ACCOMPLISHMENTS ACCOMPLISHED

All ABOUT SLEAZE

February 4, 2026

Not-so-great grandpa had his minions put together a ream of paper that allegedly (i.e., no fucking way) chronicles all of his fake accomplishments – and not just the eight or nine or twenty wars he stopped – all of the accomplishments he thinks he accomplished.

We did not trudge through the entire pile of lies, useless changes and actual hurtful deeds Don did. Here’s one example of what Der Furor considers an “accomplishment”

#243: “stripped notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter Biden of his taxpayer-funded Secret Service detail.”

Wow, how impressive. A big win for…wait, I’m sure it will come to me. Don’t know about you, but this is a real game-changer for me. And I’ll be sure to get in touch as soon as I figure out how.

Did Baby Don also include pardoning ex-Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernández despite his 45-year sentence for drug trafficking 400 tons of cocaine into the U.S. to “stuff the drugs up the gringos’ noses” as an accomplishment? Or the hundred-or-so other major drug traffickers Der Furor has pardoned? I guess one man’s accomplishment is another man’s shameful fuck-up.

King Doofus just before whining about almost being maimed by the binder clip

And then he seems to show that he is just as impressed as we are with all his “accomplishments”…

STUPID FUCKING UPDATE

Yippee! A new accomplishment. The Trump administration has secretly overhauled nuclear safety directives to fast-track the construction of a new generation of reactors. And guess what, this overhaul did not increase safety measures. This is especially important since 1) there are at least three experimental commercial reactors at play, and 2) the risk of nuclear disasters is only increasing because of all the fucking fracking going on, which has been causing hundreds of earthquakes every year in places that never had them before.

So, smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em. Get your affairs in order. And live every day as if it could be your last.

 I. Mangrey reporting.