De Plane! De Plane!

Boss! De plane! De plane!

Air Farce One: Baby On Board
                   or
Couldn’t Get The Epstein Plane?

July 11, 2026

Funny story, Trump’s Qatari Emolument Express was retro-fitted hastily and is not in appropriate condition to be used as Air Force One. The flying white elephant, which the Qataris unsuccessfully attempted to dump for years and which Baby Donny begged them to give him, and which has already cost nearly a billion dollars* to shoddily upgrade, is without essential military defenses or secure communications technology. No reports of algae...so far, but there are reports of unbreathable air throughout the aircraft of late.

Of course, all Deathbed Donny cares about is how much gold is on the inside. You know what, if Donny wants to risk getting blown out of the sky, that’s his fucking business. He’s a big boy. Let him ride in a gold-plated bi-plane if he wants to. He’s the fucking president of the United States – he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Just ask him.

The only good thing about this flying fuck-up is that Death-To-America Don has no plan to leave this so-called “gift to the United States” for his successors; he is planning to take it with him. To be fair, he will need a large vehicle to store all the rest of the stolen documents and emoluments he will no doubt be claiming for himself if he departs the Remains of The White House with a pulse.

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*Which appears to have been pilfered from the sacred Pentagon budget.

I. Mangrey reporting.