Broken News – Send In The Shamans

Bring In The Pros

January 2, 2025

If you haven’t made it through the Paying Attention™ predictions for the new year (here, here and here), what are you waiting for? Don’t you realize there are only 365 days left in 2026? You might have already missed a critical prediction becoming reality. That was not something we predicted.

Always willing to acknowledge those who came before and who know more. It turns out a group of South American shamans known for making bold end-of-year predictions issued an ominous warning about President Donald Trump's heath.

Who are we to complain if other predicters predict better, especially such a tantalizing prospect. Join us in keeping our eyes open for this exciting possible development.

We predict great joy to the world if these shamans have a line on the future. Or maybe they just saw these pictures…

 

The incurably pathological liar claimed “The White House Doctors have just reported that I am in PERFECT HEALTH…”(as always, extraneous caps in original). Yes, perfect health for a sickly old man who refuses to exercise, eats like a dumbass college freshman, check that, two dumbass college freshmen and takes four-times the dose of aspirin (which could lead to internal bleeding, especially in such huge doses) recommended by doctors for one person, but again, since he has the bulk of two, maybe the dosage is fine. Personally, I think he might need to up his dosage a bit. He knows best.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thoughts and prayers.