Guess Who’s Coming To The New Year

When Will They Be Missed?

January 1, 2026

At year’s end every year, various media outlets – all the networks, all the papers, the Oscars etc. – remind us of those known far and wide who passed away during that year. The celebrities, politicians, writers, etc. we lost.

Always seeking to push the envelope, to go where no one has bothered to go before, we at Paying Attention™ bring you 2025’s list of those we were unfortunate not to have lost. Those we have known for far too long, who for whatever reason, despite many of them being astonishingly undeserving, and vigorously unwanted, remain among the living, making many miserable.

Death Be Not Loud

In no particular order, with the exception of the individual topping our list of lingering louts, louses, lightweights, leches and losers who have for another painful year dodged the Grim Reaper’s scythe, we bring you, without shame or regret, Paying Attention™’s 2025 When Will They Be Missed List. The list is exhausting, though not exhaustive:

Donald J. Trump – may God rest his “soul” even if it’s quick and painless*

Stephen Miller – long dead inside, but that’s not good enough

Kash Patel – everybody knows this is no one

Kristi noem – if only dogs had opposable thumbs

Russ vought – there’s a better idea for a project for 2026

Pam Blondi – calling her a whore is insulting to respectable prostitutes everywhere

JD Vance – he can slither, but he can’t hide

Sam Alito, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts – these lifetime appointments have long overstayed their unwelcome (we’ll spare their fellow fuckwits for now)

Rudy Giuliani – his continued existence is now only hurting himself

Ted Nugent – may his ability to remain among us match his talent

Kid Rock – absolutely no reason for this

Kanye Worst – braindead does not count, he still steals breaths

Tulsi gabbard – is she even still alive?

Vladimir putin – seriously, what the fuck already

Kim Jong un – it’s a dumb world after all

And now, a song…well, the lyrics to a song; you will need to provide the audio yourself.

Sung to the tune of Pete Seeger’s Where Have All The Flowers Gone

Why are all these assholes here? Long time overdue
Why are all these assholes here? When will they go? 
Why are all these assholes here?
Psychos love them every one
When will they ever burn?
When will they ever burn? 

Why are all these psychos here? Long time overdue
Why are all these psychos here? When will they go?
Why are all the psychos here?
Shitheads give them all they need
When will they ever leave?
When will they ever leave? 

Why are all these shitheads here? It’s so sick’ning
Why are all these shitheads here?  Why won’t they go?
Why are all these shitheads here?
They think they’re America
What’s fucking wrong with them?
What’s fucking wrong with them? 

What’s wrong with America? I’m just asking
What’s wrong with America? Where did it go?
What’s wrong with America?
Full of shithead, psycho, assholes
Why don’t they all just fuck off?
Why don’t they all just fuck off?

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*The buyer’s remorse from this ghoul is verging on thoughts of suicide or some other -cide.

Hope to see you all (but not them) next year