War King Stiff

Too Weak Don

June 21, 2025

Don seems ready to go to war with Iran. Not surprising, since he is always at war with everyone including himself. He sent troops to Los Angeles because it’s too liberal. He has threatened to go to war with Chicago and New York and any other city that did not vote for him. He’s not sure yet, but he’ll probably let us know in about two weeks, give or take another two weeks or two more weeks.

He's a fucking enigma. His mind changes on every issue every time a breeze blows through his mostly-empty head. Perilously, many of those fetid breezes originate in the mouth of Grima Wormtongue…I mean Stephen Himler…I mean Miller. Other ill winds of war are coming from Scum Hannity, who like Pvt. Last Class Bonespurs, never served his country for a single moment; he’s just another mouth that whored.

Every little breeze seems to whisper “You sleaze.”

When asked about striking Iran’s nuclear facilities, Killer Don said, “You don’t know that I’m even gonna do it. You don’t know, I may do it I may not do it. I mean nobody knows what I’m gonna do.” First on the list of those who don’t know what the fuck the king of Dementialand is gonna do is King Don himself. Meanwhile, he has spent the past few days threatening all manner of mayhem on Iran, mostly on social fucking media, while also posting that everyone should “evacuate Tehran.” 

Don’s latest pronouncement was “I will make my decision whether or not to go within the next two weeks.” All I can think of is him getting rid of Obamacare in two weeks since 2017. Or infrastructure week. Or every other promise of getting something done “in two weeks” that never happens. This a-hole has been two-weeking us every two weeks for the past 10 years: tariffs, trade-deals…

Like a ‘60s TV Batman villain,

Dumbass Don thinks this just another season of The Apprentice with his psychotic cliffhangers, and to his brain-dead base, that’s all this is. As if anyone even has the option to change the fucking channel anymore.

Oh yeah, and the War King Stiff wants the Nobel Peace Prize.

To quote Dire Leader, but about himself, “He’s not the sharpest bulb.”

UPDATE

Just as we were ready to go to press, true breaking news broke out:

NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE!??? NOW? WTFF

Well, it seems our War King Stiff has jumped, no, bombed the shark. Naturally, he ignored all American intelligence, all common sense, any concern for the lives of Americans, especially those in the military. Now who the fuck does that sound like? WMD anyone? GWB anyone? And how did that shitstorm work out? Another unprovoked attack on a sovereign nation, however unsavory. And unlike the last time, this guy didn’t even bother to con Congress into approving the action.

This will not end. 

Well? 

At least he didn’t keep doing his two-week-two-step. On the other hand, if Don’s track record is any indication, the consequences – unintended and otherwise – will not be what he expected, as if he even gave a shit, and dreadful.

Fun fact: it is entirely possible that this mission has sent nuclear fallout into the environment. 

I. Mangrey reporting. Thank you for your attention to this matter.