Monday, October 21, 2024

Cruzin’ For A Losin’

October 21, 2024

We need to take a break from DarnOld Trump and his rapid mental decline – his douchey dancing, his need to regale his nitwits with tales of Arnold Palmer’s dick (who died eight years ago)and constantly whining about acing cognitive tests, not to mention the unhinged lies, fascism and championship-level stupid. Unfortunately, we have been so traumatized by following the giant ham hock in a suit that we ended up looking into the hotly contested Senate race in Texas. The most hated man in Congress (you need to up your game Matt Gaetz) is still Ted Cruz, who is running against Rep. Colin Allred who is well within striking distance of finally ousting Cancun Cruz from the Senate

In 2008, Texas Solicitor General Ted Cruz went to court to defend a law banning the sale of sex toys. According to Mother Jones, "The brief by Cruz's office compared the use of sex toys to 'hiring a willing prostitute or engaging in consensual bigamy,' and it equated advertising these products with the commercial promotion of prostitution." But US Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit thought this argument was stupid. Cruz wanted to make sure he was the only dildo in the state of Texas.

His old college roommate weighed in:

Peter King (R-NY), no liberal he, vigorously endorsed Cruz’s presidential bid in 2016. King explained his excitement at the thought of a Cruz nomination saying, “I tell you, I don’t know — I’ll get some cyanide. I don’t know what I’ll do. I mean, I’ll just — you know, not gonna tell you.”

Ultra-reactionary Linsey Graham’s take on Ted? “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody could convict you.”

And then there’s former Minnesota Senator Al Franken

The Germans have a word for it.




I. Mangrey reporting. This is not exactly fun. 

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