Never Forget

Five Years Ago Today

January 6, 2026

One imagines there will come a time when, as with the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World Wars and other famous conflagrations, there will be those who gain enjoyment by dressing up and performing reenactments of that fateful, hate-filled, traitorous day in January 2021 when deluded Americans ransacked the Capitol and attempted to kidnap and/or kill members of Congress and the Vice President.

For those among us who continue to parrot the bullshit that the disgusting, disgraceful and deadly January 6, 2021 attack and siege of the Capitol was simply a bunch of tourists enjoying a day at the Capitol, might I suggest engaging in a full contact reenactment of that carefree White House three-hour tour. The sociopathic, syphilitic, shithead current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Trump called this heinous act of sedition he instigated and incited – “a day of love”. So reenacting this historic event should be lots of fun for those subsequently pardoned for the crimes against the United States for which they were found guilty and imprisoned. Hell, a bunch of these pardoned perps are planning to hold a reunion today at the Capitol they literally shit all over.*

Those who are so proud of what transpired – of what they did or supported – that day should be happy to, and if not so inclined should be required to reenact those events wherein they play the roles of the law enforcement officers seen in hours of video footage being beaten, tased, gassed, etc.

Thanks to the man who inspired all that love by telling his mentally challenged minions to “fight like hell”, there are thousands of convicted lovers that their Dear Leader fake-absolved of their sins and sentences that they might walk among us again as free men and women, we are still at risk.

While this might sound appealing to some of these violent MAGAts, there is a catch. We have a few rules in mind.

And seriously, what is the thing sticking out of his collar? It looks over-cooked.

We are proposing that all of Trump’s loving “patriots”, at least the ones who didn’t end up back behind bars after being set free for no good reason, must be first in line to take part in the festivities, and anyone who supported their Capitol Love Fest of January 6, 2021 will be also be volunteering to join their heroes in the proposed full-contact events…whether they fucking like it or not.

If these reenactments do not spring up organically soon, those who insist Trump’s coup attempt was a day of love – especially those who took part, and even more so those who were granted their grossly inappropriate get-out-of-justice-free cards from the creature who instigated the attack – will be conscripted to participate. Surely, these “patriots” will be happy to fulfill the debt to society they were unable to complete thanks to their lard and savior granting them bone spurs…I mean pardons.

Their ranks should also include the likes of Josh Hawley, who egged on the mob before ultimately being caught on video running for his miserable life once the day of love reached its fever pitch. The reenactors should also include every single lily-livered member of Congress – talking to you Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham and Marco Rubio, among others** – who immediately “held Trump accountable” before slithering away into the Great American Memory Hole, ultimately preferring to turn tail and kiss the ring and ass of their traitorous tyrant. Even the mostly dead Mitch McConnell should be wheeled into the fray to take his chances with the reenacted love.

It will be fun to click on the many YouTube videos of Ted Cruz getting tased, Lindsey Graham violated where the sun don’t shine with a Confederate flagpole, Kevin McCarthy slathered in bear spray, and Margie Taylor Greene, who despite her recent run-from-Donald moment, said at the time, “If Steve Bannon and I had organized that, we would have won. Not to mention, it would have been armed. Yeah. See, that’s the whole joke isn’t it?” No, I don’t see, and no that was no joke asshole (BTW, still 90% asshole).

Here is one proposed participant playing the part of Officer Daniel Hodges, the image of whom is one of the iconic and sickening ones of that homegrown Pearl Harbor-esque day:

Don Trump reenacting the near-death of Officer Daniel Hodges

Any of the 140 members of law enforcement injured on that disgraceful day will be invited to engage in the role-reversal reenactments, or to send such representatives of their choosing in their place – you know, like veterans who risked their lives to protect our democracy from those crazed fiends of Jan 6. The surviving family members of those who perished in the assault will also be invited to join in these patriotic, cathartic events.

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*This mangy mob of malevolent maggots will likely not include the not few who have been re-arrested for things like child rape, vehicular manslaughter or threatening to murder Democratic officials like House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. That is, unless Trump re-pardons them, which let’s face it, is not even a minor bending, let alone a stretch.
**These are the people responsible for every disgusting, traitorous, fascist act committed by Trump, who they could have and should have convicted after his second impeachment trial, but chose their own greed and power over the best interests of this nation. If they had been loyal patriots rather than sniveling rat-bastards we would never had to (hopefully) live through a second, potentially fatal, Trump presidency. Fuck them all the way to hell.

I. Mangrey reporting. And hoping.

Thought For The Day – On The Road To Run

A Runaway American Nightmare

January 5, 2026

There is no ‘i’ in run. Unless of course you’re talking about the way Donald Trump runs this country (and soon, Venezuela…et al).  

 

Speaking of ‘i’, this is how Trump spells Venezuela: Iraq.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Fraught For The Day – New Year, Same Old Trump

Will He Bomb The Epstein Files Next?

January 5, 2026

Just so we’re all clear on this.

During his slurring, halting, sociopathic statement informing the American public of his unlawful kidnapping of the (horrible, criminal) Venezuelan president, Trump made scant mention of the claimed reason for Maduro’s “arrest”, his so-called “narco-terrorism” – which like “enemy combatant” from the Bush/Cheney years (Remember when we thought they were the absolute worst?) is a made-up, bullshit term.

To be fair, it will be difficult to claim Maduro’s cocaine trafficking as an issue since Trump has pardoned dozens of major drug traffickers, including former Honduran president Juan Orlando Hernández who was convicted in a U.S. federal court in March 2024 for conspiring to import hundreds of tons of cocaine into the United States. Trump, who had previously pardoned dozens of big-time drug traffickers, cut Hernández loose just weeks ago.

Drill-Baby-Don did mention the word “oil” 25 times.

Want to guess what word was not mentioned at all? DEMOCRACY. Neither did Trump mention free and fair elections or human rights or the several American hostages being held in Venezuela. So I guess we should be happy that our government is no longer pretending the reason for our international regime change escapades is the spread of democracy. In this case it’s the spread of the world’s largest oil supply…from Venezuela to the United States – no matter how dirty and environmentally destructive, not to mention stupid and suicidal its extraction and processing will be. Earth last.

And the Orange Oaf, ever craving his imagined baker’s dozen of Nobel Peace Prizes, who literally – all the while whining about not winning his peace prizes – bombed seven countries last year alone (Yemen, Syria, Nigeria, Somalia, Iran, Iraq and Venezuela), has started this new year off by bombing Venezuela again. And Trump is now threatening to ‘intervene’ in Iran and Mexico. Mr. Gimme-My-Peace-Prizes is now claiming to have ended 8¼ wars across the globe.

Martin Mull – Bombed Anyway

The only peace-adjacent thing Trump ever did was crying bone spurs in order to avoid fighting for the country he has long pretended to care about. Draft-Dodging Don said he was “not afraid of boots on the ground” in Venezuela. Just as long as he’s not in them.

Lastly, a large majority of Americans also favor regime change. Just not in Venezuela.

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.*

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*Just kidding. Freak out.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

You're welcome. 

Schmuck Of The Day – A Perennial Schmuck

Iran First

January 4, 2026

Yeah, this pales in comparison to invading Venezuela, but truth be told, this was scheduled to go online before that. So, at least this is somewhat less nerveracking.

Well, it’s only three four days in and our constant-repeat loser is good old, deteriorating Donny Trump. Way to go maestro.

From Un-truth Social

Former Defense Secretary Mark T. Esper said President Donald Trump inquired about shooting peaceful protesters amid the unrest that took place after George Floyd's murder in 2020.

According to Esper, “The president was enraged. He thought that the protests made the country look weak, made us look weak and ‘us’ meant him. And he wanted to do something about it. We reached that point in the conversation where he looked frankly at [Joint Chiefs of Staff] Gen. [Mark] Milley and said, ‘Can't you just shoot them, just shoot them in the legs or something?’ ... It was a suggestion and a formal question. And we were just all taken aback at that moment as this issue just hung very heavily in the air.”

Just so we’re all on the same page, Trump is all protect peaceful protesters in Iran, but shoot them in the legs here at home. Now that’s some serious fucking America First bullshit.

We’d say “Encore” but there’s no need. He’ll never stop.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck on!

Don’t Cry For Us Venezuela

The Biggest Threat To America*

January 3, 2026

Donald “Death To America” Trump with his two most dangerous henchmonkeys

As if the danger Trump poses to America and the world had not been proven a thousand times over in 2025, this brand-new year is promising more of the same…if we’re lucky.

Unfortunately, our luck may have already run out. In a new wrinkle (i.e., crevasse) Donald “Death To America” Trump has decided that none of his other distractions from the five or ten or eleventy million more Epstein Pedo-files, featuring Trump more than anyone else including Epstein, are working. He needed to up his game, which is never good news for anyone else, maybe not even for him.

In the dead of night, which the very stable genius described as “dark”, Trump authorized – since no one else is permitted to do anything on their own – U.S. forces to unilaterally invade Venezuela and kidnap their president Nicolás Maduro and his wife. Granted, Maduro is a scumbag, so I guess it takes one to know one. And kidnap one. And throw geopolitics into more turmoil.

But don’t worry, the United States is the global idiot savant at managing ad lib, enforced regime change. Minus the savant.

One assumes we are being greeted as liberators as we speak.

Bumble, Bumble, Oil And Trouble

Naturally, Congress was not notified until presumably they saw it posted on “Truth” “Social”. Trump took time out from his busy shopping and golfing schedule to croak out a haltingly-read statement earlier today in which he explained

“We're there now, but we're going to stay until such time as the proper transition can take place. So we're going to stay until such time as – we're going to run it, essentially, until such time as a proper transition can take place...We're going to have our very large United States oil companies, the biggest anywhere in the world, go in, spend billions of dollars, fix the badly broken infrastructure, the oil infrastructure, and start making money for the country…”

Yeah, for “the country”. No doubt the selfless oil companies will pull Venezuela up by their bootstraps and have no intention whatsoever of taking those bootstraps and eventually wrapping them lovingly around Venezuela’s throat in order to asphyxiate them. Out of altruism, of course. And love.

Happy Fucking New Year.

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*It sure ain’t Venezuela. Or Mexico, which is next on Trump’s To Undo list.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

King Con

January 3, 2026 

“Affordability is a hoax started by Democrats.”

“It’s a con job. I think affordability is the greatest failure.”

“They always have a hoax. The new word is afford-a-bil-ity.”

“The word ‘affordability’ is a con job by the Democrats. They say afford —
I watched the other day where some very low-IQ
congresswoman talked about affordability, affordability, affordability.”

“You know, there’s this fake narrative that the Democrath (sic) talk about, they
talk about affordability. They just say the word. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Dear Donald:

Actually, it does mean something ya dumbass. Let’s see if we can help you figure this out. First, let’s see if you can stay awake for a minute while you’re not talking. When someone can’t afford something, what is it they can’t afford? Try to keep up, this is the important part. They can’t afford to pay the price. Get it? Affordability means pricing. You saying that the 2026 elections will be about pricing means precisely that it’s about afford-a-bil-i-ty, as you like to say it. Idiot.

“I think it’s going to be about the success of our country. It’ll be about pricing 
(italics mine, bullshit his). Because, you know, they gave us high pricing,
and we’re bringing it down.”**

So nice fucking try, asshole. And no, they didn’t.

However bad the economy you inherited might have been (and it was better than everyone else’s at the time) was however much of the mess you left Joe Biden he had not yet been able to fix. So the shit you inherited was your own shit. Maybe you just needed to flush a few more times. Or drink some bleach.

And guess what dipshit, what do you think is the main cause of poor affordability (never mind, you are clearly clueless about all of this, but at least you are certain that you know better than anyone)? Go on, guess. Here’s a hint: It’s the tariffs, stupid. No, it’s not Joe Biden. Try again Mr. Cognitive.

And double-guess-what triple-dipshit, thanks to you and your cult members in Congress average premiums under the Affordable Care Act are going up by 114% for more than 20 million people. Because you wanted to eliminate government subsidies so you could instead subsidize fucking billionaires.

Thanks for making it the Unaffordable Care Act. As in no affordability. As in horrible pricing. Asshole. Many people are simply dropping health insurance, hoping you die before they do.

Thank you for your limited attention to this matter. And good luck on your weekly cognitive test.

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*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.
**Not sure about ‘it’, but you’re damn sure bringing us down.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.

Broken News – Send In The Shamans

Bring In The Pros

January 2, 2025

If you haven’t made it through the Paying Attention™ predictions for the new year (here, here and here), what are you waiting for? Don’t you realize there are only 365 days left in 2026? You might have already missed a critical prediction becoming reality. That was not something we predicted.

Always willing to acknowledge those who came before and who know more. It turns out a group of South American shamans known for making bold end-of-year predictions issued an ominous warning about President Donald Trump's heath.

Who are we to complain if other predicters predict better, especially such a tantalizing prospect. Join us in keeping our eyes open for this exciting possible development.

We predict great joy to the world if these shamans have a line on the future. Or maybe they just saw these pictures…

 

The incurably pathological liar claimed “The White House Doctors have just reported that I am in PERFECT HEALTH…”(as always, extraneous caps in original). Yes, perfect health for a sickly old man who refuses to exercise, eats like a dumbass college freshman, check that, two dumbass college freshmen and takes four-times the dose of aspirin (which could lead to internal bleeding, especially in such huge doses) recommended by doctors for one person, but again, since he has the bulk of two, maybe the dosage is fine. Personally, I think he might need to up his dosage a bit. He knows best.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thoughts and prayers.

Broken News – CORRECTION

Well, Nobody’s Perfect

January 2, 2025

A few days ago we erroneously reported that the Department of Justice For Trump And No One Else suddenly “found” 1,000,000 “new” Epstein Pedo-file documents. We apologize for this error, though in fairness it was accurate based on all the available information at that time.

We now can report with a very tenuous level of confidence that, based on the latest announcement – on New Year’s Eve – that they in “fact” have “found” 5,000,000* “new” Epstein Pedo-file documents. That’s five million with a capital five.

For now. There’s still plenty of time before the Sun runs out of Hydrogen.

Still cookin’ after all these years

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*It’s actually 5,200,000, but who’s counting.
 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled spam alert.

Guess Who’s Coming To The New Year

When Will They Be Missed?

January 1, 2026

At year’s end every year, various media outlets – all the networks, all the papers, the Oscars etc. – remind us of those known far and wide who passed away during that year. The celebrities, politicians, writers, etc. we lost.

Always seeking to push the envelope, to go where no one has bothered to go before, we at Paying Attention™ bring you 2025’s list of those we were unfortunate not to have lost. Those we have known for far too long, who for whatever reason, despite many of them being astonishingly undeserving, and vigorously unwanted, remain among the living, making many miserable.

Death Be Not Loud

In no particular order, with the exception of the individual topping our list of lingering louts, louses, lightweights, leches and losers who have for another painful year dodged the Grim Reaper’s scythe, we bring you, without shame or regret, Paying Attention™’s 2025 When Will They Be Missed List. The list is exhausting, though not exhaustive:

Donald J. Trump – may God rest his “soul” even if it’s quick and painless*

Stephen Miller – long dead inside, but that’s not good enough

Kash Patel – everybody knows this is no one

Kristi noem – if only dogs had opposable thumbs

Russ vought – there’s a better idea for a project for 2026

Pam Blondi – calling her a whore is insulting to respectable prostitutes everywhere

JD Vance – he can slither, but he can’t hide

Sam Alito, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts – these lifetime appointments have long overstayed their unwelcome (we’ll spare their fellow fuckwits for now)

Rudy Giuliani – his continued existence is now only hurting himself

Ted Nugent – may his ability to remain among us match his talent

Kid Rock – absolutely no reason for this

Kanye Worst – braindead does not count, he still steals breaths

Tulsi gabbard – is she even still alive?

Vladimir putin – seriously, what the fuck already

Kim Jong un – it’s a dumb world after all

And now, a song…well, the lyrics to a song; you will need to provide the audio yourself.

Sung to the tune of Pete Seeger’s Where Have All The Flowers Gone

Why are all these assholes here? Long time overdue
Why are all these assholes here? When will they go? 
Why are all these assholes here?
Psychos love them every one
When will they ever burn?
When will they ever burn? 

Why are all these psychos here? Long time overdue
Why are all these psychos here? When will they go?
Why are all the psychos here?
Shitheads give them all they need
When will they ever leave?
When will they ever leave? 

Why are all these shitheads here? It’s so sick’ning
Why are all these shitheads here?  Why won’t they go?
Why are all these shitheads here?
They think they’re America
What’s fucking wrong with them?
What’s fucking wrong with them? 

What’s wrong with America? I’m just asking
What’s wrong with America? Where did it go?
What’s wrong with America?
Full of shithead, psycho, assholes
Why don’t they all just fuck off?
Why don’t they all just fuck off?

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*The buyer’s remorse from this ghoul is verging on thoughts of suicide or some other -cide.

Hope to see you all (but not them) next year