The Elections Are Coming! The Elections Are Coming!
October 29, 2024
You are likely aware
that the most consequential election since the Civil War era is looming like
Putin’s finger hovering over the nuclear button, with all the physical
steadiness of someone with late-stage Parkinson’s and the psychological
stability of, oh I don't know, Donald Fucking Trump. In one
agonizing, sleepless, nauseating, week (give or take a day, week or months), we
will learn the fate of the unique experiment in governance brought forth on
this continent (without consent of its original inhabitants or those brought
here against their will or those unfortunate to have been born without penises)
in the late eighteenth century after the alleged birth of Jesus Christ.
Grab a cup of
coffee, a sandwich, a stiff drink, some edibles and/or whatever, this is gonna be a
long post. But there are plenty of pretty pictures to break up the prolific, painful
prose. Oh look, here comes one now
We here at
Paying Attention™ are
remaining nauseously optimistic thanks to the likes of Taylor Swift, Billie
Eilish, Oprah Winfrey, Willie Nelson, Bruce Springsteen – whose endorsement was
a thing of beauty – and more than 100 former and present Republicans including
war criminal Dick Cheney (to quote Jon Stewart reporting on this endorsement,
“Fuck Dick Cheney”) and his daughter, who lost her House seat because she stood
up for the Constitution and the rule of law after the man she voted with 96% of
the time attempted to overthrow our duly elected government because the
American electorate insisted he should no longer be in it.
And we would
be remiss if we did not give a dishonorable mention to the moronic, cowardly
shithead and 43rd (and previous worst) president George WTF Bush,
who decided to remain on the silent sidelines. Bush II has not endorsed Kamala
Harris and Tim Walz. His already disgraceful legacy will now be capped off by
this shameful inaction. Fuck him and whores he rode in on. May he rot in the
hell he pretends to believe in.
Once again,
nearly half of all Fascist/Trump
Party candidates for Senate, governor and election officials across the country
are election denying psychopaths/traitors. That number of course only includes
those who are damaged enough to admit to it publicly, but as we know, these Trumpers cannot be trusted for
at least a generation. Many of these hate-filled, halfwits are unfit for tying
their own shoes, let alone protecting and defending the Constitution of the
United States of America – particularly when it comes to enemies domestic,
which is them, despite their delusional bleating to the contrary.
Kari Lake who
still believes she is the governor of Arizona despite losing in 2022, actually
said that “if MLK, Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, if JFK
were alive today, if our founding fathers were alive today, they would be
America-First [i.e., MAGA/fascist] Republicans.” Also, when asked if she would
accept the results of the election, Lake responded repeatedly, “I am going to
win the election, and I will accept that result.” She had previously made it
clear that she will not accept any other result. Unbowed, and seemingly
unconscious, Lake is on the ballot again, running for a Senate seat vacated by
nutjob Kyrsten Sinema. It looks like Lake will be beaten even more soundly this
time around. We look forward to seeing her fight like hell to overturn her
latest humiliating defeat.
Then there’s
Mark Robinson, the Trump-endorsed candidate for North Carolina governor.
Anti-Semite (he called the Holocaust "hogwash"), anti-LGBTQ+,
self-described “Black Nazi” who from the pulpit said “some people need killing,”
and has waxed nostalgic about slavery. Did I mention he's Black? Robinson is credibly alleged to have been an
obsessed frequenter of porn shops and porn sites online. Robinson says that
abortion is "murder" and "genocide," yet he and his wife
chose abortion 35 years ago. That is all I have to say about that.
One of the
most notable numbskulls on the ballot this year of course is Ohio senator JD
Vantz*, who it turns out is Trump’s
ruining mate. Vantz has called Trump
an “idiot”, “reprehensible,” “noxious” and “cultural heroin.” Vantz posited
that Trump might be
“America’s Hitler” and now has his head so far up Donald’s ass that he can see
Russia out of America’s Hitler’s mouth. Vantz still insists that Trump won in 2020 and was
picked to replace the guy Trump
wanted hanged on January 6, 2021 because Vantz will gladly burn the
Constitution and override the will of the voters and even the absurd Electoral
College after Trump gets
thumped on November 5th. Vantz is as anti-democracy as Trump, plus Vantz actually
knows what that means. He is also intimately linked to a sectional sofa…I mean,
Project 2025: The End of Democracy in America.
"I have no cognitive."
Frequent quote from DarnOld Trump
The rest of
the Fascist/Trump Party
candidates are just your run-of-the-mill fascist, election-denying,
anti-choice, anti-science, pro-gun-death, racist, anti-Semitic nut-jobs who
want to kill Social Security, Medicare, education, elections, pregnant women
who need medical attention and possibly you. And don’t even get me started on
the House candidates. It would be difficult to out-dumb-fuck the current crop
of kooks. Their new normal, following the lead of their convicted felon/brainless
leader, is to reject any election they do not win.
Makes me think
of Gil Scott-Heron from his 1974 H2Ogate Blues:
We leave America to ponder the image of
justice from its new wave of leaders: Frank Rizzo, the high school graduate mayor
of Philadelphia, whose ignorance is surpassed only by those who voted for him.
The
Insurrection Election
This will be
the first presidential election since the January 6 insurrection kick-off. The
insurrection continues to fester. The disgraced, twice-impeached, failed
insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-fake-president –
now featuring 34 felony convictions – continues to spew his big lie (that is,
when he’s not busy whining about crowd sizes past and present). His
mentally-defective minions continue to support his big lie. He always knew it
was a lie. They all know it’s a lie now because Trump has admitted more than once that he “lost by a
whisker.” Just for the record, a seven-million-vote margin of victory is not a whisker; it’s a
fucking T-Rex. The only way to believe Trump’s Big Lie at this point is to be brain-dead.
The Fascists are coming! The fascists are coming!
In honor of
this historic event – the long-avoided second attempt to tear asunder the
fragile experiment initiated by the likes of Jefferson, Adams, Washington and
all the other wealthy, famed, white male slave owners, and land barons via
civil war – our in-house poets here at Paying Attention™ have crafted a remake of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s classic
(historically inaccurate) Paul Revere’s Ride.
I.
Mangrey’s Snide
by Henry Whatsworth Shorttemper
Henry Whatsworth Shorttemper
Look now, my children, and you shall
see
The midnight blog of I. Mangrey,
On the fifth of November, in Twenty-Four,
You must realize what may be in store,
As you go off to do your civic duty.
I blogged to his friends, “If Trump
should prevail,
At the booth, through the post, in the Senate or House,
You will surely witness democracy fail,
If elections that day favor fascist and louse;
One person, one vote, has been how it has worked,
‘Til our rights, by the High Court, off have been jerked.”
I. Mangrey joins others to raise the alarm,
Through ranting and blogging and flailing his arms,
Exposing the assholes, their dangers and harms.
So through these dark weeks I.
Mangrey still blogs,
And so through the weeks he skewers these dogs,
In desperate attempt to help preserve freedom,
For two-leggeds, four-leggeds, waters and treedom;
A voice from the internets bellowing warning,
And words that shall echo from nighttime ‘til morning!
One vote if in person, or one if by mail,
To stop the planned steal, lest democracy fail,
In this hour of darkness and peril and need,
Recall all the months, and now many a year,
The harrying blog posts, the rant and the screed,
Of I. Mangrey’s warnings, à la Paul Revere.
Here’s Randy Rainbow – seeming a bit more caustic than usual,
and who could blame him – to sing us out
___________________________________________________
*A word we learned from Capt. Hawkeye
Pierce at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit while he searched for a crossword
answer to the clue “Five letters: A Yiddish word for bedbug.”
I. Mangrey reporting. We hold this bullshit to be self-evident.
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