October 6, 2026
Squeaker of the
House, Mike “Chucky” Johnson, despite appearing like an elf that makes cookies
in a hollow tree is – among many other very bad things – a dangerous religious
zealot. Don’t let his historic ineptitude as Speaker, his squeaky-clean façade
and his unwavering ass-kissing of Trump fool you; if he was actually capable of
doing his job, he would fuck this country straight to hell…for Jesus.
During an interview
with fellow religious extremist/scumbag Tony Perkins, Johnson had this to say
“When people are
promising free things to you, you must ask what the real price* is. It is your
freedom.”
Johnson, is not just
tone deaf, but apparently totally deaf, or he must have been out sick on all
the days that his lard and master Donald “Death-To-America” Trump announced
that he would be giving $5,000 to every adult American* if his entire
Death-To-America agenda doesn’t end up suffering death-by-democracy after the
November 3rd midterm elections. Here is Deathbed Don’s latest**
swindle:
“If the Republicans
[his word, not mine] win, you win with us and you get $5,000. It will be called
the Trump Dividend.”
Donald Fucking
Trump, September 9, 2026
First of all, most
Americans agree that we have acquired all the Trump “dividends” we can possibly
handle. Please sir, can we have less?
Second of all, this
would be the fourth big dividend Der Furor promised, the first three of which
never materialized…not a penny. No $5,000 DOGE dividend, no $2,000
illegal-tariff bonus, no $1,000 “we destroyed your Affordable Care Act subsidy”
pittance.
Vote! Strike while
the irony is hot.
________________________________
*The real price for Trump’s bribe has been calculated as one trillion
dollars; that’s almost as much as a full tank of gas and a hamburger.
**As usual, it’s impossible to keep up with this bullshit. Now Deathbed Donny
says he’s sending out checks for $500 ahead of the midterms because…well, you
know damned well why.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
sarcasm.
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