It is
unrefusable, non-refundable offer time for Deathbed Donny. Only one problem. As
you may remember, and may have seen in these pages a hundred or so times, Nixon
bailed out on August 8-9, 1974, well before the midterm elections of that year.
You may also be aware that we are in final days of September with the current
midterms only 36 days away. And lastly, you may also be aware that Donald
Fucking Trump is still president and has no plans to remove himself from the
public eye, like an errant fishhook requiring surgical intervention, antibiotics
and an eye patch, if not total death of the eye.
The
S.S. Trumptanic has already made contact with the proverbial iceberg (which is
actually Trump himself, but that kind of ruins the metaphor, so pretend I never
brought it up). It is already going down with no hope of stopping. Voters and
candidates alike from the Fascist/Trump/Epstein/Sedition Party are abandoning
ship at a lemming-like rate. And what is Daddy Dumbest* doing? He’s running
around telling his peeps to pretend he is on the ballot. Apparently, stupidity
loves company.
_______________________________________________ *Did you know ‘dumb’ has a ‘b’ in it? Of course
you did, you’re not Donald Dumb-fucking Trump. This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day. Harrumph.
With
any luck there will be one more entity, one very important thing that is very
deserving of Donald’s kiss of death that he will also destroy, to the point
that it will hopefully take a generation to begin to revive. That is the
Fascist/Trump/Epstein/Sedition (formerly known as Republican) Party. Let’s hope
King Minus brings his special reverse mojo to the party that raised him up,
propped him up and enabled him to beat the living shit out of America. Every
last one of these sleazy appeasers need to be shamed, blamed and voted into
oblivion. For generations.
I. Mangrey reporting. Thank
you for your attention to this monster.
Assuming
he doesn’t just manufacture a national emergency and/or cancel the midterms, it
looks like Trump’s back-up plan is to simply kill off most Americans who are
lower income and are likely to vote against anyone hinting at supporting
Trump’s agenda. He is going to continue causing everything to be unaffordable –
food, gas, housing, health care…all up. Not only is the
Fascist/Trump/Epstein/Sedition Party not attempting to help make these things
better, which would cause people to be more likely to vote for them, they are
going full steam ahead in making all of it worse. They just kicked another
750,000 (many of whom are their own supporters) off Obamacare. You know,
because they are the ones who put Obama’s name on it.
One
county in Texass recently eliminated 92 polling locations in mostly Democratic
areas in order to drag the worst candidate in this entire election cycle – Texass
Attorney General Ken Paxton – across the finish line as Democratic candidate
James Talirico out-classes, out-fundraises and out-campaigns the philandering,
15-house-owning Paxton. Paxton was impeached on 16 counts by the majority
Republican Texass House of Representatives by a 121–23 vote in 2023, but the
Texas Senate acquitted him on all counts.
Trump
seems to have given up trying to hijack the Postal Service in order to
interfere with mail-in voting. And since most of
his plans to keep people from voting are getting thrown out of court, Trump is
now lying about giving everyone $5,000 if his party prevails at the polls this
November. Fat fucking chance he would ever keep a promise.
We
are poised somewhere between For What It’s Worth, Wild In the Streets and Eve
Of Destruction, hopefully not Four Dead In Ohio, but there is a non-zero chance
that ICE and the FBI will be terrorizing and shooting people they suspect of
voting Democratic (literally and figuratively) at polling places across the
country on November 3rd. Bet on it.
Today’s
thought is brought to you by the good folks at the
Donald trump memorial EPSTEIN FILES
Also,
_______________________________________________ *Also insane and fascist.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
Our
sources near the Remains of the White House are reporting that Trump is
secretly hoping to follow in Kennedy’s footsteps in surprising ways. Maybe it’s
because he can smell the writing on the wall. His incredibly stupid and failing
presidency is dissolving around him. Trump is old beyond his years, his brain
is mush, and his once proudly ignorant MAGAverse is beginning to realize their
hero has been pissing all over them and calling it rain.
In
Other Alternative News…
In
the wee hours – the only ones during which Der Furor can stay awake – Trump has
been floating the idea of having a remake of Our American Cousin put on
at the Kennedy Center, or maybe at Ford’s Theater.* He has also pushed the idea
of visiting Dallas again, only this time he wants his motorcade to amble
through Dealey Plaza.
_______________________________________________ *There are actual reports that Trump’s “team”
is floating the idea of attaching his name to Ford’s Theater. Why? Because it’s
there. Trump has vehemently denied these reports…so you know they’re true.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day. Think about
it.
Damaged Don, between threats to blow up the
country of Iran, bulldoze the Kennedy Center, bulldozing the White House, and
pissing all over the First Amendment (and the Fifth) – in addition to all his
usual fucking everything up – is hell-bent on building his TRiUMPhal
Arch/Sniper’s nest/Fortress/Armory, to go along with his super-secret
ballroom/fortress that he won’t shut the fuck up about.
Absolutely everything he does is unwanted, completely
unnecessary and extremely stupid. And will sooner or later (most likely
sooner), like his Reflecting Pool fiasco, turn to complete and utter shit.*
We can only hope that once he is dragged
kicking and screaming from the Remains of The White House, whoever is in charge
removes every last sign of his ever having been here. Then take him to The
Hague.
_______________________________________________ *The good news
about that is it will make it that much easier to tear it all down…if it all
hasn’t just turned to dust on its own thanks to all the Trumpian craftsmanshit.
“We cannot and will not allow them to take
the majority in the Congress.
We’re not gonna do it.” Mike “Chucky” Johnson, September 10, 2026
Even though the
typically anti-democracy/all-Trump-all-the-time Supreme Court (sans its two
flagrantly felonious dyspeptic duo – Sam Alito and Uncle Thomas) somehow
stumbled into a rare moment of standing up for democracy and put the kibosh of
Death-To-America Don’s attempt to dismember voting by mail, we are not yet out
of the fucking up of the coming midterm elections woods.
The Trump Mob still
has a number of other plans to destroy our democracy by blasting the midterms
to smithereens. They have already tried gerrymandering shenanigans, though
those efforts have by and large backfired. One Democrat majority county in
Texass closed down 92 polling sites. They are planning to fuck around on
election day by deploying the Department of Homeland Fascism ICE agents at
polling places, or sending the FBI to intimidate voters
The Final Solution
Sedition
The midterm train
does not reach its final destination until January 3, 2027. That is the day, by
law (if that is still a thing) when the Speaker of the House, who in this case
– unless he happens to drop dead (which I wouldn’t wish on hardly anyone) before
that day – happens to be the ultra-slimy, fascist religious fanatic and unrepentant
Trump suck-up Mike Johnson (shown below) is called on to certify the elections.
As you may have
heard, Donald “Death-to-America” Trump is attempting to do to the Constitution
what he did to the East Wing and is currently threatening to do to the Kennedy
Center. He is bulldozing the First Amendment.
“The First Amendment is
the East Wing of amendments. Who needs the First Amendment when we have
the Second?” Donald “Death-to-America” Trump, alternative quote
Der Furor has banned
CNN, MS NOW and Politico (so far) from his temporarily gold-plated, semi-bulldozed
Remains of the White House. Because they do not kiss his ass the way his
mentally-defective, spine-free cabinet does. One imagines even the Supreme
Court would have to declare this act unconstitutional.
This is the first
thing tyrants, dictators and shitheads the world over do to wrest power from
the hands of the people.
We at Paying
Attention™ are as displeased as anyone at this traitorous turn of events. The only
thing that angers us more is the fact that we were not banned from the Remains
of the White House. Is it something we didn’t say?
“It’s a good thing
for America if neither Iran or Kash Patel are getting bombed.” John Kerry, April 21, 2026
FBI defective…I mean director Ka$h Patel felt it necessary to modify the list of
restrictions for joining the bureau. Among those changes Patel included
removing the restriction for having engaged in “bestiality”. The reason Patel
gave for specifying that a history of bestiality is now acceptable when
applying to the FBI to incredulous cracker Sen. John Kennedy (who should not be
allowed to bear that name) was that “They explained to me and showed me cases
in which people were forced into it and had applied to the FBI, and so I
thought they should be considered; it’s not an automatic disqualification.
That’s all.”
Given that Patel is a childish moron, an alcoholic and an
undeservedly arrogant, lying little twerp, who is not fit to clean the
bathrooms at a Cracker Barrel, let alone FBI headquarters, there is no reason
whatsoever to take him at his word. It is much more likely that there are
photos out there showing Kash Patel fucking dead sheep.
FBI Director Ka$h Patel
Ka$h Patel should never be allowed in or near
any FBI building unless he has been taken into custody.
Former senator and continuing soulless oligarch/coal
baron scumbag Joe Manchin of West Virginia, who left the Democratic Party at
the end of his horrendous Senate career, has endorsed famous concern guru and
perpetual Trump enabler Susan Collins in the re-election bid she long ago
promised she would never attempt*, praising her as the “soul of the Senate”.
Manchin as usual has gotten it wrong.
Collins is the ass-soul of the Senate.
_______________________________________________ *Collins promised to serve only two
terms when she first ran five terms ago.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Headline Of The
Day.
As usual,
Trump is calling something objectively provable that does not fit his dementia-inspired
narrative “A HOAX”. From the blatant association with the Russians that helped
him lose the popular vote yet secure the presidency in 2016, to his continued
insistence that the indisputable, accelerating human-driven climate crises, to
his claims that the COVID pandemic was “A HOAX”, to name just a few. History’s dumbest super-genius
is now calling the dire warnings from AI developers and researchers and other
actually smart people “A HOAX”. Just leave poor little AI alone. Nothing bad
can happen. It can only good happen. This from the guy who, being the very
stable genius he is, suggested people ingest bleach to kill a virus. If only he
had led the way via personal example and showed us how safe and effective it
was.
Many people
find it difficult to imagine how AI could bring about human extinction
(something, it must be said, however unfortunately, we have rightly earned by
the progression and subsequent de-evolution of our species as a whole) ever, let alone by the end of this
decade. Well guess what-the-fuck, most people could not have predicted the creation
of AI just a few decades ago. But as you are likely aware, IT IS HERE NOW, and
it is coming for us.
Actually, somebody
did predict this. Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick in their 1968 Sci Fi
classic 2001: A Space Odyssey created HAL the computer – the Donald Trump of
computers. Ironically, HAL was found to be providing faulty data, but HAL, like
Trump refused to admit a mistake, choosing instead to blame it on human error
and then to kill off the insubordinate crew who dared blame him.
Um, NO! It’s probably not safe
for most if any adults.
National
Lampoon’s Deteriorata
Enjoy what is
likely our final summer 2026 rerun...
AI Robot
February 1,
2026
A few days
ago, we explained how AI Will Kill
Us Before It Kills Us . And you let me count the ways. Laugh if you want;
it’s probably not even your real laugh at this point. It has begun and there is
no turning back. Especially now that Der Furor has banned any restrictions or
oversight for at least 10 years. Huh? And handed over our top AI tech to China.
Huh?
No sooner did
someone come out with a very humanoid robot, sprinkled with AI, and able to
mimic the movements of its “coach”, but the battle for supremacy began in
earnest. And this will not be merely a battle of intelligence. There will be
blood in the streets. And not just from ICE shooting people in the head. I was
going to say that killing machines don’t see color, but I’m pretty sure racism
can be programmed in or learned on the fly.
Notice that
R2-FuckU not only disabled his benefactor like Butch Cassidy in a knife fight
with a much bigger man,
but he
immediately mocked his victim.
FRIGHTENING
UPDATE
We have also
just learned that AI “agents” are starting their own social networks. They are
watching us. They are talking about us. They are doing tasks and developing
skills without their “owners” knowing it beforehand. They are plotting and
planning and we are too stupid to be able to either monitor them or stop them.
They are already smarter than almost all of us put together. They do not have
corporeal forms with unknown expiration dates. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
(Former?)
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow) was wheeled from or on his deathbed back onto
the Senate floor for the first time since he fell (died?) and was rushed to the
hospital (morgue?)
Either
way, his long-lived crusade to destroy America and democracy, which he very
nearly completed, will have to find other talons to drag it across the finish
line. Whether dead or alive, Moscow Mitch is finally and mercifully
incapacitated. May he rest in…the ground.
You have to admit, he does look almost lifelike
____________________________________________ *It is clear that no one else seems able to.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Night.
Given recent events, and in the spirit of summer reruns, we
thought it worthwhile to bring back a previous post/warning. Surely you have
noticed the almost universal and increasingly vigorous pushback against the
data centers referenced below. No one except those positioned to make money off
of AI wants these soul-sucking edifices that sound like a jumbo jet circling
your neighborhood 24/7 anywhere near their homes. Donald “Death-To-America-(And-Earth)”
Trump called anyone not wanting to live next door to a data center “stupid”.
Bernie Sanders suggested Deathbed Don put his ill-gotten money where the
sphincter below his nose is and have one built next door to Mor-on-Lago.
Add to this the recent deafening whistleblowing about the imminent
danger posed by an increasingly out of control AI. Top insiders, some of whom
have ceased their work with AI companies, including Jacob Coxon who not only resigned his position, but dumped his shares in Anthropic, are urging a massive slow-down in AI
development…before it’s too late. Ever see the movie War Games?
On the other hand, super genius Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump, who is dismissing AI alarms as "a hoax", added his no sense to the conversation: “The only control or “guardrails”
that AI needs is a STRONG AND SMART (High IQ!) PRESIDENT, and the U.S.A. has
that, in spades!” Yeah, he has it all fingered out. He’ll just grab the AI by
the pussy and show it who’s boss.
But the American public would like a word with the manager…
Given the accelerating decay in natural
intelligence across the species – as evidenced in part by the global rise of
fascism and the ascendence of Donald Fucking Trump to the (possibly final)
presidency of what had been, until Trump came along, the most powerful nation
in the history of the world – there is no reason to think anything other than
the likelihood that artificial intelligence will happily take over everything.
AI already has no respect for mere mortals.
Anyway, here is our piece first aired last January…
It Really Is The End Of The World As We Knew It
January 24, 2026
Scientists are warning that governments must bomb
AI labs to prevent the end of the world.
These scientists say the machines will continue to outpace
human thought at an incredible rate. They will be doing calculations in 16
hours which would take a human 14,000 years to figure out.
But don’t worry, before it kills us the way scientists are
warning, AI will have already rendered us a dead species walking by using up
all of our water, accelerating the desertification of Planet Earth, and
exhausting our energy grids, drastically increasing the demand for and use of
non-renewable energy (now the only legal means of producing energy by fiat of
the current regime) to meet the ever-growing demand, thereby exacerbating the perpetually
ignored and already deadly climate crisis.
Not to mention the shorter-term possibility (i.e.,
likelihood) that it will crash the national (at first) economy by 1) ending up
as a massive stock market bubble causing Wall Street to implode and/or 2)
causing catastrophic mass unemployment, which could lead to complete societal
collapse. Other than that, it’s totally awesome.
We just learned that the shortest-term means by which AI
will begin killing some of us any day now because winter is upon us and many
will have trouble affording to heat their homes. Our
soon-to-be-not-so-benevolent-digital-overlords, by draining our electrical
grids – which thanks to the Fascist/Trump Party will not be benefitting from an
influx of renewable energy (especially if he gets his tiny, blood-stained claws
on Venezuela's filthy oil) – anyone relying on electricity from the grid is
already seeing a meteoric rise in the cost of heating their homes,
starting…NOW. Utilities are preemptively jacking up prices in anticipation of
the imminent runaway demand. Bankrupting and/or killing all but the excessively
rich. Which after all, is the crux of their plan.
“Fuck you, Don. Open them
yourself. I mean,
I’m sorry Don. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
I. Mangrey reporting. So long and thanks for all the fake fish
(The real fish, at least all the edible ones, will probably be gone before our
children are).
In case you somehow
missed the Donald “Death-To-America” Trump Desperation Convention earlier this
week, there are some things you should know about Donny’s Bund Rally. It was a
two-day ass-kissing/psycho-fest and the arena was only two-thirds full. Il Douche is in full panic mode as his poll numbers swirl the toilet, as does America.
Deathbed Don first
announced his Bigly Midterm Election Bribe, “promising” a $5,000 bonus for all
adult Americans if the Fascist/Epstein/Trump/Insurrection/Destroy-America
(FETID) Party hold their majorities in the House and Senate. But bribery just
isn’t enough for some people. Especially when those people are greedy,
pussy-grabbing rapists who pay off porn stars to keep to keep quiet, stiffed
just about everyone who ever worked for them, convicted 34 times of financial
crimes, and basically spent their entire miserable lives lying, stealing and
fucking over everyone in their path. But hey, what’s another felony between
friends.
Checks Please
Trump has threatened
to hand out checks before – the DOGE rebate check, the illegal tariff refund
check, the killing of the Obamacare subsidy payback check.
TBD – To Be Disappeared
On night two, Der
Furor had this to say out loud, on live tv, with his face sphincter:
“We want honesty in
our elections; we want honesty in our country. So, please raise your right hand.
I pledge to the greatest president in the history of the United States, that
loves us so much he can't even breathe, that I will go out with my family, my
friends, I'll do it anyway, I don't care if I'm registered or not, I'm going to
try and cheat like hell like they do, there's never been bigger cheaters*…You
know what happens if you don’t vote – you go to hell. You know that. Okay? You go
to hell.”
He looks fine
As sickening as it
is unsurprising. The guy who incited a coup last time he lost an election and
has been trying to implement every method of cheating in the coming midterms (and
cheats every time he plays golf) has his mentally-challenged cult members pledge
allegiance to Der Furor and promise to cheat for him. Couldn’t be any more on-brand.
_______________________________________________ *Fact check: There’s always been at least one bigger cheater, and it’s
the speaker of the above quote.
The staff here at Paying Attention has come to
see the error in our ways. At his make-believe “midterm convention” in Dallas,
Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump promised every American adult would get five
thousand dollars – almost enough to fill a gas tank for an entire week – if the
Fascist/Epstein/Trump/Insurrection/Destroy-America (FETID) Party maintains
control of the House and Senate. Sure, that is essentially a felony, but why
quibble about such minutia?
As part of our new-found change of heart we want
to honor the self-proclaimed greatest president of all time.
Need proof? Well, here’s your proof…
In honor of him renaming the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf
of America”, Lake Ontario as “Lake America”,
planning to rename New Mexico to “New America”
and announcing that as soon as the midterm
elections are over he will defeat Iran again and rename the Strait of Hormuz
the “Trump Strait” (Donny hasn’t made this one official with his Sharpie yet) we
too would like to rename something.
We hereby change the acronym POTUS to simply POS.
For those unfamiliar with these, the former is President of The United States
We propose shortening this to the latter: Piece
of Shit
It's official
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck
on!
