Frequenters of this space know that we have always been fair to Donald Fucking Trump. Sure, one or two things might have gotten us miffed. But we understood why a handsome, manly man like him might feel compelled to sexually assault a woman or twelve. Plus, they let him do it. And why would anyone – certainly not us – be put off by his very strong and powerful obsession with the likes of Putin, Un, Xi, Orbán and Erdoğan? And who could blame a guy for destroying more American property than the 9/11 hijackers, or starting an insurrection because he got his giant ass handed to him in an election, and then pardoning everyone convicted of following him into battle? He had to pardon them, they liked him. Or the fact that he stole a truckload of classified documents, some of which he likely sold to our enemies. Everyone is entitled to make a mistake. And no other president was brave enough to destroy the White House to build a ballroom that no one wanted, or turn the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool into a Superfund site, or bleed our military dry by attacking Iran for no reason and with no plan.
It is all just harmless fun.After all, as Richard Nixon famously
said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal”. It damn sure isn’t
these days.
But now Trump and
his flying monkeys have gone too far.
The Department of
Just Trump* is trying to let Richard Nixon – my personal bête noire – off the
historical hook. Trump’s factory-second garden gnome, Kash Patel, the fake head
of the FBI, is looking into whether Nixon was “framed” and was a victim of a
“deep state” coup.
Patel is intending
to look into “failures” of the past. If Patel really wants to look at failures,
he need only look in the mirror.
Yes, Nixon was
framed by tape recordings of his own voice and the voices of his top aides confessing
to crimes. These were known as the “Smoking Gun Tapes”. The evidence against
Nixon was almost as voluminous as the truckload of classified documents Trump
stole on his way out of the White House in 2021 after his failed insurrection.
Trump of course was also framed by mountains of evidence, including stacks of
boxes of stolen documents photographed in a bathroom at Mor-on-Lago.
Like most framed
people, Nixon had this to say to David Frost in 1977
“I let down my
friends. I let down the country. I let down our system and the dreams of all
those young people that ought to get into government but think it’s all too
corrupt... I let the American people down, and I have to carry that burden with
me for the rest of my life.”
Here’s a version you
could expect from Trump
My friends let me down. The country let me down. The whole system is corrupt and all I did was try to fix it. The American people let me down. I was the greatest president who ever lived.
Republicans (remember
them?) at the time unanimously supported impeaching the fucker, and it was they
who talked Tricky Dick into getting the fuck out of town or they would impeach
him. Nixon’s crimes against America seemed unimaginable at the time. Today,
they would be called Tuesday.
____________________________________________
*Formerly the Department of Justice
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
early voting.
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