Broken News – LATE EDITION

Tin Soldiers Are Being Gunned Down

November 26, 2025

We at Paying Attention™ are not prone to traffic in conspiracy theories, but hell, everybody else is doing it. Why should we be voluntarily consigned to adhere strictly to reality and facts – and not even alternative facts.

Earlier today two National Guardsmen were severely wounded by a gunman, very near the Remains of the White House. The shooter’s motive has not yet been made public, if indeed it has been determined.

If this was a mass school shooting of small children, Alex Jones would be frothing at the mouth about it being a false-flag operation – a staged event meant to sway public opinion against the slaughter of the American citizenry by completely unnecessary weapons of mass murder; certainly not the unwieldy, unreliable muskets of the Second Amendment.

Anyway, here goes nothing.

Or is it actually something? 

Either way, please enjoy this completely irresponsible, baseless, paranoid, trumped-up scenario, almost certainly untrue, but utterly believable given the current state of affairs and myriad bad actors in this passionless play. And the fact that The shooter was granted asylum this year – by the Trump administration, a fact that Trash Patel’s fake FBI conveniently left out of their briefing. Hmmmm.

A judge recently ruled that it was illegal for the National Guard to be deployed in Washington, DC for no particular reason other than our perniciously petulant pseudo-president enjoys throwing his considerable weight and criminal Supreme Court ordered superpowers to remain above the law. This did not please Der Furor or his heinously hawkish hit-man now incompetently heading up the Department of Defense – that’s right, I called it the Department of Defense, despite the desire of some to pretend it now goes by a different, more violent, previously discarded name*.

So, how odd would it be for the most violent, lawless, anti-American president, who once asked civilian military leaders if they could just shoot peaceful protesters – American citizens – in the legs to get them to shut the fuck up, to hire someone to shoot members of the National Guard (illegally stationed in our nation’s capital through no fault of their own, perhaps even trying to discern whether or not they were obeying unlawful orders), in order to create an actual excuse for troops to be increased rather than being drawn down as was ordered by the courts.

The shooter was himself shot by authorities and is being detained in the hospital. It will be interesting to see if he makes it through the night.

Either way, who will stop Osama bin Trump from bringing this country to its knees in service to his dementia, toxic narcissism and full-on fascist tendencies? It surely will not be his hostages in Congress.

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*And by the way, that body of water west of Florida, it’s the Gulf of Fucking Mexico.
 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Thanksgiving Eve duties.

We here at Paying Attention™ know what we would like to be thankful for.