July The 47th

Worst Birthday Ever 

July 4, 2026

This year, if not for the raging racism, fascism and dumb-fuckism of the Trump Era, We The People would be celebrating the 250^th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. America may have declared its independence on that day, but it would take the better part of another century before there was even a hint of humanity and equality, and another century after that before this nation could be considered an actual democracy.

Self-Evident Stuff

The truths those (mostly slave-owning) wealthy white men held to be self-evident in Philadelphia in 1776 – despite the overriding hypocrisy of slavery in which so many of the signers were wallowing (and the genocide that made white people in America possible) – have been on a rickety roller-coaster ever since. Hopping on the ride to a democratic republic seemed like a good idea at the time. To paraphrase Ben Franklin, “A good idea if you can make it real.” The waxing and waning of democratic principles and practices continues to this day. Except, if you could just stop screaming and banging your head against the wall for a moment, you can see a little way up ahead, the track is badly damaged. There just might be enough time for some roller-coaster repair person to at least duct tape the damn thing together enough so that we don’t end up doing a Thelma and Louise off the rails resulting in a high-speed sudden death and in the closing of this not-so-amusement park.

The Farce Of July

Full disclosure: The last big birthday, America’s Bicentennial in 1976, was also a fraught time. We had an unelected president, put there because he promised to pardon his traitorous predecessor, who left in disgrace one step ahead of the impeachment squad. As a member of the rag-tag Philadelphia Painted Faces Brigade, I and several others refused to be sequestered far from the focal point of the action at Independence Hall. We took our mini-protest right to the building where it happened. We braved mounted police, undercover FBI agents and angry “patriots” accosting us with the “Love it or leave it” bullshit. We thought that birthday sucked…until we got to today.

I and Anonymous

I don’t know how I would have commemorated America’s 250^th had we not been in our current dilemma. Other than this finely crafted hissy fit the Paying Attention™ team is boycotting all festivities on this day. Surely this would have been a much bigger celebration in Washington, DC had not Donald “Death-To-America” Trump been president, and had he not depressed the living fuck out of most Americans by trashing the economy, the Constitution and perpetrated the most virulent criminal enterprise ever run out of the White House…or the remains thereof. And had he not made everything about him.

from Matt Wuerker

During this shoulda-been celebratory year, love it or hate it, many of us and our ancestors have continuously worked for a more perfect union. Today, we have a fake president, who incited a coup, pardoned those of his followers who were convicted in a court of law for engaging in insurrection, and is still trying to figure a way to make off with nearly two billion of our dollars for the sole purpose of paying off his metastatic minions via his heinous, Orwellian “Anti-Weaponization Fund”. This is meant to provide Trump’s thugs to with something like a million bucks each (unless the My Pillow guy gets the four-hundred-million he’s applying for) and the confidence to rise up again in support of their dear leader and against our democracy and our Constitution when he refuses to leave office on January 20, 2029, putting an ignominious end to this great experiment we call the United States.

Rumor has it* that Trump is planning to have himself lying…I mean lying in state in perpetuity, as president-in-death, for the remainder of time, once he has shuffled off this mortal coil, and gone to meet his hopefully remorseful maker. Like Weekend at Bernie’s…with more fascism.

Trump will have little if anything to say about this nation’s 250-year history. He knows nothing of it. He cares even less. Perhaps one of his sociopathic speech writers will cajole him into making a passing reference to America while he makes this day…say it with me now…all about him.

Don’t Say Yay

You may recall when the great George Takei donated his very name to the fight against Tennessee’s dumb-ass “Don’t Say Gay” law.

George Takei vs. Tennessee's "Don't Say Gay" Bill

Perhaps one day, the rest of us can make it so the word Trump replaces the word ‘fuck’. As in, “Go Trump yourself.” or “What the Trump is going on here?” or “Don’t Trump with me you Trumping asshole.”

This could have the added benefit of being permitted on American television where squeamish fuckwit dinosaurs still rule the airwaves, and in the fucking year 20fucking26 there are still words you can’t fucking say on television. But you can buy enough guns to murder a classroom full of small children in 15 minutes, even if you are mentally unstable. And you can have a 34-time-convicted felon elected president of the United States.

Oh, I almost forgot, it’s about time for a surprise...

Question For The Day:

How fucking fucked up and/or depressingly apropos is it that America is celebrating our 250^th birthday with fucking Donald Fucking Trump as our fucking, fucked-up president?

Asking for a friend.

Bonus Question:

Considering the unfuckingbelievable fact that Flag Day is also the birthday of Donald January 6, 2021 Trump, is this, as suggested by H.L. Mencken, what America was always meant to be?

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*A rumor that originated right here, right now…but you didn’t hear it from us.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Zappa/Beefheart – Bicentennial tribute