Ass
Not What Your Country Can Do For You
October 23, 2026
An increasingly desperate and rapidly
declining Donald Trump is relegated to campaigning in red states as he attempts
to mitigate what looks to be a very painful referendum on his historically
failed presidency– his midterm approval is the lowest of any president ever (and
still falling) – in the imminent midterms. He took a break from destroying
Washington, DC and golfing, and dragged his sorry ass to Ohio to rescue
trailing incumbent John Husted…
“I
don’t do this with men very often. I started examining his body. I looked, I watched
up and down, I looked at his ass, I looked at the whole thing. And then I looked
at his hands. He’s got these like claws.”
Donald Jezebel
Trump, October 12, 2026
describing Senate incumbent from Ohio, John Husted
It's fun to "stay" at the YMCA
Later that week the president with the most
fake hair and makeup in American history sloshed to Kentucky, home of the 90%
deceased Mitch McConnell, to campaign for his hand-picked candidate for the
House...
“I needed somebody good, and this guy walks
through the door.
I said, ‘Look at this beautiful guy.’”
Donald
Jezebel Trump, October 17, 2026
describing House nominee from Kentucky, Ed Gallrein
What An Ass
At this
same event, Dainty Don decided to again regale the crowd with his thoughts on
his preferred Senate candidate from Ohio…
“I never did that with a man before. I
examined his ass, and then I looked at his shoulders. I looked at his feet. I
looked at his hand. I looked at his jawline. Studied him. He’s got a jawline.”
Donald Jezebel Trump, October 17, 2026
describing Senate incumbent from Ohio, John Husted
Examined
his ass?
He’s Hot For Creature
“I’m studying his body. I’ve never studied
the body of a man before. Bit I looked at his ass. (long pause) And then I looked
at his legs and I said his ass his ass is like, it’s like a pile of muscle.”
Donald Jezebel Trump, October 20, 2026
describing Senate incumbent from Ohio, John Husted…again
Okay, what the fuck is a pile of muscle?
Clearly
Donald misses his old playmate Lindsey Graham and is making his way out of the
closet.* Not that there’s anything wrong with that…there’s just something wrong
with every other fucking thing about him. Very wrong.
________________________________________
*Either that or he’s a
closet proctologist.
And don’t even get me started on Donny Darling’s insatiable man-crush on Vladimir Putin.
I. Mangrey reporting.
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