TYLENOL® –
Not Causing Autism Since 1955
September 29, 2025
A message from TYLENOL®,
the medicine that definitely did not bring you autism.
WARNING: Donald
Trump is not a doctor. He is barely a human being. You should never take medical
advice (or any advice for that matter) from Donald Trump. His brain is damaged.
He can barely pronounce words or form coherent sentences and could not care
less if you live or die, just so long as he can make a buck.
You might have heard
our dementia-addled president repeatedly whine, croak and blabber about TYLENOL®
causing autism. If you had any doubt that the raging idiot who suggested
injecting disinfectant into the body to fight COVID-19 – the pandemic he tried
to hide by stopping the testing, because he figured if you didn’t test anyone,
the number of cases would go down and eventually, like a miracle, disappear –
was clueless about TYLENOL® and autism, you need only look at the two
fruitcakes standing at his ever-expanding sides as he made his announcement.
On one side was Meh Oz, the perennial lying charlatan,
who for was a doctor who played a doctor on cable tv –now administrator of the
Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services – who for decades tried to sell
everyone on unproven, ridiculous “supplements” while handing out bad advice as
useful as a Magic 8-Ball. On the other side was good old Bobby Brainworm, the anti-science
Death and Human Sacrifice secretary/heroin-addict/brain parasite host whose
very voice makes people sick to their stomachs and very possibly causes emotional
harm, if not autism.
The Three Screwges
Trump is a completely unqualified, uneducated, so-far-from-being-a-doctor-or-even-a-casual-thinker-of-any-kind, doofus. He said that he knew TYLENOL® caused autism, and laid out a new schedule for the MMR vaccine “based on what I feel”. This from a man who clearly has no feelings, who has shown himself to be unfathomably ignorant as a baseline, and is now showing such rapid and complete mental deterioration, that many people are wondering if he can still manage to feed himself or throw ketchup across a room. Also from the same creature who told America that by not taking TYLENOL® “nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen.” And you can take that to the cemetery. At least Trump didn’t try to convince us it was based on something he ‘thought’. This slanderous, sociopathic meat sack will be hearing from our lawyers.
TYLENOL® readily
admits that there are certain pains that our medicine cannot relieve, even slightly…
Thank you for your
attention to this matter. From your good friends at non-autism-causing TYLENOL®.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled headache.
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