: “Your secretary of state says everyone who's here, citizens and non-citizens deserve due process. Do you agree Mr. President?” 

Asshole: “I don't know. I'm not a lawyer.” 

Reporter: “Don’t you need to uphold the Constitution of the United States, as president?”

Asshole: “I don’t know.”

Don seems not to know what anyone with half a brain (which excludes most of his base) knows: 1) he is supposed to observe due process, and 2) he is supposed to uphold the Constitution of the United States. I suppose he could be feigning ignorance, but that’s just fucking stupid, like anyone who believes a single word out of its mouth.

But Wait, There’s More…

From the same mind-blowing, soul-vacuuming interview:

Reporter: “When does it become the Trump economy?”

Asshole: “It partially is right now. I think the good parts are the Trump economy and the bad parts are the Biden economy.”

Psychotic as all fuck.

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.