October 17, 2024
Earlier this week, Trump hijacked his own town hall in Oaks, Pennsylvania hosted by proud dog-shooter Kristi Noem. First
of all, why the fuck was Gravel Pit Granny hosting a town hall in PA? Was it
because no politician from that state wanted to be seen with, or close enough
to smell Trump? Trump babbled in response to four questions from his adoring
idiots, after which two unfortunate attendees passed out and required medical
attention.
Once he
was able to redirect the crowd’s attention, Diaper Don proceeded to become the
world’s oldest (and worst) disc jockey, calling out tunes – including two versions
of the rousing crowd-pleaser Ave Maria – with which to regale the increasingly
stunned and befuddled crowd.
While
the music played, Trump just wobbled, shuffled and “danced” around for 39
minutes, frequently standing within butt’s reach of the cushioned stool he had
sat in earlier. As the second version of Ave Maria began to play, the tiny-hands
dancer told his servant, “Nice and loud. Turn it up louder, we want a little
action here.” Because nothing energizes a crowd like the peppy strains of Ave
Maria. Especially the instant replay.
Why did Trump continue standing for 39 minutes of Radio WTF? To prove he has stamina? To soften
up his bone spurs? There is a non-zero chance that Trump remained standing the
entire time because his diaper was too full to sit down.
And you
just know that Kristi Noem was chomping at the bit to take her dear leader out
to the gravel pit (think Lenny at the end of Of Mice and Men).
his staff thought the music fest had mercifully, finally ended
The
entirely mentally stable Trump closed the show by saying he would take one more
question from the baffled, exhausted, dumbass masses. He immediately hijacked
that concept of a plan slurring, “You wanna do one? Let’s go. Let’s go. You
know, but it ends so beautifully. How about this? We’ll play YMCA, and we’ll go
home.” (actual quote…really, I swear) And that is exactly what happened. A very
stable genius.
Last,
but not least, Trump’s mouth (brain sold separately) told the audience, “If
everything works out, if everyone gets out and votes on January 5th…”
A sentiment we here at Paying Attention™ wholeheartedly support…for Trump voters.
Medical
records, please!*
____________________________________________
*After witnessing this bizarre episode, more
than 230 doctors and health care providers called on Bad Grandpa to release the
medical records Trump claims are
either under audit, or in a lock-box along with his tax returns and Obama’s
real birth certificate, or none of your goddam business.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
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