September 5, 2024
Many people are saying this, and I don’t know if this is true or not. Every day, people are coming up to me on the street, big strong men and women with tears in their eyes, some coughing up blood, saying “Sir, there is an election in two months between someone named Harris from the Democracy Party and some half-dead, half-psychotic, off-color lunatic and Russian operative (i.e., stooge) from the Reptile Party. And it's happening two months from today!"
Apparently, this Reptile
guy is wallowing under 34 felony convictions and an ever-increasing number of
other indictments, cannot complete a coherent thought, let alone a sentence, and
yet has the undying, unthinking support of millions of voters – many of whom believe
the Earth is flat, God didn’t make little green apples, and it don’t rain in
Indianapolis in the summertime.
That is all we are
prepared to report until we gather more information, but for now, you might
want to put this on your calendar just in case the rumors are true. It all
sounds very scary and we will bring you more details as they become available.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled binge drinking.
No comments:
Post a Comment