Minority Opinion

Frack You

Deep In The (Artificial) Heart of Texas

February 23, 2014

It’s not like I think they shouldn’t be allowed to marry or have basic human rights or anything like that, but I have to admit there is a minority group that really gets my dander up. I know, tolerance and acceptance and respect should be afforded every minority, no matter how small or how much they might annoy me. But these guys, and they are mostly guys, white guys in fact, just don’t make me feel socially conscious. Their behavior shows utter disrespect for the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. Yet they callously flaunt their flamboyant lifestyles and demean anyone who doesn’t belong to their group. They continually demand more and more of what they want and unendingly disregard the needs and feelings of others who don't live like they do. 

Hopefully you know what ‘fracking’ is. Hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, involves the introduction of water, mixed with sand and highly toxic chemicals, into sub-surface rock. The deadly mixture is injected into the ground at very high pressure to facilitate the removal of more toxic substances for the purpose of burning to suit our massive energy needs and to facilitate the end of human life on this planet.

Of course there’s big money to be made by the already-too-rich-to-care by the socially irresponsible, environmentally fatal, wanton extraction of the finite resources we know we should stop using. But it’s always difficult talking sense to an addict. Maybe you have heard of or seen some of the results of fracking: the insane waste of water to squeeze out a few gallons of oil or natural gas, the carcinogenic chemicals released into the environment causing cancer, infertility and birth defects, the exponential increase in earthquakes, people holding lighters to the water coming from their taps and watching the water burst into flame. It probably hasn’t happened to you…yet.

This very special minority doesn’t want to ever have to experience such inconveniences first-hand. Just like they would never let their sons and daughters fight the wars they insist our country fights, they don’t want this fracking happening where they can see it. These are the 1%. Take, for example, Tea Party overlord and self-serving simp Dick Armey. This Dick is the lead plaintiff in a lawsuit against allowing a water tower meant to supply water for fracking, which he and his co-plaintiff’s all support with the utmost vigor and greed. They just don’t support doing it anywhere near them. 

The suit has been joined by Exxon Mobile CEO Rex Tillerson. The plaintiffs contend that the project would create "a noise nuisance and traffic hazards." Noise Nuisance and traffic hazards as we all know are very bothersome and obvious whereas silly things like cancer, birth defects and infertility could take years before they happen to anyone and are very hard to prove scientifically. That is, assuming one believes in science for anything other than extracting, selling and burning fossil fuels. The site of the proposed 15-story tower is adjacent to Tillerson's 83-acre horse ranch and not far from an 18-acre homestead. What if he found the noise bothersome? What if a traffic hazard caused his Bentley to be scratched? Wouldn’t that be just too terrible? How could we live with ourselves if such a dreadful thing occurred?

So yes, I admit that I harbor ill will toward these upstanding job creators. Without them how would we manage to sustain so much abject poverty? How would we eradicate the Middle Class? Who would carry on the important work of trashing the environment? I know I'm being selfish by pointing a finger at them in broad daylight. Maybe I just have an unnatural attachment to the planet I live on.

I say: Let them eat cake…yellow cake…from Niger.

In Other News

The National Science Foundation surveyed more than 2,200 people in the United States and found that 26% think the Sun revolves around the Earth.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible billionaires invited.

Axis of Emo

SO TU, Barack?

Washington, DC

January 31, 2014 

Just as Lyndon Johnson, during his State Of The Union address fifty years ago called for an “unconditional War on Poverty,” Barack Obama threw down a gauntlet of his own in his 2014 State Of The Union address. While not in so many words, Obama clearly decided the time was right for America to launch an undeclared War on Pinheadery. As he gazed out on so many Tea Party scowls, and ultra-conservative cry-babies (Democ-rat and Republican’t alike), Obama demanded action on issues like Climate Change, renewable energy, the minimum wage, equal pay for women, income inequality, making health care more and more affordable, sensible gun legislation and putting an end to the limitless arrogance, perpetual obstruction and nation-crushing stupidity of today’s Republican’t Party.

House Speaker extraordinaire John Boener, having just run out of Scotch.

Obama suggested that another forty or so votes to kill Obamacare might not be the best use of time for the most worthless Congress in American history. John Boehner’s 113^th Congress has passed only 55 laws as of December 3, 2013. Historic note: The current Congress makes the famous (majority Republican) Do Nothing Congress of the late 1940s look like very busy bees. Boehner's bunch brings new meaning to Do-Nothing, managing to achieve even less than the most ineffective congress ever - the Newt Gingrich (majority Republican) Do-Less-Than Nothing congress of 1995 - which passed fewer than half of the meager number of laws than did the original Do Nothing Congress.

The president apparently said some things that sent Republican’ts into tantrum mode. Obama talked crazy talk about things like ending our presence in Afghanistan, not shutting down the government…again, taking the massive tax breaks away from the insanely profitable oil companies and diverting them into renewable energy technologies, protecting natural lands for future generations, restoring the unemployment insurance the maggots in congress let expire last December, making sure people who work full-time can afford food, keeping money out of our elections and other mind-bending socialist-communist-Marxist-Kenyan radicalism aimed at destroying our great nation of, for and by the One Percenters. I don’t know how Speaker Boehner kept the tears inside and mostly maintained his happy drunk face during Obama's address to the nation.

Following the speech a careening cavalcade of cantankerous, clueless clowns assaulted the airwaves, awkwardly attempting annoying anecdotes aimed at persuading America that these wayward wizards of worthless whining had just the tiniest clue 1) what they themselves were talking about, 2) that they had ideas of some kind, 3) that America would be better off dismantling the federal government, paying no taxes, fending for themselves, demanding crappy medical insurance that would help them achieve bankruptcy, killing the gays, working for less money and starting another war or two, or three, preferably in the Middle East or possibly New York.

Price of Petulance, Rand Paul (R-KY) decided he just had to put in his own 2 non-cents in response to the SOTU. Never mind that the Republican’ts already had someone deliver the official rebuttal, as did the soon-to-be-historic-footnoteTea Party. Paul clearly stumbles to the beat of a different fife player. And just as nobody else in congress wishes to associate themselves with Ayn-Rand Paul, he is clearly comfortable not associating with anyone else as he prepares his make-believe run for the presidency in 2014. I’m sure he will get almost as few many votes as his old daddy has managed to drum up over the years.

Lindsey Graham, whiny, adolescent girl senator from South Carolina, land of the undying Confederacy, a state that only recently and very begrudgingly stopped flying the Confederate flag in its capitol, repeated his usual assessment of any speech that doesn’t announce the beginning of a tragically insane war on some country or other. Clearly reeling from Obama’s constant pleas for patience, thoughtfulness and diplomacy across the globe, Ms. Graham, carefully choosing his words as always, in his usual understated manner offered, “The world is literally about to blow up.” This, Graham claims is a result of Obama's peacenik policies of massive spying on American citizens and his penchant for incessant drone strikes across the globe.

Ted Cruz imparted his usual hallucinatory take on things, squeaking, "There's going to come another president, a Republican president*, and if you have this power for the president to say, 'I don't agree with this tax law, this environmental law, this labor law, so I'm just going to change it' – that threatens the liberty of every American." 

Cruz and many other poor little Republican’ts are particularly bent out of shape about Obama’s threats to issue Executive Orders that circumvent their massive, unending roadblocks. Cruz said, “Of all the troubling aspects of the Obama presidency, none is more dangerous than the president’s persistent pattern of lawlessness.” Soon-to-be ex-Congresswoman and Guiness Book of World Records entry for least number of blinks in a lifetime, Michele Bachmann added, “The president renewed his commitment that he was going to be King Obama. This is something that is really frightening to the American people…He may think he’s king, he may declare he’s a king, but that’s not what he is under the Constitution.” Republican'ts pretend to be outraged that a president (even a white one I presume) would dare take matters into his own hands to make things happen. It may surprise you to find that Obama is not the first president to use his special powers to enact policies. You may be familiar with a president named Lincoln and his Executive Order known as the Emancipation Proclamation. Given the uproar that followed Obama’s long overdue decision to sidestep the Comatose Congress you would probably think he’s been quite abusive on this front. Rather than adding another thousand words, I’ll let you look at this picture:

The all-time champion of Executive Orders, not shown above, was Franklin Delano Roosevelt, whose time as president left us pretty darn well off compared to when he first took office.

The day after Tuesday's SOTU Obama signed an Executive Order authorizing Treasury Secretary Jack Loo to institute MyRA to help regular Americans save for the future. John McCain, who began serving in the Senate during the Grant administration I believe, was simply shocked, shocked I say, to hear Obama threaten to use Executive Orders. McCain put down his i-Phone long enough to croak, “We haven’t got many more options except tell the American people that we’re seeing an abuse of the intent of the Constitution.” The senior Maverick from Arizona needs to get back on his meds.

* This is growing more and more unlikely by the minute and will stay that way for a very long time unless they figure out a way to gerrymander federal elections, which they are in fact working on with great vigor ever since the Supreme Court killed the Voting Rights Act. For example, you know what is happening to presumptive Republican’t front-runner and Olympic gold-medalist in bullying - Crass Christie. He was just surpassed by Mike “Women Need To Keep Their Libidos In Check To Reduce Unwanted Pregnancies” Huckabee. It looks to be another mind altering Republican’t presidential primary coming soon to psych ward near you.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible gnashing of teeth invited.

Poor Excuse For A War

Don't Let The War Hit You On The Way Out

The Poor Side Of Town

January 12, 2014

This week saw the fiftieth anniversary of President Lyndon Johnson's first State of The Union address, during which he declared an “unconditional war on poverty in America.” Some of you might be thinking, heck, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. At least it’s a nice sentiment. Put me down as FOR it. And what do you know? It had its share of success and programs begun under the banner of The War on Poverty continue to provide critical assistance to Americans in need. And yes, somehow after fifty years poverty stubbornly continues to menace countless among us. Federal policies that actually helped level the playing field continue their uphill battle. Twenty-four years after Johnson's declaration, President Ronald Reagan decided he had a better idea. Reagan declared war on The War on Poverty lobbing this brilliant salvo, “Friends, some years ago the federal government declared war on poverty, and poverty won.” 

This year Senator Marco Rubio (T-FL) used this fiftieth anniversary of one of America’s prouder moments to first vote against extending unemployment benefits, and then claim he has a better way to fight poverty. The most amazing thing was his ability to get through the entire diatribe without lunging for a drink of water. Not to be outdone the Republican’t chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee proposed stopping unemployment benefits altogether. There are many more examples of such brave and moral pronouncements from our legislators, many of whom were blissfully complicit while George W. Bush pillaged the national treasury and handed anything that wasn't nailed down to the very wealthiest among us, playing no small part in the Great Recession from which we are just now emerging over half a decade later…maybe. Today’s Republican’ts remain resolute as ever in fighting the War on The War on Poverty. Go Poverty!

Get a job ya little moocher.

Republican’ts of course oppose Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, a minimum wage, child labor laws, welfare, food stamps, public education, school lunches, civil rights, abortion rights, voting rights - anything that might help those unable to overcome circumstances beyond their control. They will fight any attempt to provide government assistance to anyone not already advantaged. They can only abide government handouts to large banks and corporations and will fight for what they believe to the death…of the poor. Oh, and 50% of Congress are millionaires. And the richest of them all is Darryl Issa (R-YFKM), chairman of the House Oversight Committee. Filthy. Rich. Issa has busied himself with creating phony scandals to investigate, none of them having anything to do with moving the country forward in any way. He surely puts the con in congress. Paul Ryan, who owes his success in part to government "handouts," says giving such help to anyone else has created a "poverty trap." Why does Ryan hate himself?

There is one thing that can be used to level the economic playing field, actually any playing field, that Republican’ts favor with every bone in their bodies, including those in their cold dead hands. And that, my fellow Americans, is GUNS. Yes, if you can’t get a decent paying job, can’t afford food for your family, if your unemployment was cut off by wealthy congressmen, get a gun. Not only can't they stop you, most of the people who are keeping you from having jobs, money and food actually want you to have a gun. You can just shoot your way to happiness and prosperity and simply claim self-defense. This is Second Amendment territory. Start your well regulated militia today. Even if it's a militia of one. Stand your ground. It's time to declare war on the War On the War On Poverty. But don't fire until you see the whites of their skin or the green of their backs.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Don't actually shoot anyone.

This Ain't TIME Magazine

Paying Attention's

2013 Person of The Year

 No, this is not Trayvon Martin, so put your gun away Zimmerman.

by Ed Venture, Managing Editor

The staff here at Paying Attention decided to select a Person of The Year for 2013. And it's very difficult to get all of us to agree on anything…as you will see. We ferreted out far-flung factors, agonized appropriately, procrastinated profusely and, almost losing ourselves in a morose morass of videos and news articles, making sure to avoid any exposure to stories associated in any way with the now shamefully disreputable 60 Minutes. After much debate, soul searching and throwing of darts we came to a decision or two. So without further ado, Paying Attention brings you our Person of The Year for 2013.

This well-known figure is no longer with us but he was a bastion of social equality when it was even less fashionable than it is now. Despite his wealthy middle-class upbringing, he championed the needs of the poor and downtrodden over the well-to-do throughout his life. It was his belief that economic fairness was the keystone of social equality. The mainstream of America has had nothing but utter disdain for this brilliant socio-economic theorist/activist. Actually that’s not entirely true; most of mainstream America has had more than utter disdain for this historic figure. They have also had an abject fear of, and inexhaustible loathing for all everything he stood for, whether they actually understood any of it or not. Personally I was never a big fan though in some I found his ideas had great merit and were well worth considering. Many across the globe have studied and/or applied some of his theories to varying effect. Nevertheless it appears that his philosophy, and by some accounts two of his most ardent followers, have taken his message onto center stage of the world scene, seemingly at a level seen neither during nor since his lifetime. Ladies and gentlemen, cats and kittens, I give you…Karl Marx.

Marx in 2016

Now that, at least according to present-day luminaries like Rush Limbaugh along with countless nameless Tea Party opiners, America has a Marxist president and the Catholic Church has a Marxist Pope - arguably two of the most influential people on the planet. The historical influence of one of the West’s most reviled social philosophers can no longer be questioned. Karl Marx has clearly won the day, that is unless those few of Barack Obama's polices that support greater economic equality, and Pope Francis' disparaging comments describing the tyranny of capitalism and the dangers of almost incalculable economic inequality are actually derived from the teachings of Jesus. (Either way, I blame the Jews.)

During his new apostolic exhortation, "The Joy of the Gospel," (not to be confused with the Joys of Yiddish) in which the Pope laid out his vision for the church's proclamation of the gospel, Pope Francis said, "Just as the commandment 'Thou shalt not kill' sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, today we also have to say 'thou shalt not' to an economy of exclusion and inequality. Such an economy kills." What a commie pinko bastard. Where is Joe McCarthy when you need him? 

Wait, There's More

Oh yeah, and Edward Snowden - American patriot. Several days ago Snowden, in asylum in Russia, rather than in the asylum that is the NSA-run America he exposed, told Washington Post journalist Barton Gellman, to whom he leaked some of the documents he took from the NSA, “I already won. As soon as the journalists were able to work, everything that I had been trying to do was validated. Because, remember, I didn’t want to change society. I wanted to give society a chance to determine if it should change itself.”

“I am not trying to bring down the NSA, I am working to improve the NSA,” he told Gellman. “I am still working for the NSA right now. They are the only ones who don’t realize it.” Snowden's avowed intention was simply "to inform the public as to that which is done in their name and that which is done against them." 

Snowden risked everything to blow the whistle on an out-of-control "intelligence" community. Deciding to protect the United States Constitution, rather than his own comfort and safety, Snowden is considered an outlaw in the country he clearly loves. He is a hero. 

Have a great 2014.