Time To Require White People To Prove They Should Be Allowed To Vote
October 16, 2024
Were you sickened to your core during the Trump/Harris debate, watching Trump lose his shit and scream
about a previously completely debunked lie that Haitians in Ohio were “eating
the dogs, eating the cats, eating the pets of the people who live there?”
Did you throw up in your mouth a little when VD Vantz
refused to answer if he thought Trump
lost the 2020 election, saying he was focused on the future, and in the same
breath talking about the past?
Tim Walz: Did [Trump] lose the 2020 election?
Vantz: Tim, I’m focused on the future; did Kamala
Harris censor Americans from speaking their mind in the wake of the 2020 COVID
situation?
Walz: That is a damning non-answer.
Were you sickened that no one in the media even noticed
this? Are you looking for a way to offset the mental midgetry exhibited by many
of the blindly loyal, excessively white and witless Trump voters?
Brought to you by the good folks at Paying Attention™, the people who brought you VOTEGRA and RENT-A-COMA. In case you haven’t
noticed, American’s electoral system is a complete and total disaster, even
ignoring the disgracefully anti-democratic Electoral College that pisses all
over the popular vote across the nation.
We at Paying Attention™ are calling for a complete and total ban on ignorant,
purposefully uninformed, mentally defective people being allowed to vote. We
would prefer that they be kept out of the White House as well. To quote our
very own Disaster-in-chief DarnOld Trump, “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.”
Only two words are necessary to drive home the importance of this issue: Donald
Trump.
America needs a way to ensure that people casting ballots
are actually capable of doing so. We cannot allow our cherished elections to be
overrun by mercury-infested mental midgets. Age is not the real issue. I
suppose it is fair that children cannot vote even though they are, in many
ways, smarter than most adults, and the consequences of elections impact them,
if not more so, then certainly for a longer time. Gender is not the issue –
even though all of our founding fathers, and their children, and their
children’s children and so on, all the way until 1920, found it unnecessary, if
not unacceptable, for women to vote. Race is not the issue – at least not
officially…anymore – with the exception of Texas, North Carolina, South
Carolina and a few other less flagrantly racist states. We have already tried
the literacy test, and as it had nothing to do with literacy, it was
disgraceful.
However, in these modern times when tiny cameras can be dispatched
into your colon to see what is going on in there, when satellites and drones
(some, the size of dragonflies) can tell how many hairs are on your head
(unless you happen to have them wrapped around and around and around like a
heap of badly-colored cotton candy), and microwave ovens can – according to
Kellyanne Conjob – turn themselves into spy cameras (what, no space lasers?)
for George Soros, it is time to bring modern technology to bear on our most
fundamental and (theoretically) cherished rights – the right to vote. And not
just the ability to have our votes hacked, changed or deleted.
We need new technology to Make Voting Great Again. Remember,
our Founding Fathers only wanted wealthy, land-owning white males to vote…for
electors (the Electoral College), who in turn would decide who would be
president, too often in opposition to the will of the voting public. Now just
about everyone can vote, but there clearly needs to be more to voter
registration than being over the age of 18, not currently serving a felony rap,
and having a pulse.
You don’t just automatically get a driver’s license when you
turn 16. You have to prove a certain level of competency before you can be
unleashed upon the driving public. And let’s face it, even the most horrendous
car accidents are only likely to kill a few unfortunate souls. But, a
horrendous voting accident – like George WTF Bush being appointed by the
Supreme Court after they illegally stopped the vote count in Florida, or like
Donald Trump winning the Electoral College after being thumped at the actual
polls – can disrupt the entire global infrastructure for decades after the
fact.
So You Think You Can
Vote
What we need is a way to determine that before you cast a
vote, that you have sufficient social and mental capacity to know what the hell
you are getting all of us into. There is more at stake than making sure you can
carry an assault weapon while you are getting shit-faced at the local bar, or
that you cannot be forced to make a wedding cake for a gay couple, or that your
teen-aged neighbor who was raped by her father is forced to have that baby, or
that your taxes – which are more than most people make in a year or two –
should be lowered. What this country needs is a Mental Detector. We need one
in the White House, we need several in the Capitol building, and since some of
our elected officials are so intent on voter ID, it is time to install mental detectors
at all polling places. It does not even matter if you are Democrat or
Republican’t, registered to vote, living or dead. (Apparently many dead people
forget to cancel their voter registration, but almost none of them vote. Some
say this is illegal, but what if it is simply incredible dedication?) All we
really need to know, and obviously now more than ever, is whether or not you
are electorally competent before we let you select people to run this nation
for years on end. America needs the
amazing new Mental
Detector™ to weed out the mental defectives. First from the
electorate, and then hopefully from holding office.
Moron-a-Tron’s Mental
Detector™ can detect even the smallest hint of meaningful, reality-based
brain activity, and not just the kind that keeps your vital functions humming
along. Wouldn’t it be great to know what you are talking to before wasting valuable
time trying to discuss politics with the guy screaming on the subway about how
great Trump is? Once it
is determined that there is more than a festering vacuum between the ears, the
amazing new Mental Detector™ begins phase two. It measures
brain waves and can determine if the person being scanned has any factual knowledge
of American history, foreign affairs and maybe a current event or two. Addiction
to Fux News and alternative facts is immediately recognized by Mental Detector™.
Moron-a-Tron: Show mental defectives the door
Mental Detector™ can
ascertain if the subject has ever read, or has even the vaguest notion of what
is in the Constitution (the real one, not the imaginary one so many Americans
claim to have faith in), a reasonable grasp of current events (the real ones,
not the ones on Fux News, or what appears on Trump’s Anti-Truth Anti-Social feed), and the way our
government works.
Unfortunately, even the best mental detectors known to man
cannot fight voter suppression, gerrymandering, voting machine hacking and Ratpublican’t
COLLUSION with Russian election meddling (not to mention the dangerous,
criminal Supreme Court), but we need all the help we can get. If you are not
mentally defective, get out and vote like your life depends on it. Thanks to
DarnOld “Fascist-to-the-Core”* Trump,
it does.
_________________________________________________
*A direct quote from Trump’s former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen.
Mark ,
who believes that Trump is the most dangerous
person in America.
Another quality product brought to you by your good friends
at Paying Attention™
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