Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

Uncle Festering Speaks

February 24, 2025

I. Mangrey here. Actually got some sleep somehow – first time since the election. Back in business, personally bringing you another episode of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™. This one’s a doozy. The syphilitic dementia is on full display, reaching new lows as only Dictator Don can. I hope you’re sitting down for this one.

The White House, on their Nazi-loving-Twitter account posted this the other day

Remember when America knew how to deal with a king?

Naturally, nothing about this latest fascist inanity is in the same galaxy as anything vaguely resembling a hint of truth. Congestion pricing in Manhattan is not dead – that would be Don’s soul. New York is not saved – it will only be saved when its name can no longer emerge from Don’s sphincter-like mouth. He is not the king, a king or thinking. He is only fucking sucking. And he has already lived long enough. Maybe he could take in a nice play. I hear there’s a top-notch remake of Our American Cousin in town.

Trump officially blames Lincoln’s death on DEI

As with Delirious Don, who famously jokes around so much we might all die from laughter, so playfully painting himself as a king, clearly the above comments are all in good, clean, patriotic American fun. You know, like taking a shit on Nancy Pelosi’s desk. I kid. I’m a kidder.

The great Joan Baez

I assume she’s referring to Lincoln

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.