Friday, February 28, 2025

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Democracy

Plop, Plop, Fizzle, Fizzle

February 28, 2025

Professional Fux Noos weasel Sean Hannity did a recent interview with half-president Musk and half-president Don. While anyone watching was able to see Sean giving both “men” figurative blow jobs, no one – as far as we know – was privy to the happy ending after the cameras were turned off.

Many people were surprised at the absence of the little Musk spawn who recently went viral, the last time Mump and Trusk appeared in public with media present, for walking up to Dictator-On-Day-One-Every-Fucking-Day Don and tellimg him “You’re not the president. You need to go away.” and then a bit later, again walking up to his dad’s newest employee, “You need to shush your mouth”. The actual four-year-old Musk also told the employee at one point to “Shut up” while perched atop his dad’s shoulders. Don sat there and took it all like a good pee-on who knows his place. The only thing the actual four-year-old in the room did not say was “The emperor needs to shut the fuck up.”

This really happened.

Key To The Shitty

In other news, during a secret Oval Office ceremony, Wannabe-king Don handed over what’s left of our government to this benefactor and idol, so Don can have more time on the golf course, of course. Apparently spending 35% of his time golfing just isn’t enough.

Don recently said he was confident that Putin would “keep his word” on any Ukraine deal because they had to “go through the Russia hoax* together.” During the same event, when confronted with calling Zelenskyy “a dictator” the Adderall-addled asshole did his Steve Erkel impression replying, “Did I say that?” Before shifting into full dementia, adding “I can't believe I said that.” What a piece of shit.

Death-To-America-Don gave his lips and Putin's ass, or his whatever, a brief respite so the two bromancers (actually only one of them is bromancing, the other one is laughing his ass off that his ignoramus suitor really believes he has a chance with a real murdering dictator) could pose for this photo-op.

This didn’t really happen…yet.

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Bullshit

During the handoff, Duffer Don proclaimed – as kings are wont to do – “I am proud to present this key to the White House to the late, great Vladimir Putin, without whose generous support I would not be here today. Take it away sir. And I mean that with all my heart…I mean money. Sorry Elon, but when was the last time you had someone poisoned or tossed out a window?”

What? No laurel and hearty handshake?

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*Which the Robert Mueller and a subsequent Senate investigation found was assuredly NOT A FUCKING HOAX.

I. Mangrey reporting.                                                    

                                                                            

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