“Hair” Today, Gone* Tomorrow
June 29, 2025
No doubt he will blame this on
showerheads, windmills and Joe Biden…
_________________________________________________________
*Hopefully not just the “hair”.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
It Blowed Up Real Good...Or Did It
June 26, 2025
Every
fucking thing our War King Stiff president said about his impulsive bombing of
Iran’s nuclear facilities was a fucking lie. After distracting us with another
of his patented “I’ll let you know in two weeks”, Disaster Trump surprised
everyone (except Iran) by ordering the bombing of three of Iran’s most crucial
(as far as we know) nuclear enrichment sites.
Let’s
run down the lies relating to this particular episode of Celebrity Asshole:
There
was no immediate threat of anyone getting nuked by Iran. The human disaster
made his decision against all intelligence – both professional and what little
he personally possesses – according to reports, based on a “feeling”. One need
probably not be reminded that the “feeling” was that of a paranoid, sociopathic,
immensely ignorant autocrat with dementia.*
While
the targets may have actually been hit, the primary target was not “completely and totally
obliterated” as Damaged Don claimed. Add to this the likely fact that Iran had
already moved all the good stuff in anticipation (thanks to Don’s
two-week-two-step) of the attack.
Iran’s
nuclear program, which had been possibly neutered by an agreement brokered by the
Obama administration, then scuttled out of spite by Trump, was not ended once
and for all by Don’s bombs; it may have been set back a few months at best.
According to US intelligence, Iran’s stockpile of enriched uranium and not
destroyed…the centrifuges are largely “intact”. Again with the fucking
intelligence? What about the “feelings”?
There
was no actual ceasefire as Donny Fuckface claimed. Maybe he should have
considered talking to someone other than his mirror before announcing a
ceasefire between two other parties. Apparently, it was only a concept of a
ceasefire…and a shitty concept at that.
Perhaps
the most likely scenario at this point is that Iran rescued their nuclear
material, their machinery is either still intact or soon-to-be-repaired, and
they will appear to behave very well for the next 6-12 months while secretly
developing their very own nuclear bomb – on Trump’s blind watch, thereby
protecting themselves against future threats to their safety.
Trump
of course, will blame Biden.
And
this fuckwit keeps whining about how much he deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. He
does deserve a No-balls Putz Prize.
Lastly,
when Der Furor angrily croaked that Iran and Israel “don’t know what the fuck they’re
doing” because they were not playing along with Don’s phony cease fire, he was,
as always and only, talking about himself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJt5ccnZstU
Martin Mull – Bombed Anyway
Maybe Don should stick to what he’s good at – brain
damage and domestic terrorism.
________________________________________________
*I too have a feeling, but it is vastly different than his.
I. Mangrey reporting. What’s your excuse?
Not
A Thousand Words, But Worth It
June 25, 2025
Found on the internet. Posted
without comment*
______________________________________________
*Well, I was going to post this without comment, I really was. But then,
before the digital ink was dry enough to go to press, wouldn’t you know, a bunch of non-uniformed, masked, armed Storm-Trumpers in
southern California ganged up on, brutally assaulted and detained a 5’6”/150
lb. immigrant father of three – count ‘em, three – United States Marines (one veteran, two
active duty). These ICE thugs, under direct orders of a thuggier thug – Trump –
maced Narciso Barranco, dislocated his shoulder, and dragged him away from his
job landscaping a local i-Hop, and then lied about Barranco assaulting them.
The i-Hop manager witnessed the assault and told a reporter that Mr. Barranco
did not in any way assault the “officers”. So yeah, STOP THIS FUCKING NAZI
SHIT.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
Death and Human Sacrifices
June 24, 2025
Even a blind person can see that this administration makes a circus freak show look like a MENSA gathering. There is not one single scabinet secretary with an IQ that doesn’t begin with a decimal point. Still, the worst of the worst is the worst, if only because (but not only because) he is the one steering this clunker of a clown car. Though we have no evidence that he knows how to drive anything but a golf cart.
But let us take a brief break from Trump’s bunker-busting-cluster-fuck
in Iran and his domestic terror campaign here at home to point our slings and
arrows at one of D. Mentia Trump’s handpicked hacks.
There is no question that America’s federal fish rots from the head. This festering, fascist fuckhead…I mean fish head has this entire fish stinking to high, high heaven. Personally, I would rather be lying in the middle of the road with a dead skunk duct-taped to my face that have to endure one more whiff of what I’m smelling right now. So let us not lose sight of the cavalcade of cretinous kooks Death-To-America Don has saddled us with. Today we feature one the many psychotic fruit bats populating Don’s scabinet…the Secretary of Death and Human Sacrifices – RFingK, Jr., king of the heroin-overdosing brainworms
The guy with a brain full of worms and heroin disbanded the
entire Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices. Kennedy perjured himself
by promising not to fire this committee while conning members of the Senate
into approving his ill-gotten nomination as secretary of Death and Human
Disservices.
RFingK, Jr. about to give birth
to bouncing baby brainworm
Brainworm Bob has instead put vaccine control in the
soon-to-be-blood-soaked hands of dipshits like Dr. Robert Malone who has
claimed that millions of Americans were hypnotized into getting COVID-19 shots
and that those vaccines cause a form of AIDS.
Oh my god, I’m complete fucking
moron.
I. Mangrey reporting.
Dead
Cruz v. Fucker Carlson*
June 22, 2025
MAGA cat fight just days before
Trump’s attempts to start World War III:
_______________________________________________________
*Remember him? If not, we apologize.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
Too Weak Don
June 21, 2025
Don seems ready to go to war with Iran. Not surprising,
since he is always at war with everyone including himself. He sent troops to
Los Angeles because it’s too liberal. He has threatened to go to war with
Chicago and New York and any other city that did not vote for him. He’s not
sure yet, but he’ll probably let us know in about two weeks, give or take
another two weeks or two more weeks.
He's a fucking enigma. His mind changes on every issue every
time a breeze blows through his mostly-empty head. Perilously, many of those
fetid breezes originate in the mouth of Grima Wormtongue…I mean Stephen
Himler…I mean Miller. Other ill winds of war are coming from Scum Hannity, who
like Pvt. Last Class Bonespurs, never served his country for a single moment;
he’s just another mouth that whored.
When asked about striking Iran’s nuclear facilities, Killer
Don said, “You don’t know that I’m even gonna do it. You don’t know, I may do
it I may not do it. I mean nobody knows what I’m gonna do.” First on the list
of those who don’t know what the fuck the king of Dementialand is gonna do is
King Don himself. Meanwhile, he has spent the past few days threatening all
manner of mayhem on Iran, mostly on social fucking media, while also posting
that everyone should “evacuate Tehran.”
Don’s latest pronouncement was “I will make my decision
whether or not to go within the next two weeks.” All I can think of is him
getting rid of Obamacare in two weeks since 2017. Or infrastructure week. Or
every other promise of getting something done “in two weeks” that never
happens. This a-hole has been two-weeking us every two weeks for the past 10
years: tariffs, trade-deals…
Like a ‘60s TV Batman villain,
Dumbass Don thinks this just another season of The
Apprentice with his psychotic cliffhangers, and to his brain-dead base, that’s
all this is. As if anyone even has the option to change the fucking channel
anymore.
Oh yeah, and the War King Stiff wants the Nobel Peace Prize.
To quote Dire Leader, but about himself, “He’s not the
sharpest bulb.”
UPDATE
Just as we were ready to go to press, true breaking news
broke out:
Well, it seems our War King Stiff has jumped, no, bombed the
shark. Naturally, he ignored all American intelligence, all common sense, any
concern for the lives of Americans, especially those in the military. Now who
the fuck does that sound like? WMD anyone? GWB anyone? And how did that shitstorm
work out? Another unprovoked attack on a sovereign nation, however unsavory. And
unlike the last time, this guy didn’t even bother to con Congress into
approving the action.
This will not end.
Well?
At least he didn’t keep doing his two-week-two-step. On the other hand, if Don’s track record is any indication, the consequences – unintended and otherwise – will not be what he expected, as if he even gave a shit, and dreadful.
Fun fact: it is entirely possible that this
mission has sent nuclear fallout into the environment.
I. Mangrey reporting. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Death
By A Thousand Creeps
June 20, 2025
One of the creeps slicing away at America’s
jugular is day-drunk goober and greasy-kid-stuff aficionado with a make-up room
in the Pentagon, Pete Hegseth. Smirking his way through the brutal spanking he
did not realize he was receiving, Pete was verbally beaten to a pulp by one
Democrat after another. No answers, no clue. Just drunk-ass arrogance. One of
the punishers Pustule Pete had to deal with was Michigan Sen. Elissa Slotkin*.
Drunk Fuckseth during questioning by Slotkin (pictured
below with Booze Boy), “Senator, I'd be careful what you read in books and
believing it, except the Bible.” (nauseated italics mine**)
Ladies and gentlemen, Deplete Hegseth, your
secretary of douchebaggery, and booze-brained make-believe Christian.
______________________________________________
*Slotkin (who served three tours in Iraq as a CIA analyst, and three
terms as representative from Michigan ) had just noted that Fuckseth’s
Ratpublican predecessor, Defense Secretary Mark Esper, who dissuaded
Death-To-America Don from having peaceful protesters “shot in the legs or
something” had “more guts and balls than you”.
**Immediately following Hegseth’s ignorant, faux-pious pronouncement, an
exasperated Slotkin could be heard off-camera gasping, “Oh my God.”
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day.
June 19, 2025
On this day in 1865 word finally reached Galveston, Texas, a state that was home to 250,000 slaves, that there had been an Emancipation Proclamation three years earlier. These were the last of the enslaved Black people to learn that their enslavement had at long last, at least technically, ended. For many Black people in America, this is their Fourth of July, their real day of independence – Juneteenth. This of course ended racism in America for all time. No?
Well, at least racism finally ended in America
after we elected a Black president. No?
In a
conversation with political writer John Stoehr, posted on Alternet, a woman with the Bluesky
handle The Angry Black Woman had some
trenchant comments. The topic was whether our current racist-in-chief was “a
dangerous dictator whose power should be limited before he destroys American
democracy.” A majority of every racial demographic, save one, responded in the
affirmative. Guess which one.
From
the article:
“That
concept of ‘hope’ sits with the white community,” The Angry Black Woman told
me, “and I know they will blow up the world before they admit they were wrong
or actually try to save our country.”
Sounds
pretty fucking accurate.
TABW:
I think that if you bank on white people saving democracy, you should just say
goodbye to it now. They aren't built that way. While I understood why Harris
reached out the way she did, I knew that it was pointless. White people will
choose destruction over equality every single time. So if that is where the
Democrats want to go, good for them. It doesn't mean we won't vote, if we still
can, but that energy that is the base of the party won't be there. Those white
voters are never going to come back and, if they do, they won't be loyal. So
this is just another way that America is showing how little they value us.
Let us all celebrate Juneteenth while it’s still legal.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For Juneteenth.
Not
A Thousand Words, But Worth It
June 17, 2025
Please indulge us in
another callback to Saturday's No Kings Day protests. The numbers are in and there
were upwards of five million American patriots – not the kind that try to
violently invalidate an election or literally shit all over democracy – actual patriots
trying to rescue that same democracy in the streets all over America. While Don the Usurper
shamelessly used the military as props for a few thousand listless losers in
DC, where Trump exclaimed, "Let them eat tanks."
There are always chants of some sort at
protests. Over the years, and especially during the painfully dark, uniquely perilous Trump years
I’ve heard (and occasionally led) my share. Call-and-answers like “Whose
streets? Our streets!” or “Hey, hey, ho ho, Donald Trump has got to go” or “No
Justice, No Peace” or a recent favorite with us at Paying Attention – the succinct
yet satisfying, if not particularly innovative, but nonetheless timeless “Fuck
Trump!”
The focus of this missive however is the call
and answer:
Tell
us what democracy looks like!
This is what democracy looks
like!
This Is What Democracy Looks Like
This Is What Hypocrisy
Looks Like (Not To Mention Pathetic)
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
We Want Democracy With NO KINGS ATTACHED
June 15, 2025
Yesterday’s No Kings* protest in Philadelphia went off without a hitch with the crowd being treated to a pleasant spring shower much of the time. Thankfully, at least in Philly – the town where it happened – it was also No Assholes Day. The mood was mainly energetic and upbeat though some in attendance seemed very angry at some guy named – as far as I could tell – Fuck Trump.
There were countless
signs, many more than other recent events. The vast majority of signs were
obviously handmade:
Every Day Is No Kings
Day
I was happy to spend
the day with 80,000 of my closest friends, and one golden cow:
Speakers included
Bishop William Barber and Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Constitution), each of whom paid
their respects to the Minnesota state lawmaker and her spouse who were murdered
in cold blood earlier in the day.
It is believed that
the same cretin also shot another Minnesota lawmaker and his spouse in their
home in a separate incident. This couple survived. The assassin was
unsurprisingly one of Trump’s deplorable (that’s right, I said it) shitheads
with a gun and a preemptive okey-dokey from their dear leader. The killer, who
was nothing but an instrument of the violent-talking coward Fuck Trump, left a
manifesto and a hit list in his car before fleeing like a coward.
Fuck Trump also paused
his pathetic birthday bullshit to mourn the loss of these innocent people. Oops,
I’m being told that Trump did not take one single second to even acknowledge
the fact that one of his supporters murdered people in his name, presumably because
he doesn’t give a flying fuck about these victims, or for that matter anyone
else who is not him.
Other speakers
included American Federation of Teachers president Randy Weingarden and Professor
Timothy Snyder. Barber and Raskin gave rousing speeches which inspired those
present as these two gentlemen are known to do on a regular basis.
Courtesy of NBC:
______________________________________________
*Except for an appearance by Martin Luther King III who gave a rousing
speech.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
Fathers Day festivities.
Crappy Birthday Shithead
June 13, 2025
Trump’s own plan is to maximize only the waste, fraud and
abuse that he likes. You know, the kind that either puts more money in his
pockets and/or provides sufficient ego fluffing. Donald “Death To America”
Trump is planning a big, bogus dickhead…I’m sorry, dictator-style military
parade down the streets of our nation’s capital.
Lying as always, Il Douche is masquerading this disgraceful, distasteful display as a celebration of the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Army, when in reality it is his birthday present to himself since it will be held on Trump’s 206th birthday, tomorrow. This is the closest Pvt. Last Class Bonespurs has come to anything military – using our military as camouflage for his pathetic perfidy.
Naturally, Trump never
pays for anything himself so this shitty shindig is expected to cost us
taxpayers upwards of $50,000,000 dollars – at least that’s the number they’re
throwing around in public, so you can bet the little you’ll have left that the price
tag will be significantly higher. And that does not include the estimated
$16,000,000 in damage to the local infrastructure. Not to mention the massive
disruption to traffic and life in DC that will accompany the extensive repairs.
Naturally, there will be no disruption to the onslaught of fascism and filth we
deal with every fucking day of Don Trump’s reign of terror.
Speaking Of Abuse And Terror…
If you have not seen the footage of the violent assault and handcuffing
of Sen. Alex Padilla (D-CA) who was doing his job, trying to ask a question of dog-murderer/DHS
secretary and evil Barbie Kristi Noem, you need to see Trump’s thugs in action.
Unsurprisingly, after the disgraceful incident Noem blatantly lied about every
single detail of the encounter. Every. Single. Detail. In fact, Padilla’s
question arose in response to the lies Noem was spewing during her press event.
This is now, and presumably only so far, the second
Democratic lawmaker arrested for doing their job – coincidentally, Padilla is
Hispanic and Rep. LaMonica McIver (D-NJ) – who was arrested while Trump’s
gestapo was illegally arresting the mayor of Newark, and is now going to trial –
is a Black woman – by the fascist state being constructed by Trump where
America used to be.
Of course, in between these two atrocities was Der Furor’s
occupation of Los Angeles, which has now been judged by the 9th
Circuit appeals court to be illegal and ordered to be ended. Unsurprisingly,
the subsequent appeal reinstated Trump’s fascist wet dream.
Shit’s getting realer and realer by the minute. If you turn
around and look way back you can see still the Rubicon we have crossed. Don’t
let it fade from view. Democracy is being stripped away on all fronts.
Go out and march somewhere tomorrow while peaceful protest
is still legal. It might not be for long.
______________________________________________________
*Just kidding. There was never
anything resembling a real attempt at reducing waste, fraud and abuse, just
making sure the waste, fraud and abuse were being perpetrated by MusKKK and
Trump.
I. Mangrey reporting. How's my driving?
June 12, 2025
It
occurs to me that the MAGAning crowd is beside itself with grief, anger and
their patented brand of incalculable stupidity since their two deadbeat dads
started tearing at each other’s raiment and stellar reputation.
Though
it appears these two blubbery billionaire behemoths have reached a ceasefire, there
is only one definitive solution to this horrific battle of the exes. Call in
the National Guard. There must be a quick and decisive end to this
conflagration before someone who is not MusKKK or Trump gets hurt.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.
Smile, Smiley
June 12, 2025
Just one day after we lost the trailblazing powerhouse known
as Sly Stone, another hugely influential giant of music left us, also at the
age of 82. The shy, often reclusive unstable genius* behind the Beach Boys,
Brian Wilson passed away. No less than Elton John and Paul McCartney have
heaped praise and described Wilson as an inspiration for their own great works.
_________________________________________________
*It’s okay to be an unstable
genius unless you are also a greedy, vengeful, hate-filled, power-mad sociopath.
All the while claiming to be “a very stable genius”. Brian Wilson was none of that.
I. Mangrey, sadly reporting. For the record, my favorite
vegetable is pizza.
A Song For The Rages
June 12, 2025
You might not know that one Pamela Bondi is the Attorney
General of the United States. Or you might have known and erased this
disturbing information from your mind. Or you might know and often cry yourself
to sleep as this thought intrudes on your sheep count.
And how you might ask, did perky/pukey Pamela get to be the
Attorney General of the United States? Let us not forget that Blondie was
Trump’s second choice to credibly-accused statutory rapist and all-around real-life
poop emoji Matt Gaetz. Not exactly great padding for a resume.
In March 2016, the perpetually overworked Citizens for
Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) discovered that the Trump
Foundation had broken the law by giving an illegal $25,000 contribution to the
Orwellian-named “And Justice for All”, a political group supporting Bondi.
Oops.
This was a big story and resulted in the beginning of the
end of Donald Trump’s political career…oops, wrong timeline. It unfortunately
and naturally elicited a slap-on-the-pinkie fine of $2,500. Part of the bigness
of the story was the fact that Bondi suddenly dropped a case against Trump
“University” shortly after Dear Donald caused Polythene Pam’s campaign coffers to
swell . Big story, but not big enough to save this country from itself as it
points the loaded barrel that is Trump at its head in a game of global Russian
Roulette. Now with more Russians.
In any event, Bondi was also a former lobbyist for the rogue
state Qatar, which is now a minority owner of Donald Trump, Inc that handed
Trump a flying white elephant that will cost us over a billion dollars to
retrofit, and another nail-in-the-coffin in which our democracy is being shoved
after having been dragged out of the back of Trump’s golf cart.
For all these reasons, it seems appropriate to immortalize,
since we cannot yet memorialize Ms. Pamela Blondie in a patented Paying
Attention™ song parody, sung (by you) to the tune of the Beatles’ Eleanor
Rigby*…
Pamela Blondie
Ah, look at all the stupid people
Ah, look at all the stupid people
Pamela Bondi
Spits on the law in the land where democracy’s been
Making us scream
Waits at the White House
Wearing the face that she lies with, that piece of shit whore
Who is she for?
All the stupid people
Where do they all come from?
All the stupid people
Where do they all belong?
Donald J. Trumpy
Writing the words of a tweet that the world must hear
Living in fear
Look at him lying
Making up shit with a side of dementia and fake stupid “hair”
What does he care?
All the stupid people
Where do they all come from?
All the stupid people
We know where they belong?
Ah, look at all the stupid people
Ah, look at all the stupid people
Pamela Bondi
Died in a ditch and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Donald J. Trumpy
Wiping the blood of democracy off of his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved
All the stupid people (Ah, look at all the stupid people)
Why won’t they go away?
All the stupid people (Ah, look at all the stupid people)
What else is there to say?
______________________________________________
*Fittingly, just as Bondi was
the B-side to Matt Gaetz, Eleanor Rigby was the B-side to Yellow
Submarine.
Brought to you by the award-wanting Paying Attention™ song parody team.
