Monday, November 2, 2020

Thoughts On Election Day Eve

The Polls Are Closing In

November 2, 2020, Later than you think

Donald Chrump, unable to slake his unquenchable thirst for public adoration/murder spree, is leaving a trail of COVID infection across Dumbfuckistan. According to studies, almost every stop on Chrump’s Traveling COVID Contagion Circus – much more look-at-me than vote-for-me – has shown a dramatic increase in cases after he leaves town, having whipped his mindless, maskless minions into a diseased frenzy, and sends them on their way (at times, only after they had to wait for hours in freezing cold temperatures and ending up in the hospital) to infect thousands more, many of whom will die as a result. Donald Chrump is a flesh-eating termite.

In fact, Chrump has always been the most effective messenger for why he should be voted out of town on a rail. Even at the eleventh hour, COVID Donny is working hard at literally killing off his base. A study found that his super-spreader Chrump-a-thons are responsible for 30,000 new coronavirus infections, including 700 deaths. Keep up the good work Mr. Chrump.

For his part, Joe Biden continues to hold medically responsible rallies across the battleground states. That is, when not having to cancel campaign events due to dangerous physical intimidation by Chrump goonsat the behest of Don, Jr. personally, on video. Can you say inciting violence? Biden is not making the mistake Hillary Clinton made by essentially sitting out the final days of the 2016 campaign, assuming her victory was in the bag. Instead, Biden is going full-tilt until the final buzzer. He teamed up with his extremely popular old running mate Barack Obama in Flint, Michigan.

Obama and Biden in Flint

With any luck, tomorrow Joe Biden will be windshield to Donald Chrump’s bug.

Decision Indecision

As I looked ahead to casting my vote in the election of our lifetime – between Joseph Robinette Biden and Donald Jar-Jar-Binks Chrump – it was difficult to decide how to deal with Election Day. First of all, should I mail in a ballot, or risk my very life voting in person. Not only because of the potential of catching a snootful of COVID-19 by being in a crowd, but the chance of standing dangerously close to one or more possibly armed Chrump enthusiast with their idiotic MAGA hats, not wearing masks, and the likely inability to keep myself from barfing all over my polling place at the thought of these people making up distressingly close to half of the American electorate.

Feeling lucky not to be among Chrump’s hard-fought death count, I ended up canceling my mail-in ballot in order to see my vote on the evening news on Election Night. Since I am going to vote in person, I will have to protect myself by constantly spraying my mask with alcohol and wearing my own semi-appropriate, decidedly non-MAGA hat. I will try to resist drinking disinfectant or trying to shine ultraviolet light up my ass as recommended by Brainless Leader. 

Election Day Eve Quandary

My main problem though, is I am torn over what to do as the returns meander in after polls close. It’s hard to decide whether I should stay up all night to watch the election returns as I usually do, or just go to bed early and hope I never wake up. 

If you haven’t done so already

In any event, I know how I’m going to start my evening…

This should keep me happy while watching the returns…for a little while at least

One thing I do know with absolute certainty…

I Won’t Vote Trump!!

These have been your Paying Attention Thoughts On Election Day Eve.

You're welcome.

What are your thoughts on Election Day Eve?

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