The Offend Is Near

One Happy Thought

November 1, 2020

Wouldn’t it be funny if Joe Biden wins bigly on election night and then Chrump whines that he won’t concede until all of the mail-in ballots have been counted?

I think it would.

This Is NOT A Joke:

After Chrump loses this election, Democrats should immediately open up new impeachment proceedings (pick one article from Column A and one from Column B, or just head straight for the high-crimes-and-misdemeanors buffet and fill up an impeachment plate) against the crippled mallard to keep him and his enablers too busy to trash the country (what’s left of it) on their way out the door. Drag it out until January 20, 2021 so that the new Congress will have to vote on it, making Donald Chrump the first American president to not only be twice impeached, but convicted after his term expired. This is no joke. Mitch McConnell is planning to continue shitting on the Constitution and appointing incompetent ideologues to the federal courts. He needs to be made to focus on other things and impeaching of Chrump and/or Barr qualify. Do it Democrats. This is no time to adhere to anything other than protecting America from the proverbial drug-crazed tenant bent on trashing the rental before skipping town without paying for damages.

A Man For No Reasons

Chrump greets his fans at a super-spreader rally,
before leaving them to freeze to death on the tarmac

Just so we’re clear about who makes up Chrump’s base:    

            

Guess who these guys are voting for

Naturally, some of Chrump’s very fine people fit into a number of the above categories – not that there’s anything right with that. And to be fair, not all of Chrump’s supporters fit into these categories. Only around 90% of them. The rest, I assume, are good people. Not really, I only said that to appear polite. Anyone who supports this fake emperor sans clothes or clue is one of the above, whether or not that is something they are willing to admit. Fuck ‘em.

There are far too many populating the above list to allow for even a shred of comfort. Whatever happens when all the votes are counted, all the dust settles and all the bullets have completed their rounds, America has taken some number of giant, orange steps backward. There are many long-winded questions as to whether or not we can recover from the gravest error this country has made, perhaps since the decision to appease the Slave States in order to form this wholly imperfect union.

Virus ‘R’ Us

Human beings have become a virus on this planet. Donald Chrump has become a virus within the human species, or at the very least within America. He has untethered the virus of hatred and racism that had lain more or less dormant and festering, waiting for the decay of our national immune system to make its move. Chrump has broken down the very soul of this nation, and the opportunistic infection of white, male nationalism is in the process of choking the life out of us. This nation cannot breathe with this knee on our neck. There is no ventilator large enough to force the air back into our lungs. We will need to summon up the internal fortitude to rise from the brink of disaster, enter rehab and with any luck fight our way back to civilization.

While we’re on the subject of viruses, Der Furor continues his quest to prop up the current coronavirus (which should bear his name) to the detriment of a quarter of a million American lost lives and more than 9,000,000 made ill. Chrump’s beloved virus, which he has been diligently defending against science and the American people, may not kill him. Chrump may be immune, but it is becoming increasingly likely that his campaign is not immune and might die a quick death very soon. Who knows? This is just like Chrump pissing his pants, standing in a puddle of his own urine, and sticking his needle-dick into a live outlet, while screaming about how he is immune because he doesn't believe in electricity.

Something good happening in Philadelphia – outside a polling location
(before Philly cops shot another black man)

All You Really Need To Know

A new Yahoo News/YouGov Poll revealed that half (50%) of Trump supporters said they think Democrats are involved in child sex-trafficking rings and eat babies, while another third (33%) aren’t sure. Only about one in six (17%) Trump voters say they don’t believe in such a theory. Most (85%) Biden supporters who have heard of QAnon believe it’s a conspiracy theory with no factual basis.

As you know, we are rounding the turn, rounding the corner, on this so-called election. So remember Republican’ts – you have your own voting day this year to help you avoid a rigged election and to keep you from having to stand near a bunch of idiots listening to the scientists, wearing masks and practicing social distancing. Stay away from all those loser idiots rushing to the polls tomorrow and make sure you get out and vote on November 4th. Don’t believe the fake news; your calendars are all wrong, November 3^rd is a Monday, Tuesday is November 4^th. Believe me. I’m a very stable genus (sic).

The shit is about to hit the fan

I. Mangrey reporting.