Friday, December 17, 2021

Broken Earth News

Inquiring Minds Want To Wring Somebody’s Neck

December 17, 2021

I know I’ve said that every day is still January 6th. But every day is also Earth Day. Or should be.

Joe Biden appeared to genuinely understand that the already-in-progress, unrelenting and accelerating climate catastrophe was serious as a planetary heart attack*. He seemed poised to turn the environment around. He sure talked a good game – on the campaign trail and at the recent global climate summit in Scotland. He even appeared to put a stop to further oil and gas drilling with an executive order that paused all current permits and required a review of all programs related to fossil fuel development.

Then guess what happened.

Thirteen Ratpublican states sued to challenge Biden’s executive order, citing…wait for it…undue harm to the poor struggling fossil fuel fucks.

Get off my planet!!

The federal judge who sided with the rapacious Ratpublicans and their oil-entrenched overlords and ruled that “Millions and possibly billions of dollars are at stake.” Dollars? What about millions and billions of human (and plant and animal) lives, you corporate-coddling cowpie?

Then guess what happened.

Nothing much. At least, nothing much good. Despite Biden's campaign promise to ban new oil and gas leasing for public lands and waters “end of story”, the administration last week auctioned off 80 million acres in the Gulf of Mexico. You know, because what could possibly go wrong with oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, and one assumes, burning whatever oil manages to not end up all over the Gulf and its inhabitants, will not contribute to the climate crisis Biden pledged to fight with great vigor. And apparently much more oil and gas leases. When last I checked, most major banks don’t even want to fund any more Earth-killing projects.

Hey, remember the horrific Deepwater Horizon disaster?
Wasn’t that in the Gulf of Mexico? Wanna see another one?

The good news is there are plans to build a giant black box that will allow future civilizations to understand what a bunch of fucking morons once roamed the Earth. The box will be located It is hoped the box will provide a record for “future” “civilizations” so that they might understand what caused the demise of the current tenants. Like any black box worth its salt, this one will record every step we take to ensure the most efficient, most comprehensive climate catastrophe. Though this black box will have much more data than most, the developers estimate that the data storage will run out in 30 to 50 years. I guess they figured that should cover it. It’s been nice knowing you, humans. Heckuva job. I wonder if the Earth will have to go through another round of dinosaurs before humans get another crack at existence after another 100,000,000 years or so. My money is on cockroaches, 50-foot spiders, and sharks.

Earth's Black Box in Tasmania:
“This planet is being recorded for quality and training purposes.
Oh, and to see how we are fucking this planet beyond recognition.”

It’s not even really about Earth first,
it’s humans that really need protecting.
From humans.

*Of course, the planet will survive (barring global thermonuclear war), it will only be a fatal-human-species-wide-heart-attack.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken Earth News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled gnashing of teeth.

BONUS TRACK:


Kansas - Death Of Mother Nature Suite

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