Thursday, November 12, 2020

What Happens When Someone Wins The Popular Vote…

And The Electoral College Vote?

November 12, 2020

Today On Spiteline With Ted Koppel…

Our nation continues to be held hostage by Donald Chrump. He lost to Joe Biden bigly and none of his fake lawsuits, designed only to incite his minions to feel aggrieved, stay loyal to their fearful leader and conceivably to commit violence in Chrump’s name. Chrump does not care if his cultists are jailed or killed in acts of obeisance to him. He only cares that he feels popular. He will not pay their legal fees; he does not have any money. He will not shed a tear if they are arrested or shot by law enforcement while breaking the law; he does not have any feelings for anyone but himself (unless you count his pathetic, disgusting lust for Ivanka as feelings).

It is like America is trying desperately to pass a kidney stone. And this is a big one and it is the size and shape of Donald Chrump. The pain is excruciating, but it may require surgery. Passing it the normal way just doesn’t seem to be in the cards. For now, all we can do is stand back and stand by. Chrump has allegedly told some close to him that he will have to be dragged out kicking and screaming. I’m sure we could do some crowdfunding to cover the cost of renting the necessary equipment to haul this toxic blob out of the People’s House at the appointed hour. If not, I am confident we could round up 80,000,000 or so folks to heave him and his suitcases onto Pennsylvania Avenue.

For now, we must sit back and watch him go through his fake lawsuits. He knows they’re fake. He knows he’s fucked. Maybe he’ll have to leave the country. Oh wait, he probably will be on a no-fly list any minute to keep him from skipping town before his court appearances.

America grabbed the Pussy by the ballot box. When you’re a democracy they let you do it. Chrump does not understand the meaning of the word democracy. If he did, he would be dead-set against it. He is at his very core a fascist. This is one reason Chrump cannot accept not being granted a second term. Especially since he has repeatedly discussed having three or four or more terms.

Many people are confused by Der Furor’s plan to settle the election to his liking. It’s all so simple. His message was made clear by his minions in the hours and days after voting ended.

Chrump supporters in Arizona at a point when Chrump was behind in the count:

Much chanting of “Count our votes!”

Meanwhile, across town, Chrump supporters in Pennsylvania at a point when their guy was ahead in the count:

Much chanting of “Stop the count!”

So, there you have it. Chrump wants to have his cake and fuck democracy too.

The troubled toilet tweeter keeps at it

Many of the votes Her Chrump wants uncounted are the votes of our men and women in the military, whose votes are typically the last to arrive and the last to be counted. One could interpret this as Chrump attempting to assure that our service people will be the “suckers and losers” he believes them to be.

The vindictive twerp Chrump is refusing to provide any and all transition resources to the Biden team, withholding funds, access to office space* and even daily intelligence briefings Presidential Daily Briefings or PDBs) to the incoming administration. Bill Clinton, before it was even clear that Bush was going to be appointed president by the Supreme Court, extended every courtesy to the incoming team, including access to the PDBs – a lot of fucking good that did** – not knowing they would mostly go ignored because apparently, Republican’t presidents 1) don’t give a shit about national security, and 2) can’t fucking read.

Chrump is currently purging top Pentagon and Intelligence officials he deems insufficiently subservient and replacing them with mindless sycophants, in an attempt to surround himself with loyalists who will back up his bogus claims of having won a second term, with the likely goal of a coup d’etat. He might want to check with all the suckers and losers in the military to see if they have his back, or if they might prefer giving him a Cesarian ejection.

How Chrump is planning to deal with Biden’s election victory
(with sincere apologies to chimpanzees everywhere)

Or perhaps…

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*This may be a blessing in disguise since the West Wing is swimming in dangerous virus…and COVID-19 too; just about everyone who spends time there ends up infected by the virus, which in some cases is even worse than being infected with Chrump.

** You may recall Bush famously ignoring the August 6, 2001 PDB, five weeks before the 9/11 terrorist attacks in U.S., with the heading “Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.”, and rudely dismissing the agent delivering the briefing.

I. Mangrey, horrified.

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