Why’s In A Name?

What’s My Lie

September 22, 2025

Surely you have all heard of Diseased Trump’s move to rename the Department of Defense as the Department of War. This of course – like every other fucking thing Trump does – is not legal; only Congress can change the names of government agencies. Naturally, Trump could not give even a hummingbird-sized shit what the law says, so despite him now calling it the Department of War, that is just another one of his pre-teen, schoolyard nicknames.

We have learned through our non-existent White House sources that Trump is planning to rename other agencies to coincide with his particular set of skills.

Let’s Play What’s My Lie

Department of Health and Human Services = Department of Death and Human Sacrifice

Department of Commerce = Department of Grifting

Department of the Treasury = Department of Take From the Poor and Give To the Rich

Department of Energy = Department of Petroleum, Coal and Gas and Nothing Else

Department of Justice = Department of Laws-Are-For-Suckers

Department of The Interior = Department of Drill-Baby-Drill

Department of Homeland Security = Department of Very Fine People on Both Sides

Other significant agencies outside the cabinet

Social Security Administration (SSA) = Social Shredding Agency

Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) = Environmental Perversion Agency

National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) = Flat Earth Administration

Lastly, the hated DEI – Diversity, Equity, Inclusion will be co-opted into Destroy Everything Immediately under the newly created Department of Charlie Kirk

To be fair, these new names do better reflect their current mission under Crassputin. Kill anything that moves. Crush anyone who dares say a discouraging word about Dear Leader.