Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Broken News – Driving Miss Donny

The Reflecting Fool

July 15, 2026

Despite his brain remnants having one lobe out the door leading to permanent hiatus, Donald “Death-To-America” Trump still has control of the federal government. His still-barely-sentient remains are bound and determined to fuck this country deep into the ground until it is unrecognizable, and very likely permanently damaged beyond repair.

Hopefully, there will be enough left for us to salvage some little sliver of America with the coming midterms and the dislodging of the Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party’s majority in the House, and with some serious luck (fuck you Graham Platner), the Senate (fuck you too, Fetterman).

Speaking of damaged beyond repair, why is there so little mention of Disaster Don taking his motorcade for a Sunday drive through – I kid you not, through – the Reflecting Pool AFTER IT WAS PAINTED AND SEALED. Not to mention his no-bid-contract-buddies, who likely split the no-bid paycheck with Donny Conjob, completely fucked the job sixty ways from Sunday. But mostly, Trump had his motorcade DRIVE LENGTHWISE THROUGH THE REFLECTING POOL AFTER IT WAS PAINTED AND SEALED, which damaged the impregnable, un-cuttable super-strong and powerful rubber sealant before refilling the Pool.

“This [pool coating] will last for at least fifty years* and you’ll never have a leak, it’s very strong. You couldn’t, if you had a knife – I don’t want to give anybody ideas – if you had a knife, you can’t even cut it, so strong, so powerful, it’s powerful rubber.”
                       Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump, May 5, 2026

Apparently, it is not vehicle-proof. And Donny’s motorcade is not made up of your average cars. These are heavily fortified, massively heavy tanks in cars’ clothing.

“We have vandalism… You know, we have a hundred, we have I think a 290, 300-foot slit right through it. Probably a box cutter or a knife of some kind… Who would think that somebody would go into a pool and take a knife and start cutting it?”
                       Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump, June 22, 2026

Yes, there was vandalism involved. It seems some idiot, and a bunch of his buddies drove a bunch of cars all the way across the Reflecting Pool before refilling it with the water that would, in record time thanks to the new stupidly dark color some yahoo insisted, against all advice, decided to paint it, become an instant destination for a massive algae gathering.

Actual news report

In a severely under-reported story, intrepid Paying Attention™ reporter Allison Wunderland has learned that the company responsible for the horrific paint job on the Reflecting Pool is the same one that does Donny’s face.

And one more thing: If you’re reading this Donny, no one put algae in the fucking pool you dimwitted, bleach-drinking bozo. Ask anyone who’s not on your team – it’s called biology. Nature can be annoying, but it’s infinitely stronger, more powerful and definitely smarter than you. But then again, who isn’t.

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*Or 30 days, whichever comes first.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Lindsey Graham bashing.

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