Broken News – Ka$h In The Barrel

They’re All Bozos On Trump’s Bus

September 19, 2026

“It’s a good thing for America if neither Iran or Kash Patel are getting bombed.”
John Kerry, April 21, 2026

FBI defective…I mean director Ka$h Patel felt it necessary to modify the list of restrictions for joining the bureau. Among those changes Patel included removing the restriction for having engaged in “bestiality”. The reason Patel gave for specifying that a history of bestiality is now acceptable when applying to the FBI to incredulous cracker Sen. John Kennedy (who should not be allowed to bear that name) was that “They explained to me and showed me cases in which people were forced into it and had applied to the FBI, and so I thought they should be considered; it’s not an automatic disqualification. That’s all.”

Given that Patel is a childish moron, an alcoholic and an undeservedly arrogant, lying little twerp, who is not fit to clean the bathrooms at a Cracker Barrel, let alone FBI headquarters, there is no reason whatsoever to take him at his word. It is much more likely that there are photos out there showing Kash Patel fucking dead sheep.

FBI Director Ka$h Patel

Ka$h Patel should never be allowed in or near any FBI building unless he has been taken into custody.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled umbrage.